EOPLE 


iktrhcrt    bg 


HARLES 


EENE. 


Jfrora  iijf  Collcttion  if  "Sr.  |inulj." 


JAMES     R     OSGOOD    &    CO 


Our 

People. 

■•« i=HI«*- 

At     Home. 

Our 

People. 

••.•.J=HjH=^.. 

Street-Life. 

Our 

People. 

".-►>:-*■«... 

In    the    Country. 

Our 

People. 

••.^=;-*«s^" 

Travelling. 

Our 

People. 

••.■^-»*^.. 

Professional. 

Our 

People. 

.«5=H(H=S^••• 

Ofticial. 

Our 

People. 

-.►>;-*«:—• 

In     the     Army. 

Our 

People. 

■■-^•^••SS*- 

Art    and    Artists. 

Our 

People. 

■■•<->}•*«••• 

Vol  unteers. 

Our 

People. 

•.•■^=i-*«*.. 

At    Business. 

Our 

People. 

■•M.>H(K=S«. 

Domestics. 

Our 

People. 

Working     Folk. 

Our 

People. 

••.*>:■*&,*.. 

In     Ireland. 

Our 

People. 

In     Scotland. 

&€.. 

&c. 

II  f  E  M  T 


1^7 
--^  <» 


PAGE 

PAGE       t 

PACE 

PAGE 

A^ustmeut                     -25 

Bon  Voyage!       .         100,  152 

Concert,  the  Morning 

97 

Distinction,  a      •       .       .51 

A  Fortiori                         .  no 

Boon  Companions  .           .96 

Conclusive      .       . 

58 

Distracting     .              •    ■    47 

Alarming    ....    4.^ 

Boxing-Day .       .       .       -55 

Confederate,  a  Treacherous 

=3 

District  Visitor,  Trials  of  a  127 

Alma  Mater   ■               ■    .     50 

Boys,  those  Dreadful      .    ■    So 

'Confession  .... 

134 

Durance 3 

Angling  Eitraordinary           81 

Breaking  the  Ice           24,  156 

in  Confusion 

iS 

Duty  and  Pleasure            .    69 

Answer,  a  Soft       .            .22 

Brie  a  Brae    .       ...  144 

Confidence,  in       ... 

98 

• 

Anything  for  a  Change     .118 

Brother  Brush    ■              ■    84 

Connoisseur,  the 

16 

Education!     .       .       23,  loi 

Appeal,  a  Final             •    ■     37 

Brushing  Pa's  New  Hat    .  136 

Connoisseurs,  the  . 

60 

Embarrassing .       .       .    •     50 

Appearances                     .  nS 

Business!                     ■    ■    6g 

Conscience,  a  Guilty  . 

74 

Encouraging!            .   90,  145 

Arbiter  Elegantiarum   .    .    35 

a  Stroke  of.       .  135 

Conscience  Clause,  the  . 

lOI 

Equal  to  the  Situation     .    74 

Arcadian  Amenities  .       .     56 

Bus-Measure                        147 

Considerate . 

52 

Exchange !      .       .       .    .    25 

Archery  Meeting,  the    .    .    76 

By  the  Card  .              ■■41 

Convalescent,  the  . 

74 

Excuse,  a  Perfect   .   .       .107 

Architecture  (Irish)  .       .123 

Cool  Card,  a 

97 

Exempli  Gratia      •       .    -102 

Argnmentum  ad  Hominem    2 1 

Candid        ....  132 

Cricket   .... 

23 

Extenuating  Circumstances    70 

Artful-Very!               •    •    57 

Canny             •       .       68,  122 

Criticism,  Considerate 

109 

Extortion    .       •       •       -130 

Artist.  Our  .                    .54 

Casual  Acquaintance,  a      .    43 

Legitimate    . 

127 

Art-School   Conversazione, 

Catechism  under  DifBculties    78 

Culture   for   the   Working 

Fahrenheit     ....  107 

Our 119 

Cavalry  Criticism  .       .    .  142 

Classes     • 

43 

Failiiig,  a  Little  ...    60 

As  Well  as  can  be  Expected    46 

Chaff 31 

Cure,  a  Perfect  ■ 

45 

Failures,  Our.       .       •    •  149 

Awkward!                    75,  108 

Change  for  the  Better,  a       65 

Curious   .... 

iiS 

amiliarity    breeds    Con- 

Character  a  Satisfactory  .    98 

Customer,  Bad 

2 

empt  .       .      ».       .124 

Badinage        ....  146 

Chronology     .       •       .    .  147 

Family  Man,  a        .                15 

Bagpipes  and  Classical  Music  $6 

Circumlocutory!                    43 

Dear,  Dear  Boy !     • 

83 

Family  Pride       .       .       .       i 

Banting  in  the  Yeomanry  155 

Civil  Serv.^nts,  H.M.,  What 

Decimals  on  Deck 

«3 

Family  Ties   .        .       .    .      S 

Bargain,  Driving  a        .    -132 

they  have  to  Endure  ■  117 

Definition,  a   . 

70 

Foather, the  last  (Co-oper- 

Barometrical                       14 

Civil  Service  Miseries       .    49 

Degenerate  Son, a 

•      25 

ative)   •                       '25 

Beard  Movement,  the     ■       1 06 

Club  Law                          .94 

Delicacy  .... 

40 

Fiat  Experimentum      .    -153 

Beauty,  a  Thing  of    .       .126 

Colloquial  Equivalents          65 

Delicately  Put     . 

73 

Fine  Art     ■       •       .       .145 

Benediction!  a             ■■  ^33 

Commissariat,  the  •           .    69 

Depression 

,S(T 

Finishing  Touch,  the    ■    •  109 

Bereaved     ...    96 

Copiparisons                    .73 

Desperate  Case !  .          25 

,  100 

Fish,  a  Big .       .       .       .56 

Between    two    Shoeblacks 

Compliment,  j.             .        47 

Dignity   .       .       .       .  i 

,  102 

Fishing,  an  Evening's  (be- 

we fall.  &c.            .    .  1 20 

Complimentary  .              ■    39 

Dilemma,  a         ■     20,  91 

,•38 

hind  the  Distillery  at 

Bird  Show,  the  ■              .5 

Compliments  of  the  Season 

Dinners.   Little,  How   w 

Sligo)      .                  .121 

Birthday       Dinner-Party, 

82,  85,  131 

arrange  our 

•    58 

Flattering   .              .       -72 

Mrs.  Prummage's        .   1 34 

Compliments  of  theCSketch- 

Disaffection ! 

•  '25 

Flunkeianum  .              ■    •  >  37 

Blank  Firing  ■               •    ■  '55 

ing)  Season                 .84 

Dish,  a  New 

■     53 

For  Better  for  Worse      '.      7 

iContrnlS     of      ■©SlU     ^J  «£  O  iJ  Ibe." 


Game  (a)  Two  can  Play  at 
Gamut,  the     . 
Garrison  Instruction  ■ 
Grandiloquence 
Gratitude    - 
Grey  Mare,  the 
Gentility  in  Greens    ■ 
Geology  .       .       ■       • 
Golden  Age  Restored,  the 

Habit,  Force  of 

„     a  Luxurious    - 
Ha!  Ha!  the  Wooin' o' it 
Happy  Thought 
Hard  Lines . 
Hardship,  a    • 
Hard-up  on  a  Wet  Day 
Harp  in  the  Air,  the 
Heresy    .... 
He  thought  he  was  Safe 
Hibernian  Veracity 
High  Life  below  b     rs ! 
Hoist  with  his  own  Pon. 
Hunting  Appointments 
Hunting  Idiot 
Hygiene 
Hyperbole 

Ignorance,  Crass  • 
Im-pertincnt  ■ 
Incidit  in  Scyllam,  &c. 
locombinahle  Elements 
Ingennas  Didicisse,  &c. 
Ingenuity,  Irish 
In  the  Long  Bun 
Initiative,  Obvious  • 
Inspection,  Our  . 
Intelligent!    . 
In  Vino  Meraoria 
lo  Bacche ! 

Irish  Grievances,  Real 
Irreverent 
Inovocablc  . 
Is  it  Pos-siblc  ? !    . 
It's  an  HI  Wind,  &c. . 
It's  the  Pace  that  K 

Jeopardy,  in  ■ 
Just  in  Time 


PACE 

13 

141 
142 

77 
93 
58 
9 
96 

63 

50 
63 
■50 
82 

35 
140 

99 
122 

4» 

108 

I II 

94 

47 

89 

54 

108 

88 


99 
36 
12 

■5" 

'3  = 
89 

129 
78 
60 
8S 

■53 
55 
3' 
90 

141 

4> 


Knowledge,  Pursuit  of 

Labour,  Division  of    ■ 

Lapsus  Lingux 

Last  Word,  the  • 

Le  Jeu   ne    vaut   pas  la 

Chandelle 
Lessons  in  the  Vacation 
Let  Well  alone !    • 
Levelling  tip 
Liberal  to  a  Fault 
Like  her  Impudence 
Lingua  East  Anglia 
Little  and  Good  • 
Look  before  you  Leap 
Lucid! 

Lucus  a  Non,  Sic. 
Luxury,  Seasonable 


PACE 

•    95 

38 
76 
9' 

28 

•38 

28 

77 
48 

140 
62 

'35 
27 
26 
88 


Making  Things  Pleasant  ■  81 
Mai  Apropos   ■  .18 

Manners!    ■       ■  .116 

Manoeuvres,  Our  .  •  19,  59 
March  of  Refinement  ■  ■  2 
Master  of  the  Situation  ? !  1 1 6 
Matter!  .       .       .  •37 

Meat  Supply,  the       .       .66 

Menace 126 

Men  were  Deceivers  ever  49 
Mens  Conscia      ■  ■       i 

Mercies,   Small,    (not) 

Thankful  for    .  .    30 

Military  Manceuvres ,  .19 
Mind  and  Matter  .     79 

Mine  of  Speculation,  a  .  21 
Misnomer,  a  .  .  .  .  128 
Mistakes  will  Happen  .  136 
Mistletoe  Bough,  Oh  the  .  42 
Model,  an  Irish  ■    ■  '33 

More  than  one  for  his  Nob  137 
M. P.,  a  Pledged   ■  .      4 

Music  in  the  Midlands .  106 
Music  of  the  Future-  Sen 

sation  Opera  .    94 

Mystery  solved,  the  3 

Mystification  .71 

Nae  that  Fou!  .110 

Narcotic,  a  ■  '5 


Natural  Advantages 
Nature  and  Art 
Never  say  '  Die '    . 
Nimble  Ninepence,  the 
No  accounting  for  Taste 
Noblesse  oblige! 
No  Mistake,  this  Time 
No  such  Luck 
Not  Proven. 
Not  so  Fast !  ■ 
Not  to  put  too  fine  a  Point 
on  it     ■ 

Obliging  • 

Off!      ...       . 

Offender,  an  Old 

Offer,  a  Fair 

Officer  (an)  and  a  Gentle- 
man! 

Once  for  All       .       . 

On  the  Pace  of  it  . 

Order,  an  Eitensive  • 

Ornaments  for  your  Fire- 
Stoves?    . 


PAGE 
"3 


Panic  in  the  Kitchen,  a 

Parthian  Shaft,  a 

Particular! 

,,        to  a  Hair    . 

Partner,  Vivifying   Treat- 
ment of  a 

Passage  of  Arms,  a   - 

Penny  Wise    . 

Perils  of  the  Deep     . 

Personal! 

Perepectivc ! 

Pet.  Intelligent 

Pickles,  Mixed    . 

Pic-nic,  the     . 

Pink  of  Fashion,  the 

Plain  to  Demonstration 

Pleasant  for  Simpkins ! 

Pleasuring ! 

Plutocrat,  a    -       ■ 

Point  of  View,  a 

Point  of  View,  from  one 

Poor  Humanity! 

Precise    .       .       , 

Presence  of  Mind 


"3 

36 

129 

64 

'05 

»7 

3° 

121 

'54 
36 

7' 

38 

55 

I II 

'43 
92 

'3' 
30 

131 


Prevention's  better  than 
Cure 

Profanation - 

Proof  Positive  .    . 

Prospect,  a  Pleasant 

Prospect,  a  Nice 

Provinces,  Something  from 
the        ....  ,55 

Prudence,  Common        .    .      6 

Pulpit-Critics,  Stern  .  68 


32 

"5 

34,  90 

'47 

34 

'37 

46 

4 
100 

79 

3 

126 

57 

5 

9 

128 

107 
37 
87 

119 

7 
29 

'44 


g 
.   80 

•  3» 

67.85 

•  95 


Qualifications . 
Quantity,  not  Quality 
Quite  another  Thing 
Quite  Superfluous 

Races  not  yet  Extinct 
Rather  too  Literal     • 
Ready !    .       .       . 
Reason  in  Woman 
Reassuring       .       •      67, 
Rsddctio  ad  Absurdum 
Refrigerated  Tourists 
Rsfusal,  a  Rash 
Register!  Register!    . 


Reminiscences    • 
Reproof.  Proper 
Res  Augusta  Domi 
Reserves,  Our— the  Battle 
of  Amesbury 
Auxiliary    Forces, 

North  of  Ireland  ■ 
Restraints  of  Society 
Retributive  Justice    • 
Revenge    for    the    Union 

More 
Riding  Lesson,  the  • 
RoU-Call,  the  .       . 
Romance  of  the  Kitchen 
Run  of  the  House,  the 
Running  Drill,  the  New 
Rural  Simplicity     . 
Rustic  Recollections 

Sacrifice  ... 
Satisfactory  ! 
Sausage  Machine,  the . 
Scruples  ... 


33 
148 
I II 
'OS 


'S» 
83 
'49 
1 12 
86 
2 

73 

120 

97 

46 

•35 


59 

146 
"4 
4' 

13 
26 

9 
82 
103 
'9 
78 
52 


'50 
t6 


Contents     of      '©aiE     13  «£©  13  ly(E.-' 


Scrupulous  ' 

PACE 
12 

PAGE 

Suit    your  Talk    to   your 

Ticket  of  Leave,  a  • 

PACE 

.     66 

Wages  and  Wives 

P.\CF- 

93 

Season,  a  Bad  • 

124 

Company                     .75 

'Tis  better  not  to  Know 

•     30 

Warning,  Awful 

16 

Secrets 

«'5 

Suspicion!                         .86 

Too  Bad !     . 

.  141 

Ways  and  Means 

'53 

Selling  him  a  Peniijwortl 

65 

Sweet  is  Bevenge— especially 

Too  Late. 

106 

Weather,  a  Change  in  the 

1 1 

Sermon,  the  First 

24 

to  Women !                •     S4 

Too  True !  . 

.     92 

Weights  and  Measures 

44 

Servants,  the    35,  40,  104 

,  127 

Sympathy                      48,  103 

Tourists.  Refrigerated 

2 

Well  Meant    . 

"3 

Service  (the)  going  to,  Sc 

143 

Tracts!    . 

66 

Wet  and  Dry 

'54 

Shocking!   • 

'56 

Tailors'  Strike,  in   conse- 

Trade, SUte  of 

-7 

What  Nest? 

104 

Silence  is  Golden  . 

14 

quence  of  the  .           .    45 

Travellers.  Tricks  upon 

.48 

What's  in  a  Name  ? 

35 

Silly  Suffolk  (?)Pastorals- 

Temper,  the  Triumphs  of .       6 

Truth,  a  Half 

7 

What's  the  Odds  ? . 

61 

Beciprocity  ■ 

7<; 

Temptation  -                          .vi 

Trying. 

5 

When  you  are  about  it 

'03 

Silver  Lining  to   a  Cloud 

Terms,  Cash                           93 

Turk,  a  Regular    . 

II- 

Where  Ignorance  is  Bliss  &c 

30 

not  a 

53 

Theatricals,  Our                    73 

Turn  .iliov.t. 

Si 

Where  there's  a  Will  there's 

Simple  Addition 

114 

The  Better  the  Day,  &c           5 1 

Two  Sides  to  a  Question 

■     S5 

a  Way!. 

'50 

Simplicity,  Sweet  . 

"5 

The  Way  we  Build  now         151 

Tyranny    . 

4.^ 

Wimbledon 

'39 

Sinister  Slip,  a  - 

49 

The  Way  we  had   in 

Winkles!     . 

12S 

Slip  0'  the  Tongue,  a 

i3 

Army                            143 

Ulster,  the  . 

14 

Woman-hater,  a 

102 

Small  Mercies 

44 

The  Way  we  Live  now      -112 

Unconscionable 

15 

Woman  of  Business,  a 

'49 

Sold-Cheap 

64 

The  more  Haste,  the  less 

Unprejudiced ' 

10 

Woman's  Rights 

6,S 

Son,  a  Kind 

10 

Speed    .                      -     ,'<- 

Up  and  Down  Stairs 

9- 

Words  and  Weights 

17 

.,    a  Degenerate 

=  5 

Themis,  Irish  Ideal  of           12.- 

Spoiling  it     •       .       . 

33 

There's  many  a  Slip              62 

Veneration 

22 

XXX  cellent  Reasons  • 

4S 

Straightforward  View,  a 

SI 

Tho'  lost  to  Sight-          .     :q 

Vested  Interests. 

•     3' 

Struggle  for  Existence,  the 

98 

Thrilt  .       .                         123 

Veteran,  a       •       .       . 

.     61 

Zoology           ... 

130 

cfoMP/^^N  ION  To"OUf\^PEOPL^E',' 

ENGLISH  ^{)CIETYATf(OME, 

S  o  c  i  ety  ~P  i  Q  t  u  res    i3y 
OeOF(G-E  J3u  MAURlEy^. 

,JA)vrES  R.. OSGOOD  8^Qo  , PUB  LiShCCRS . 


i[i1fH'">^i 


Mens     Conscia . 

Inspector  {icho  notices  a  lacliranhiess  in  History).    "Who  signed  Map.na  Chakta  i"  (Xo  atisiccr.) 

Inspector  (more  urgnttly).    ""Who  signed  Magna  Chauta?"  (.V»  (ajsircr.) 

Inspector  {nngrily).    "Wiio  signed  Magna  Charta  ! !  ?" 

Scapegrace  (Ihinlhtg  inaficrs  arc  hrcfinninfj  to  look  scrwvn).    "PiKAsr,  Sm,  'hv-a.^n't  me,  Su:  ! !  " 


Didniiy. 


Club  •' Buttons.'*  "  I  'm  at  the  *Ji'mou  Peninsulak'  now." 
Friend.  "What!   Did  you  'Gkt  the  Sack''fi:om  'the  KeynoldsM" 
Buttona  (jm/iyi'""').  "<;«►  ALONG  with  yer  !     'Cet  the  Sack:'    I  sent  jn 

MY    liICSl'.VATION   TO  THE  C'.M3inTi:i-:!     " 

1 


Fa miiy  Pri de. 

First  Boy.  "My  FAxnEii's  a  OitFicnr.."    Second  Boy.  "'W'iiat  Okficep.?" 
First  Boy.  "Why,  a  CokI'oral  ! "    Third  Boy  {fvidcnfli/  "comic"),  "So 'a  jiy 

I'AIIIETt— he's  a   OkFICER,  TOO —A  CKNEi:At,    HE   IS  !  "    FoUTth  Boy.  *'Go  ALONG 

■WITH  YEii !  "    Third  Boy.  "So  he  is— he's  a  Gexeral  Vsalbr/J" 


Bad    Customer 


liandlady.  "What  Cestlemas's  Lcccace  is  this,  Sam  ?'' 

Ancient  Waiter.  "'Ck'tleman's  Lcgcage,  'ji  I  'Ou'  bleshveh,  xo.  Mum  !  That's  .iKTtsi  rK.irs,  tdat  is.  Tiiet'i,i.avi!  Tea 
nfiHE  to-sioiit,  take  a  little  Lodcin"  to-mokkow,  and  there  they'll  be  a  Loafix  Acoi-T  the  place  F'ip.  Months,  inns'  so 
Good  to  Nobody  I " 


"March  of  Refinement'! 

Brown  {Whintt  Ou  Jijc,  hit  huvfjry).  "Give  we  the  Bill  cr  Faije,  Waitee." 
He*d  Waiter.  "  Beo  rArn<iN,  Sir.'"  Brovn.  "Ti.e  Bill  of  Fabe." 

Bead  WalUr.  "The    what,    Sir.  T     O '.  — \n  \—\f.< '."—{Io  Sulmliiialt'l— 

"ClIAWLja,    CCIXQ  THIS— Tinr—.l—GEX'LfJIAX— THE  ilEXOOl!" 


Refrigerated  Tourists 


I>roTincial  Waiter.  "  Ice  :  Oe.vtlemes  I  There  ain't  no  Ice  is  AuTlM.v 
Time.  BfT  it  s  easy  to  See  you  are  Gents  rnoii  Ijosdos,  as  don't  Know 
MUCH  AnoLT  Nature,  and  1  do.n't  Blasik  you  foi:  it,  in  couilse.  But,  Ice 
IN  August  !"  [Ezit,  snujgtriny. 


Intelligent     Pet. 


"Ma,  de-vk  what  do  thky  Tj^y  the  Organ  so  Loud  foh,  when  'CHUutu' 

IS  OVER?      Is   IT  TO  AV'aKE   US   t  T  ? " 


"  Dura  nee." 
Little  Daughter.  "'Won't  tiiey  let  is  Oirr  without  pAVrsG,  Ma'?" 


The  Mystery  Solved. 


Effie  {our  Parson's  im/c  tlmujhtcr:  her  first  cxpciicucc  of  "Church."     Aloiul—nUh  intense  surprise).     "'1'a  aM'  ai.i.  tiik  IIeaK  tUTi-t 

Boys,  ly  tiikir  NiCHTfj'iWNs,  going  to  Byk-Uvk  ! !  " 


iJ^S'^^ 


A    Pledged    M.P. 

M.P.  t  Bride    "On;  Wilmam,  deaj!— if  you  are— a  LlnKliAl,— no  bkisg  in  a  Bill— next  Sk.sion— foi:  iiiat  rNDERcnol'NJi 

TlNNEl.  I  !  " 


"Perils    o-f  the   Deep." 


Unprotected  Female  {aiivLiuj  itU    ,  «/,  xrl.o  ...  «u(  i.<j  'r'll).   "O,  MlalKl:,  would  too  find  the  Caitai.v  .'     I'm    i 

IS    I'ANCEi: !    r\r.  BKLs  Matciiinc  hie  Mas  at  iheWiikil;  iik  Kttre  Turmno  it  kound  iiiisi  Osu  Way  ami   ihex   iiie 
*.>rirKr..  AMI  EMUKNii.v  imujis't  K.vuw  iit^  ows  Mliii!!" 


'The    Pink    of   Fashion." 


■Oir.  FtowHiL  S:io\v  was  a  DEcrDED  Scrcnss  rjiis  vKvr;,  and  Little  Fid:;ins  tx   ax   l-;Mni:cjiD::nF.Li  Fi.okai,  Waistcuai- 

WAS    KlI.I.INc!" 


The  Bird  6 ho  w . 

That   CharmlnfT   Oal    ir.V/i    //re  blue  fmtlicr   {to   Prhr    'Mmtrij).    "SWRSiv, 
I»K.\K  !" 

Comic  Man  ("  Dohissuiw  ran  Jhiu,"  ffom   Otc  othcf  aiWc  •/  jKilftt'iit).   "  Yll-*, 
J>i  I  KY  !" 

[UU'-rly  rntiiiirj  the  fuij/rji,  uml  tidiiiy  (he  triad  onf  u*  t/if.  Mi'/jt  uf  hs  lull 
frifuil  {tirrwnM  niitu),  ffw  hul  h.ni  .'tfuMutjiiij  aiwat  ftrr  nil  //c;  I'/tcriiMii, 
.tail  thntfih'  '"■  h  •■'  ■,>->-{r  nil   iiHjuysHioitf 

5 


Happy  Swain  (xA-:  /m-v  "  .m»r./  /A-  ffci.-/").    "Ani>  now,   ukauksv  Ijimi, 

IHAT    IS    A[.I.    HKrri.l!H.       WiTII    KKUAUD    TU  JhWI- I.LKUY,    MY    I-!)VK;    WOlLU  YuU 

LIKE  A  Si:r  IN  1'I.AIS  Gol.i>,   "K " 

Edith  {'fO}Wiin\itl  tinii  c<'Mrtf;/«ii(*,  tttul  tKh-j  siiffent  a  tjw(l  ttotl /to»t  ("^/ihtuihr). 
"On,  At-»;Lsris,  .now  y<>i:  ask  mk— hu  yui-  know— I-jtKALi.Y-.BOT— "Mt*. 
Cunl-ii  Toi.n  Miv  Yi-XMCi:i>AY  'iiiAT  UK  rui  i.H  ]-:xTi:Ai:r  ai.i.  I  iiavs  ami>  put 
IS  A  iii-.Anib-LL  M-w  Si:r  run  mm.v  Futckn  (.In.SKAb  I  :" 


^■•:;^^ 


Common     Prudence. 

Bnob.   "Oil,  let's  c!:t  out  o'  this  Mor,  "Aiinv  :  tkkyli.  think  wk'kk  a  coin'  lo  Cinnm: 


The     Triumphs     of     Temper. 

Fare  {oiU  of  p-niimer  at  Utf  fourth  "jil"  in  a  MUt).  "  Hf,  TBI'-  won't  i>o  !     I  miau-  get  out  !" 

Cabby  {through  tht  trap,  in  a  yrhispcr^.   "All   Ttiiv,  foR,    MVF.n  MiMi  HEi;  !    Sit  fcTiLL !    Don't  give  urn  tdk  Satibfaciion 
Av  knowin"  hiik'm  got  eid  av  te!!" 


"  For     Better    for     Worse  " 

Our  frknl  EiujnUlfjr  (luisti't  a  y-p)  Jul^  Just  mnrricd  the  v;id')iv  {rich)  of  chf  Iltirh'sihni  Vf  stwliii\>hi\ 
llrs.  B.  (ftcliriiuf).  "Shall  I  sr,xi>  my  Poppet  his  Slippkiis?" 
Mr.   B.    "  X-s-N-N-o— 'NOT  AT   PnKsEXT,  TuASKS  ! "     (Sotio  rocc  to  his  guest  when  the  dwr  vas  closff.)      "Nui    so   i-uMi   av   iiavinc 

TPIK    }>\V7.7.l.KS  ON    MY    FeET  AT  ElfillT  o'ci.OtK    IX    TIIK    EVKNINO,    VOV    KNOW,    liAUNKY  !  '." 


A     Half    Truth. 

Cuard  [of  Ijte  Fnlnuiis  lUiHuan  Cunijaiaj,  thitt  stiU  furliih  Ivbacto).  "  Sti.Om; 
Smpxl  (IF  Smuku,  Sill  !" 

Passecffcr  {his  ci'jnr  covered  ly  his  ncirsj.nper).  "  Ya — As  ;  tmk  rAi;r\'  XMiu 
JUS  JUM  (.iiT  oiT  HAU  hkkk  Smokinu  yi mot  sly  !  !" 


Poor     Humanity  ! 

Bride.   "I  think— Cii;oi:ui%  ?ii;An— 1  sum  i.D-ni'.  potei:— if  wu  Walkj;i. 

AUUUT " 

Huaband  {imc  wonMut  have  leluvfii  H  of  him).   "Yt.if  can  Do  as  YOU  likk. 
Love.     I'm  veuy  WEi.L(!t  as  I  am  M" 


Fam  i  ly    Ti es. 


{,IU9^('faU>j  iLtliaUcd  to  Mr.  Punch's  czctlUtit  ffinids  at  the  Ey^ptian  Jlnil—V.  and  C.) 
Aunt.  •■*;i;aciovs  (Jijodness  :  wii.vr  arb  ahu  doing  in  my  Cipiwakd,  voi:  XAur.ii-n-  llovs?" 
Jftcky.   "On,  AiXT,  wv/ixv.  1'L.\mng  'Masijiline  ash  Cook';     I   tie  iiiu   to  the  Ciiaiii,    ash   \vi:kx  tiik   IKkiu 

lllft    HAM»>i    AKK    VV.r.K.      TlIFS    HE    IIOIvS   SIK!1" 


" Prevention  Better  than  Cure" 


Q«rm*n  Impostor  [ngtctinj  concrfH).   "  DkuR  u  ?*o^K  \  in   Il.l. !" 

JsaoDM    '•  Wti.i.,  Nor  jl'st  yei  I    ISci   iiini:*;  i'i:w  lors  s^inx  wii.i.  nr,  ir  vit  nos  "i   Ks'k.;;  Oki 


The     Roll-Call. 

Serjeant.   "Ali-ster  McAlisteu!"  Answer.   "Hamisuo!"  Sergeant.  "Donal'  McBeas!"  Answer.    "Hamisiio! 

Sereroant.   *' Teteb  McKay  !  "  Answer.    "  HAMisno  !  "  Servant.   "Juhn  Smith!"  Answer.   "Hcr.E,  Sir!" 

Serg-eant  (icUh  a  Sniff).   "  Ucii  I     '  Esulish  Pock-Pudding'"!! 


Gentility  in  Greens. 


(Mrs.   Broxrii  finde  Saiutj/myu^lh  ti   rmj  different  p7a::  jrotH  what  she   remnubcrs  it 
yatrs  ago/) 

Oreen«Tocer.   "('AnflAfiK,  Mi'M  !  •    Wr.  don't   krki'  so  SKro.vD-CLA.stt  Vko>> 
TABLES,  Mum.    You'll  cet  it  at  the  Lower  End  u*  the  Town  !  ' 

9 


— ^       ?^v 


Pieinto  Demonstration. 

Customer  [ncrvou-tly).  "Ah!  imev  >:V.-i  le  VKr.v  Iuksome  at  kikst." 
Dentist  [cx'uUnntly).    "  XoT  A  i;iT  oy  it.-  Sik  !    LroK  iif.p.k,  Fill!"    {Drjrtf 
rMOily  catchin'j  his  entire  srt-)   "  Hiiiii: "ft^MY  *L'i'n;it3,  Asu  iiruK  >*  mv  I'siiEns  ■  ' 


Unprejudiced  '. 

Swall  (al  ihr  li.  A.  Erhiiilwii).  "  Haw  :  'vt  Tou  Axv  InEA— w  WUAT  Fei-law's  riCTU-AiB  we  'nr.  to  Admi-abe  this  Yk-au  '.'.'.V 


A     Kind    Son. 

Pftt«r&tzLiliaa  {to  hit  EUUst  Son,   }cho  U  tU  SarthofLmeio's).    "GKOltr.f,  TnftiK 

AKK    I.SrOllilONLV    OtKJU    ClUAlU  !      |    (.AST    AfFOIlD    TO  SllUKK  SUCIl   EXIKSSIVK 

Ck;akm  as  tuhse." 
Osorr*  {jran^lyi.   "Flu,  TovB  Cask— riix  TOCE  Cask,  Gov'see!  !" 


Cra5.s     Ignorance 
Fir«t  SweU.    "Let's  see— Tc-Mouiiok's Wmais  t'uav,  byth'ut  I " 

B«cond      Sw«U.       "  TlK-SDAV,     isk'T     )T  !— All     >li)SnAT  >— WAS     TEST  'jav, 

Sisoat!    Ne'   jiisii— (jnimi)— my    Mas'ei.   be   hlks    Pwesentlt-i-wkcious 
siiwEWD  Fellow— Tkll  ti  like  a  Shot!!" 


A     Change     in     the     Weather. 

Patarfan.iU.s  («,».  a  sigk  :   M.  family  *«..  ice.  U  l>mto,.c  for  ,kr  kM,  '■  Ifa  AtL  V !  " 

Bachelor  PHend  (•*  H.S  cj^^  these  UUU  Dinner.).   "  Wh.t's  t„.  MAJ^Er  1  ^^^^^  ^^^^  ^ .. 

Pa.erfamiUa..   "T.L.cn.M  !     S„E  SAT.  rUEV  •vE  AnBUED  SArE  Ar  JoLKESTONE. 


"Res     Angustae     Doml  " 


,-C-_-iIiS^,v. 


.^^^m^^^mi^-^'^^--   . 


Irish     Ingenuity. 

Saxon  TooTllt.    "WuAT   ON    Eakih    ak-    TOU    LoWEBlNO    HIE   SllAHS    kok!"     (tfc  Am  jlW    Mini  Olil   '/.■■'   "■/ 
thmtt/h  at  every  asoent.) 

Car-Driver.   "  Slant,  TER  'oNXEB,  WEIL  MAKE 'm  Ulave  he's  Cols'  I)0«S  HlLI.  I" 


"^"V. 


!T.^'-\_  "^^^^jssi." 


"^  '^^^'^'C' J'**. "' 


?r>'&%^35^^*^ 


Scrupulous 

3h»ph.id.  ■O.  Jims,  Min'    Cas  ve  SO  ciE  A  WHISTLE  OS  TiiA  li.iMiis'  lir.vTE  u'  uist;    I  UAi  USA  utsel' ;  iTi  JIST  Fast- 

Day  is  oob  I'Aiiisii  I '.  " 

12 


A     Game     Two     can      Play     at. 


Guard  (/..  i'.oUat  Pnsxmjfr  ,il  III'  Eiliiihm:jh  SI'itioii,  just  iis  llic  Train  is  Slartinj).  "  Yli'r.n  Too  Latk,  Sli:. 
Stalwart  Aberdonian.   "A"  .matn:"  Quarl  ^/lolUiiifj  liiin  inck).   "Yecanxa!" 

Aberdonian.   "TKri,  vr.  a'  maux— a'  wkel  1  '     i.Uriiijiiioj  O'liniil.)     "If  a'  MAl-SS*,  YE  SASXA  ! !  ! " 


Yf.  lASSA  KsiKl: 


Decimals     on      Deck. 

Iriah  Mate.   'MIi'M    .\i  \NNY  IV   vi;  Tutuv   inii:-ui;'I 

Voice  from  tho  Hold.  •■TlIltKK,  Sun  !" 

Hate.  "Thin   IIm.k  iv  YK  rnMr.  Vl-  in-.i:u  lMMADI.vn-:i.y  !  I'' 


More     "Revenge    for    the     Union," 

Siion  Tourl.t  [a!  Iris\  IlniUm>j  SUitiiii).   "What  Tnii:  n..r,s  titi:   Ma..^ 
l'v<v  Ki.LvEs'  Til  lis  Stakt,  Paddy  I" 
Porter.  ".Vt  TlliaTrv  Misutes  to  Twilvii-.siiAliuiT.  S.mi  !  ' 

[7'hhjiV  Mires  itp,  diHcQiiiftcd. 


13 


The  Ulster. 

Schooll)07  (/o  Broum,  i»  his  tinr  .pr-rt-cotii).  "  Yah  '.    Coil",  OVT  OF  IT  I   D'ymi' 

TUINK    !    PHN't  see  YEK  '.  !  " 


"Silence     IS     Golden" 

Chatty  Old  Gent.  "Have  V'tf  L'*s>.  H'tvi-.s,  m»-.\r.  r.u;iAi:'  " 

Bailway  Porter, "vhw  TVmijvi-  A/t*  6fH  xjmu'Ii).   "Sash:  a>  ANVWiiEr.rs  Eijse. 

I    s'rosr.— Sixty  AIixitk-s  :" (P^u   ri»:^.   };.>:!,.■„„   p...t.-r  t..,>rfu-s  up  OUi 

Oi'nf^-^ /'iron rile  corn,  ami  rnalta  o^.'\ 
Old  Gent,    "  Ph— o— o — o— o —  I  " 


MLlfflll 


Bs rometri  ca  I . 

Draper.    'Licnr  SiMslEr.  Dutis?    Yi;s  M'm.     SmUi  a  crrvx  manv  the  last  few  iiavs,  Mm,  iuk  Wi.athfi:  iiavjs    i:i»i  \ 

rttuyt  A  Fr.i".>Tii  MKi;tN^>  to  a  Ciikxadink  !  " 
14 


A  Fa m  ily  Man. 


Cabby.    "Vr,  I'm  a  F.  riiKU  of  a  Fasi'ly  mvsi:ij,   Mi-m,— kot  so  'andsomk  as  Y(iru  littlb  Dkai:s,.  Mum,  I  i>o.\*r  say,— an'  D*Ynu 
THINK  I'd  t;o  fur  to  ovkhi'Iiakok  r<»i:  'km?    Not  I,  Mtu  !    Not  a  Sixpkncb,  nnuss  their  little  'eai'.ts  !"  &c.,  &c. 

\Chxi>n  allowed. 


Unconscionable. 


A    N a rcoti c 


Head  of  the  Firm.  ■■\V\m    \  ll.n.n.w  !  /  Wnv.  vcf 'vr.  Ji'sr  iiEKx^AT  HoKr. 
1 1 1.  till:  A  MiiN'i'ii !" 


15 


Doctor.    ■■I.MUk  m:;;|-.  Ml:-,    M.C  wvi.l.l..    Jt-.Ni    i.|\  i;' him'anV  .Mni:i;  Pinsir- 
A  soi'Mt  Sr.i:i:i-  wim.  im  iiim  Mni:r.  Gn.ni  TirAX  AsvririNo." 

Gudewife.   "K-ir.  Doi-ruoi:.  if  \<v.  tini.i'  i'm.y  Ciit  iiim  tai;  tiii;  Kiiik  : ! 


The     Connoisseur. 

Host  {smncX'iH'j  his  /ii~i).     "TllKliK.   ^IV    IJov,    Wrt.vi    Ho  \ov  'i'lIINK  OX  TIIAr? 

1  iiK.LciHr  I'n  <:ivE  V'tr  a  Tkkat.    That's  'H  I'ukx.  Silt!" 
Quest.    "Ah!  asd  a  vki:y   su'k,  .^il'Si*  Wine,  I  »iijl*li>  sav  !     I  H::t.iKVK 

it's  liUITK   AS  CuOU  AS  SuMK    1    i;A\  B  Si*.    FOIl  TIIK  UTIIKK   DaV." 


Awf  u  i      Wa  rn  t  ng  ! 

Guest  \iU   at;/  t.'oinptttiy  Diuncr.)   **  1 'm   I-NcOJIUuSI.Y   IllJSfir.v!" 
Ancient  Uveryman  {icith  fecliivj).   "Takk   Cauk.  my   dkar  Sir,  ror.  Guou- 
Nh;ss'  Sakk,  takk  Cake!    D'  yoi-    know  ir   ]lAE-rp.NEi>  to  me  at  tiik  last 

I^IKO    MaYDK's    DixMKU    to     UflES     MY    TOSOUK     Wirii     MY     FIIUT    Sl-04iNrL'L  or 

Cl-EAIl    TrilTLE;    VoNMKQVENCE     %VAS (sM/As)— 'COL'I.DS't     TasTR     AT    ALI.— .iSV- 

TIIINC— FOK  TUi:   KK.ST  OF  THE   EvESISG  !  !  " 


The    Sausage    Machine, 


le 


r  Jin^Uf).     "0     l    V'    II.F-ASK,     M,    SO   WOXPKi;  THE    FlAVIOUU  o"   THEM    SA-^tKNliKllS    WASST   TO-RICHT^,    'M,    wniCH    I'VE   JMT    .VOW 
KETIHED   MwTEIt  ALFRED  A  CiriTIS'    JUS    'CaVEMUMI'    IN    THE   MACHINE  I  " 


Just     in     Time. 

Veteran  FiEcator.    "  ITiiCir  !  iitT  viin's^  a  SIrcuLi;  Fi>ll  l.oi:rix'  .must   ,mk:" (/(   irus  liirhj  lie   huknl  rnmdl—h:s  Friend 

fma   Lmuhm-    litnl'  j  rrfci  red  SkMiinij   mi    Ihr  Jl.iuh,  Jiml  xtiniil.lnl  mn    a  JJoiildcr,  irnil   "Gonrn  Hrmlir''  into  a  drr-jt  hole,     lie  m,.<. 
g„ff,d  III  his  liiKl  kick!) 


Words    and     Weights, 


Anffler.    "  Dkitkd  nun,  DoN'Ai.li,  1  can't  u|.;i  a  Fimii  ovku  Si;vi;n'  I'ui'nd.s,  wims  tiiky  h\y  Majit.  Grant  aIjove  us  Klt.l.Ki> 

II.VLf  A   llDZliS   LAST  WbBK  THAT  TUKSED  TwM.NTV  TouSIW  Al'IIiCE*" 

Donald.    "Awkki..  Siit,  n\  no  thai'  MrtKM:  oinw  i'th'  SAWitriN,  — iili   iuaf.  Fowic  it  thk  \V\rrKi!  !•;  iiii:i:ci:  Ltn.vii.s  than 

WK  AKK  I>OON   IIKIIK.'" 

17 


Mai  Apropos. 


Rector  s  "Wife.    **  \Vi:r  i .   Vi  \  \v.\  i  -.  ui.w  Ot>  YoV  niiNK  we  Soi.u  the  Jer>ly  Cow  »  " 

Venables   .y-r-'t»,..>  "  Wki.i,  Mm,   Masteu  Bvi.cs  has  cot  TiiK  BerrKi:  i-'  wi:  a  masy  Time.s  nvr-{j>iviullti!- 


I    riii.NK  .\>  WK  a"  !■.■>(-,  lit 


.  Tri:N 


[**.V»  iitrlirtinU—aml  Ik/otc  the  Ardulcacon,  Vx 


'A  Slip   o'  the    Tongue." 


Tachtlnr  Biped.    "Then  vmu'll  Iam>k  I's  vr  at  ri:i«i;"SK    ju.  T' 

Kew  Acqn&intance  (genthmnultf  v\(ni\.    "On,  Yi>— nkaii  tiik   'Zou,'   ihs'i 

IT*        W'f.    lUTf.N    I'lli'l'    IS     AM>    MWV     \     l..roi:      \l      Mil      M..^k^^v'■* 


18 


Confession    in   Confusion. 

Prieat.    "  Now,  nai,  me,  I)uoi-\n,  Tr.VTiiPi:i.i.Y,  how  often  />o  you  <;o  t 

rHAI'KI,!" 

Pat.    "\Vii.i.„Now,  .■.ninK  oi'll  till  yep.   Ktv'r.EXcK  the  Tiicr*.     Faix,  I 

i:0   AS   uFTKN    I   I'aS    AVuIIi!" 


^■-  ^      %Vs| 


The     New    Running     Drill. 

lA    nspcdlul    "iti-ml   to   Jlis   Jtoijal   niijhness   IhctCimmaiukr-iii-'Mc^.) 
Captain  Bluai;d,  as  he  appeared  ix  Command  of  his  Company. 


Our    Military    Manoeuvres. 

Irish  Drm.Eergcant  ('.  f,,.m(  of  miUc.ma,).  "PnV.sT  'Rrms  !"-M»;»..Mo.!,  ,r.„.H.)-"  H.Vns  !  what  a  ■Pnls.Nl'!    J.sr  sr,,- 

OUT  HEIIE  SOW,   an'  LOOK   AT  TFIiSIl  \  Iv<  '.  1   " 

i9 


Th  e     Race    not    yet     E  xt  i  n  c  t . 


Country  Excursionist  0"'''   I'oulal  ai    G.     II'.    7rr}niiius).    "Coii.n    \ov    isfokm    me   what    tiikse    'kiii;    IU'sm^s   ciiai;<;k   fj:um 

1'.M>I>IM;I»»N    IM   THE   I'.ANK.'" 

Sundreary  {uUh  tin  f^*^v().  "Au-H,  i-o'  m'Soui^  irAVKN'r  an  Idka -ii  !  Nivki:  wopk  'n  onk  in*  m'I^ife  I  Si:ni:Ln  say  a  mkre 
Twin.r. :  r'«AVJi  A  SiiiLMNc,  OP.  Two  Sjiii.dncs.  'Dont  think  the  Wascaijs  coi-i.n  have  tok  t'oNsciKNt-R  td  ciiAitCE  voir  mouk 
THAN  Thwkf.  Siiii.i.inos:     '\Viu:i.iin't  I'av  Mciii;  THAN  Fui'ii !     I'll  si;k  'em  at  tiif.  I)-l>-lloM.(i(  rt: :  " 


A     DHemm& . 

Party  {umrouir  hy  thr  htut  of  the  ^Tm/Arr),      '*  HuY  1     Car  !  " 
Driver.  "Ai.L  Rieiir.  Sii*^  ir  you'll  ji'st  Walk  to  tiik  tiATK.'" 
Party.   "0,  IWniF.n  !    AValkino  to  'Oate  I  " 

Driver.  "Wki.i.,  Sii:,  if  vm-  can't  cet  tiirovcu,  I  ijok't  tKE  in-w  I  ian 
ckt  ovk:  :" 

20 


Adjustment 


Bootmaker  (fAn  has  a  dral  of  irouUt   trilh   (fiin  Cusfomer),  "1  think,  Sin, 

IF  VuU  WKi:E  TO   t'lT   YOl'lJ    t'OUNH,  I   COl'Lll   llOUE   E^VSILY   FISIJ   YOV  A  VmH *' 

Choleric  Old  Gentleman.  'Trr  my  Cokns,  Sir. !— I  Aii^K  you  to  Fit  me  a 
Taii:  !•*  IVi'fs  TO  Mv   Fill.  Sii:  :— I  *M   not  i;oin«  TO  Plane  wv  Fekt  iwvin 

Ti>   Ktr  Yiu  i:   lloors  '.'.'." 


A     Mine     of     Speculation. 


Dealer  [fu  JVarerini  Cm'oiiwr).   "WtLi-,  "tF  C'l'i  r.>K  wr.  all  Knuw   iiivi— iiks  cot  'is   iiAD  Ioints  an'  'is  tloiii)  Points;  jjut 

WHAT    I    s\Y    IJ=,   THKltK's    NO    DECEPTION    AHOLT    'iS    RaII    PoISTS— WE     CAN    SeK    'eM.       BVT    \VF.    CAN't    NONE    OF    VH  TKLI.  'OW   MANY 

<:ot)0  r»ii\TS  iir.  M\Y  'avk  till  wv.  comks  Tn  Kxow  "imI!"  [T/ic  '*P(ir!y"  took  time  to  coualdrr. 


oj'OiTi^jJ^ 


''Ar^umentum    ad     Hominem!' 


I " 


l>e&l«r.    "I    KNOW    VtH:    noN'i    MKK    lll.S    'KaD,   and   I    ALLuW    UK   AIN'i    UOi    A    I'Ur.TV    'KaIi;    lUM-    I.OU'— NOW    LOOK   AT  Gl.APSTONr, 
THE  CLEVRRUT  MaN   IN  ALt  BSOlJ^SD  1— ANn  LOOK  AT  'IS  'KaD"'!!! 

21 


Veneration. 

IfOdg«r.   "1  SHALL   Nui    Dine  at  Hume  tu-day,    Ma'am,    but  I'vk   a   Ki:ii:nd    coming  this  Evi:nisg.      If  you  could  Give  vs 

Something  Nice  foe  Sltper " 

Irfindlady  (Lotr  Cfnirch).    "Woi'LD  TOti    ukv.    tui:    IlF.MAiNDKr.    uf    tuk    Colp    TfnKEY— ah   {'/tv!s  a  dclicnci/')—nzn  I    BssLZt- 

BVBBBD,    Sir..'" 


A      Soft     Answer. 

Irascible  Old  Qent.   "Waiiki:!     THl^  Tlaik  v-  t^riiK  t'»iLh!" 
Wftiter.   ■■  Yr>.*iit,  blt  the  THur  is  "ui.  Sin.  WHirii  ]  thivk  v»h  *li.  find 
it'll  Wakm  I'p  rHF.  ViJiXv.  nicely,  Si::  '' 


22 


Old   Gent  ^ilis-ju.Ktiil 
i-ii  1  vit  IN  TKln  <.'lt<tl'; " 

Walter  {,tHpi*"»ih,).  "  Yk^-i 
Slit!" 


Seasonable     Luxury. 

"|Ih:k,  Waiiku!     Uki;k>    a— iikke'i*   a— a— rATKii- 


Awitr  lilt:  TiMK  u'  Yk.vi:  f«<k  "i  m  jusr  ni"w. 


bducation  ! 

Papa  (improvhig  (he  occmtion  nt  J.ioicfiei.ii).    "Xow,  T,coK,  Hakuy,  the  cii:- 

f  I'MFKltKKCK   OF-  TIUS    CaKK    IS    1-XJUAL   TO    AllOVT    TIIISKK    TIMKS    TIIK    IHAMKTEU. 
ASV " 

Bairy.   "On,  then.  Pa',  i.icr  me  ham;  tiik  <  Viy.F'i:i:xi  r  fou  my  SiiAitV" 


Cricket  ' 


tTncle.  "Well,  Tom,  and  what  uavk  vuu  I>oxk  is  Ckicket  thi>  II.u.f?"* 
Tom.    "Oh,  blesx  vol*,  Unclr,  wk'vk  bkkx  'nowhkiek,'  this  Si;\si.\  :  m.l 

OUR   BEST    'MKN,'  you    KNOW,    WKI'.E   DoW.S    WIIH    IIIK   MHASLBi:-.' " 


Treacherous     Co  nfederate 


Uncle  Oeorire  >"/,..  /,/«>  /„,,,  u,u,is>,iii  ih-    Ymunj  I'toiilc  mih  some  ikrci   t.'u,tjuri>iij). 
I  ur.\-  THi;  HAsi'Ki:i[<.im:K. — Woilu  Vmi-  jji;  Si:i!ri:iM;D  tu  FiXV—(Jionia of  lnnjh/(i)~l  hhai.i.  fUuDirr 
iiKUK  WAS  ,si.  OiitiuiNf;  As  TM  otn-.ij  Hi  Takk  Vwa: 

£3 


*  Now,     LAIiIt:s     AMI     l.l.MI.IMI.V,     \uL     >AkS      Mli 
i.n%v—\div>'i!i  »j  #,....j/i«./— .   o..^....    ...M4>vvK  THK  OUAXCE  Oil'    VouxG  FllirNU 

M)  Ixsinii  wiiicir,  I'vii  so  Dorirr,  ivr.  muall  Fimj  tuk  SiiiLiixof!" 


^^m  it^ts 


Breaking    -the     Ice. 


Sprightly  Lady.   "Mi;.  DnEniKiis,  woi  li.  \ov  OnM<;F,  mi;  with-    - 
Bashful    Curate    (hAo    hnif    srtnrrly    itj.olen    to    /m.«    Fnir    Aet'jKiviir).     "  0, 

cF.r.iAiNLv.     What  sh-ili.  I  have  ti:k  Pi.kam t.k  th  0:tki!  ' " 

Lady.    " A  IIeuai.K  !  !  ' 


The     First     Sermon. 

Aont.  "  Wki.i.,  Dai.sv,  how  viu  vuu  like  'Chitxh'  yestf-bDav  !" 
Daisy.  *'0,  Ai'.sTV,  they  were  all  so  QriET  and   lucked  so  Cr-tiw,   I 

TIIurCMT    i    XVST     a'   8Ca£AMUl  !  !  " 


"Sweet    is    Revenge     Especially    to    Women!" 


CaITAIN  OiLEUY,  «UO  ANNoVt  TItK  MiSh  LaSKYSTEIIS  Ml  MUlll  OK  THE  PliOMKNADE  BY  UI8  OBTUfSIVE  Al.MIRATlOX,  IJ*  PI8- 
O.VF.UKI.  EAllLY  ONE  MoitXIXG,  RY  IMH  EXH.TAST  VllTIMS  IN  THE  A*T  OF  lIAVlSii  AS  "  KaSV  SHAVK  "  IX  THE  W.MEWHAT  MSIITED 
rK»13ll8£S  OF  TIIR   YlLLXUE    FlUAUO. 

24 


^IMliiiiililili 


Desperate     Case  ' 


U.A.  (rnd'-ntmiriny  to  instil  Euclid   into  the  mind  of  Piiratf  Pupil  going  into 
the  Jnivj).  "Now,  IF  THE  Three  Sides  of  tuis  Ti;iaxgle  ai;e  all  EgrAL, 
WHAT  WILL  Happen?" 
I    Pupil  (eon^fidcntly).    "Well,  Sin,    1   shoi'ld    Say   the  Foit.tu    would    be 

EtjUAL,   TOO  !  !  " 


Exch  a  nge 


Toffswell  (iK  fffc  ]Vn.<ihing  Room  at  the  Office,  proceeding  to  dress  for  the  De 
Browncijs  Dinner-Part^).  "  Hullo  !  AVhat  thi:  Doocf. " — (Pulling  oiU,  in 
dismai/y  from  black  hag,  a  pair  of  bhic  flannel  TigfUs,  a  phik  slrij^cd  Jersey,  a)ut 
a  spiked  canvas  Shoe.) — "Confuumi  ir!  Yes  I — I  Mr»T  have  takes  that 
Fellow's  Bag  who  said  he  was  going  to  the  Athleiic  Sfoias  this  Afteu- 
Noox,  AND  he's  got  jiixe  WITH  MY  DitEs.s  Clotues  !  !  " 


A   DePene rave  Son. 


The  Governor  [intU'jnanlhj).  "Oeokge,  I'm  SnMT.isED  AT  Yol' !    I  should  have  THuu'iHT  you  Knew  miriEU  ! 

Is    IT    FOK   THIS    I've    I'AID    IIUNDKEDS  OF   i'OLNDS  lO   OIVE  YOU   AN    USIVKIWITY   KdUCATION,    THAT  YUU    SIIOl'LO " 

Bon  and  Heir  \icilh  rigar).   "Why — what  hwe  I  done,  Goveunop.  ? " 

The  Governor.  "Doxk'    lUiiEo  to  Smom:,  Sir,  while  you  are  DRiSKtS'j  j/r  '31  roRT.'!" 
25 


It's  DisoRAcEKUi, ! 


Lucid ! 


iTlah  Sergeant  ((o  Sijiiad  at  Juitgiag-Dlalinife  Drill).  "Noiv,  ve'll  pat  the  citEATr^T  ok  Aitistiox  to  thk  JIas  at  T.ir.in 

IIU.SUKED  YAltr.DS:     IIK^A^^;,    IF   VK  CA.n't  SEE   'jl,   YE'lL  BE  DECEIVED  IS  HIS  'AlTARANCE  I  !  " 


The  Rid i PQ  Less o  n. 


Rldliic  Kuter  :io  S.i';  .--/.o  «  (,<mUfiiiH.j  hh„>tlj  (■■:   '/.■   /V,y..«'.  <„r..(ry,.   "Il    Vki:  'Kai.  was  ONtv  TLl.SEh  ml.  ..TIlEi:  "  vv. 
What  a  Sn.Ksnin  Chfj*t  ymi'ii  *am:,  Mi:.  n«wiiHit. !" 

26 


Look  before  you  Leap. 


3aiddle-A«ed  Uncle.   "Not  Pr.orosED  TO  HER  YET !    WiiT,  WHAT  A  siiiLLY-sn.VLi.TisG  Fellow  voir  are,  Gedroe  !    You'll 

HAVE  THAT   M  H  LI'.  WllniW  RXAITED  VP  FROM  USDER  TOVR  NosE,    AS  SURE  AS  TOU 'RE  BORX  !    TrETTY  Gal  LIKE  TH.VT— SICE  LITTLE 
PROrEUTY— EVinENTLY   LTKES   YOU — WITH   AX    EST.VTE   IX   THE   HlGHL.VXDS,    TOO,    AXD   YOU   A   SpORTIXO  MaX " 

Nephew.  "An!  th.\t 's  where  it  is,  U.xcie  !    Her  Fishixg's  good,  I  Kxow  ;  but  I'm  xot  so  Sure  about  her  Groxjss!" 


No  Mistake,  this  Time. 

Lodger.   "Dear  mi,   Mi:-^.   f'ltiiiiti.Rs   Yni  i;  Cai '^  RLi'.N  AT  THIS  Mutton 

Ai    \|N  !  " 

Landlady.   "On    xo,  MuM,   IT   CAX'r    RF.  Tlir    Cat.     Mv    Tsdaxd   says   he 
ii'i.iK\  i:-*  it's  the  Coi.lerlauda  Hkeu.e:" 

27 


State   o'  Trade. 


Small  GirL  "Please,  Mri.  l;m!r,M.Tnri;ir,  JIitTilER  says  will  you  Oivb 
HEi:  A  I-ErrfcE  ?" 

Mrs.  O.  "i;iveM  Tei.l  tiiee  Motheii  Civ'um's  nKAn,  axd  Lkkdum 's 
VERY    RAH.     XmUMNK    yi>ir    NoTHiXK    'ei.e,    Axli    l'r.Erlor.«    l.rnLE    for   SlS- 

PESl K  I  1  " 


'mwte 


"Let     Well      Alonei" 

Swell.   "Ah— what's  Toun  Fadb  to  Hampstead  by  tiie— ah— Xew  L.iwM  " 

Cabty.   *'0h,  I  don't  Kxow  xotuin'  'cui"t  no  New  Laws,  Sir  ! — same  Old  Fare,  Sir—'  Leave  it  to  Yof,'  Sir  !" 


al^iUfsCnW 


"  Le  Jeu   n  e  Vaut  pas  la  Chandelle.' 

oil  0«nt   7,111.17  had  la  lutj  (ic.Tl,    "UlT   I  'M   lo-ilTlvt   1    II  AN  DSD  VJU    TUJ   MoXFV  I      ll    >1  »V    lUi,u»'IIV   HI  Hi  HUOIIXD  BOWS 
Tim   >1.1T   IN    llIK    Itoul:  :  ■' 

Conductor.  ■  Slu  in  the  Dour  :— Well,  'iain't  usilv  I  m  tois'  10  Ttr.N  tuk  But  ii>ii.e1"iwx  foh  SJiL'txiit:" 
28 


■ '  T  h  0 '     L  0  st;    to     ^  I  g  n  t " 

Aunt  Jemima  (Jrom  'U  couninj^hcr  Jirst  experience  of. a  "  J/ansoiu").    "  HoY  !   Hoy  !   Stop  the  Hniti^K  '    Wheuk's  teie  Cuachman  ' 


Precise. 


Driver  {imjxitietU).   "Now,   liiLL,  what's'it  ALL  aboutI" 

Conductor.  "Ge'tlemas  wants  to  de  put  down  at  No.  20  A  in  C'lakixodus  Squailk,  vvat  Portico  ox  the  IliniiT  aktek 
YOU  PASS  the  'Ked  Lion,'  private  Entrance  hounu  the  Corner;" 

Driver.  "0,  certainly!  Ask  the  Ge'tleman  if  wk  shall  Drive  I'p-staikm,  an"  set  'm  nows  at  "is  Bed-Kuum  Dol>r  in 
THE  Three-Pair  Back  V 

29 


An     ExtensivQ  Order. 

"O,    ri.r-\BF.,    Ml--f!,    WIl.I,   VOr    give    TS    two    'A'i'KNMM    FOIt    a    rENNV,    ANl> 

iii'  ME  A  DniNK  o'  Watkii,  an'  tku.  is  tiik  Biuiit  Timk?     As'  Father 

WAXTif   A    PlI'E  ;   AND   LEND   MOTIIEII   VEsTKIiUAV's    'TlZF.R."  '  !  ! 


"No    such     Luck." 

Toung:  Lady.  "Is  ir  IIi'Ncnv,  then?  C'iime  ai.ono,  i.title  Darling,  it 
SHAM.  UWK  irs  Dinsei:." 

Street-Sweeper  {ovcrfu-^rhu/,  and  misa}>j>lyiiig).  "Heuf  Y'Anr,  Miss  I  Right 
Yiif  Ai:K  :     1  JfNT  AM  !  "  [Ah.'  biU  U  vat  Fuio  she  was  xpfnli'ng  to.' 


O  Kjjt   ))  T0\' 


"'Tis    Better   not    to    Kno\^:' 

Impudent  Boy  {gnvmlUj).    "Ti:y  yki:  WKiniiT— om.v  a  Penny  !  '      {To  Ltnht  «;/  <vn'.>i"Uifiti(/  ju-opiriiviix  /w  pnrih:»f.tr,\      ■' Tei.i.  vku 

'xAtT  Weight  to  a  IIoiscf,  Mim  ;" 
30 


Vested   Interests. 

Sweeper     "  Ir  vof  wn'i  ckt  off  mv  Ckusmn',  rci.    ev  voi-i:  KfMr.E:: 


"C/Jaff 

Anple-Stall  Keeper  (/..  //..    &.;/-.    ">'"«.    ""■'•.    ""•>'    •"■'•   ^'"^'  ''■*''■'''• 
•     \Vii   T  ri"  v.. I-  Wam  •■■  Street  Boy.    "Nothin'." 

Apple-Stall  Keeper.    "TuRX  Takk  it,  axI)  m  Off!'' 

•  VkKY    Wk.I.I.  :   WllAV    IT    IT    FOV.    IS    IS    A    VlH  E    i.'    TaVKI!:   ' 


"/,y  /t  Possible  ?i" 

SweU  i;«;».-.«5  yuK""'   ift"'"-r  V   J/...."/"rf"ri>.,   CV,,/,r).    "You  SHOULP 

,iw.vY»-Aii— Toriii  yiiuii  Hat  to  a  Gentleman " 

Factory  Lad.    "  ri.KAsF,  SlK,  I   wns'T  Know  as  tf.k  was  one!!" 


Street  ^oy. 


31 


A      Panic      in     "the     Kitchen. 
Facetioua  Pare.   "  Xuw,  Tiiiix,  heue's  the  Cknsis,  an'd  JIastki:  's  <ti:iiEUED  me  to  Fill  ir  tT.     I've  put  down  youti  Acks 

WITHIN    A   YkaU   OU   »^0,    AND   YOU  '  RE  TO    'itKTlKS'    VOl'lt    FoLLEURItS,    IF    ASX,    HOW    MANV,    AND    STATE     '  P'LICE    Ott  MILITARY,'    FEES 

AND  Tips  fhom  Tiai>ESME\  and  Wisitoks  '  i-eu  Ann.,'  I'iike  u'  KirrHEN-STiKK,  Average  o'  Bueakages  ic,  kc." 


(^,,^j;,|j|l„,,:  „.:,.;;,., r 


■,  v:i  i'ji:(i;iii'iii.,;;.,' 


Proof  Positi\/e. 

MUtnu.    "Vcllr.  ClIABAl-TliK  18  SaTI^FACTOUV,    llir  I'M  VI;l:V  rAKTIl lUli   ABOll    ONE   rillXU  :    1   HIMl    \1V  SEr.VAXT.N  Tu   IIAVi: 
J'Lt.STY,   III'T   I   IKiN'r  ALLOW  ANY  WaRTE." 

Pace.  "Oh,  xo,  'M,  wkicu  I'd  Eat  asd  Uiiixk  till  I  Bunrti),    Jl,  uatmeii  hias  Waste  vnvtjiisk,    M  : :' 
32 


"Qualifications." 


Painter   iir/io   hns  ohnn/s  hrrn   njuhifiniis  i./   "  uiiliiuj  hinisrfj   t!o"ii   'ut    If..l.').    "TiliSK    IMKY    MiciiT    itAVi:    i.l.r.rTi:n    Mr.    IIAVINO 
KxinillTKIl   AND   HAD   MY    KaMK   VOWS   MA.  TIU-SK  YkaKS  .'      I    MIOllT  HAVE " 

Friend  {.Vn.i  t'  tin-  jrwlf/).  "My  dkaii   Fkllow,  I'vk  always  told  vor,  you   kun't   no  the  Ricitt  Way  to  W'w.k.     Votj  see 
i|iF,Y  COULD  I'VJ.Y  Er  KtT  V"C  vou  Youu  rAiNTixn,  Fou >vuY  DO  YOU  ^v^:AU  suiii  Thick  IJuurs  *  I  !" 


Tem  p  t  at  i  o  n  . 


Painter.  "Yor  dox't  mi:\\"  ti»  Say  yku  want  Mk  tu  Sicn  it,  \viiiis  I  tell 
YOU  I  DID  NOT  Paint  it?    Asd  a  Hkahtly  Cui-y  it  is  tuo  ! " 

Pioture-Dealer.  '*  Vv  not.  r.our  Siu?  VT  xorl  Trr !  tit!  rvT  *  I  only 
visH  you  Ar.ris's  mw  Mi:n*  »v  Il(^'^■^>s!" 


33 


"Spoil  in^  1 1' 


Lord  Dabbley.   "Wa-ai„   Stkeaky,   why   I  vk  hkaki)— ah— y<>v 'rk  not 

COIXO  to— (J/fTICXJfj  — HAVK  A    ThT-YAR   AT  THE    KXIIIIIITION  !  " 

Streaky,  B. A.   "Haw,  vkky  j-iionAUiA'  Sot.  m'1/>ud.    AVni.i.,   I   timxk   it 

,,M,Y— AH  — CrtArMfUT.,  M"UH{I»,  WK  SHOILH  nCi'AMONAI.I.Y  KimrRO  r)UK  riEIVlLEGKD 
M'AfE  Foi;  TUK  bake  OK  Ol'li  YOUXCF.U  TAIN TCltS— AH  !  Ur.SIUFW— I  QUESTION 
ir    I    SHAI.I.    HE   AIir.K  TO   FINtsH    MY   I'UIU.IC   Poi:Ti:An;>    IN  TIMK  THIS  VK-AR  ! " 


Particular'  " 

Tourg  Mumford  I'tinhj,  Imi-i.i'j  h<t>i>'   (iioi   ii-    Ltiti;  ,.,„■':•,   i,o.„  lus  jurt  u/  f/o-  coitu.'i-ir-.   "Diss.w  vor  know   iirr  CmwhtY". 

<  K  r.ii.'  iir^iKi;  '— AwFVi.LY  Jolly  PeoI'le  !     I " 

Eauehty  Beauty.   "Oil  no,  we  only  vi-^it  tiiv  r,.i  mv  F»Mtt  h  ^.   ami  we  JI'sed  them  !  I" 

[I/rr  ptrfiirr  iris/ir.t  t/iis    '*  ftrtt   Sft"   iras   **  The  L"iiit;\    ' 


V/v/fyin^  Treatment  O'f  a  Partner. 


(A    Tmijehj  of  //«■  /""'  J/anvjnU   ItttMu.) 

Young  Lady  {tv    Pnrliirr,   inxf'iHtbj  mi  thrir  (alia>j  fhn'r   rhcfx)     "  KoW I'VK  liElS    To    r.iiNTAiN^   Alil:KY,   AND  TO  HoiTON, 

ANu  I've  sKh.N  the  Riumiiam  Kikks,  and  thk  J^koitinc  "Wkii,  am*  the  View  vnoji  the  Ocsekvatohv,  anh  vk  iiau  a  JIoiiNrNc; 

IN    YonK    MlN^TEI!,    AXI»  \VK   HAVE  IIERX   HKI:K  A    FnllTNICJHT,    ASP  WK    AKE    COISi!    TO   StAV    ASOTIIKIl,    ANU     TaTA    IAKKS  THE  (.'HAI.V- 
i:KATE   \VATrt>.    ,\Nli    I    AH    VEKY    V.\.SU  THE  (  AVA1,I;Y    At  E  luVINT.      -Vt.r    Mil    MAY    BECIN   (  ONYEIISAIInN." 

[I'tUr  Coltu}Sr  iif  r»ir!Hr,. 

34 


Arbiter  Ele^ani'iarum. 


Hoasemaid.    "  i>ii,   i•l.F_\^^■..    'J[,   » in  in  I    iii-   ..n    iiiiis   EvKMNt;  >   "i-aisi! 
Cook  kex"  I>'».il  ">  njy  a  •  I^^nijaue  o'  Fi/i"'i.::s  Ukk,"  and  mik's  uiiQUKiTKK 

ME  TO   DE  ONK  o'    IIIK  Jl'DULS  !  " 


"The  Serve  fits." 

Cook.    "TiiKN,  MtAi.i,  V(n;  go  as  'Oi  semaih  ' "' 

Young  Person.    •' Nu,  inukkh!     If  I  cm  ai  ail,   I  c;o  as  T.auy  'Ei.r! 


"  Ha  rd  L  ines'.' 


BElatrus  Ho  farmer  Cook).    *' Wk.li,  Eliza,  what  ahf.  Vou  rois<i  nuv%  f" 

Ex>Cook.   "  W'Ki.r.,  SIiM,  as  vou  woi'i.un'i  i;ivf  mk  nu  (.'iiauaci  F.i:,  \'\i-  v.v.i.s  (1;I-m;i.i»  ii)  Macuv  a  tfiji.iiiiiii 


33 


"Wot  to  Put  too  Fine  a  Point   on  It." 

Trsnaatlantio  Party.    "Look   'khe,  W^iieh:    t iiaske  this  Kmfe  ror.  a 

Ptvl  llATET..      StkaMEK    and    me    All:    ox    MFFEnrST    Pl-nFOnjIS,    AXU  I   MICHT 
BtRT  HIM." 


^Jl-         -    i 


'Never  Say  'Die" 


Nephew.    ".Sn:F.  IT  isn't  Ooft,  L'nclf.?" 

Uncle.    "O'iit!    .^Iiitvff  as'  Nonshensii  !    KoT  A  bit  or  it!    No,  Fact 

I-;— rilEW— ((r/.«r«)  TIIF£K  CON-FOVKDEIi   ItOOTUAKEF.S — THEV  MAKE  VOFR  IJOOW 

0  TioHi::" 


"Jngenuas    D  i  d  i  cj  sse"  3c. 
Vrbana  Forelner.   "The— aii-Contemiutiox  of  these— ah— Relics  of  AxcinNT  .\r.T  in  the  Oauieries  of  Emoif,  must  te 

MOiT  iNT'r.'.-TINr.  TO  THE— AH— EdL-CATEH  AMEP.IrAS:" 

▲merican  Toariat.    "Wa'ai,  nos'r  SEEM  TO  fAr.K  MFrH  Fop.  these  Stoxe  '.'.iLn  s-'MEHow,  .'^TEAXCE^. ! " 
36 


A      Plutocrat, 


mi!  Am  IS  ao   \Vai:m    I    would 


Swell.    *'"D  vou  oiiiiiiK  MR— All— nv  SiiLniNt;  voi'i:  Wixnow  ?— ah " 

Second  Passenger   (jutli/rly).    "  Ukai.i.y,  Shi,  if  you   wilt,  not   Pkess   ir,  a-j   yoi:i:-S   is   Siif  i 

IL\ini:i:    KKKP   THIS   Oi'KX.      YoU   SEIvM    TO   TAKK  GKtAT   CARE  OF  YOURSELF,    SlP- " 

Swell.    '"fAKK  OF  MVsM.f  !    Sh'Ci.u  w  ATM  Eli  TiusK  SO.    So  WOULD  YOU,  Mv  d::\i;  Fei.-i.\h,  II-'  YOU  'd  S:x  Tiiou.svsd  a  VR-Ar.  '  !  " 


'  Matter 


A     Finai     Appeal. 


Portly  Old  SwjU  (o.i  r;xliiij  Prjfcsior  TyniuU's  S^ioch).  "  Dkap.  me!  Is 
IT  ross'iiLB  !  Mosr  'xru'onn'NAHY  ! — {throtct  down  l/ie  Jteview) —that  I  should 
iiAVK  BKKy  oni,;iNvu.Y  A  'riuMo::uiAi,  Atjmic  Gloditle'!!" 


37 


"  N0A\    CKN'ir.KMES    OF    THE    JUUY,    1    THISOW    ,MVSR:,:'    Ul'OS  VOUIL    l.MI'AUII.VL 

Ji;DnM::sT  a-*  Hushaxii.'*  asd  F.vtiikih,  and  I  uonfidrsti.y  ask,  Dobs  tub 
rmsosKii  i,oo:c  likb  a  Man  who  would  Knock  down  and  TiiAMi'f.K  mi-on 
TUB  Wife  of  his  Uis3.m  ?    Gbntlemkn*,  I  have  dune!" 


Division  of  Labor, 

Facetious  Volunteer  Sub.    "Look  iJKr;K,  Caitain  ;   I'm  iiuk.d  ok  ritiN  Fi  v.     I>o  \"i    minp  i..ukim.  ahf.i:  iiik  Mia  wiiii 

1    0'»    AM<   V.rn   TAKKV    PlMSoNKR  ? '* 


~_^,2^i'  >^>\;  f/f^^^'S^'^'  ^ 


'^^A/".^''  ^""'^v-'-^-^^./- 


..x^ 


Off.' 


B*re«ant  0'L««ry.    'Hoiulk:    I.t.n  ;    llii.irr !    AVmr    rici    IlLAity,   r.vi    Kiium:v,  r.'vi    m\m    i>v   kc.i    Duiniis'  wii.  iuk 
SwAu : .'  ■ 

Pat.    "Sliri:n,  SEKttAXT,   'xwv^x'r  a  f.mi:  Stai:t  r  ' 
38 


"Where  1 0 norance  Is  Bl Iss"  &c. 

Prusal  Housewife  ijmn  a.  l„.;jc  FumihjS.  "Q\v,-iXv..Zm.v.V%i.->:\  siil'.  BV  TOE  D.ULV  l'An;i;s  ni.vi    liii,  I'l:"'!;  "i'  M"t  li  i~  Tvixkn 

TlV"rKN<  1.   A    I'lilNIi.       I    IIILNK-  Yiif   CriMEl   Tc'   MAKK  MIMK   liKIUXTrO^    IN   Vofl!   C'lfAKUKS  I  " 

Country  Butcher.  "  \Vl:l:r.v  Siil:l:v,  MlM,   l;i  i   wt;  X«^-S.\  TAKE_lS  so  llAli.v  I'll-i:!-.",  MlM  '  '■  " 


f.  r' 


Comp/fmentary. 


Collier     -tlmul  Ihr  Jiitj).    *'Yv>,    Sli;,    AW    UOT    HIM    fN    M  AN*  IU>I  Ki:,    Y(tM)i:i:, 

,\n'  liii.n.i:   \\v'<  tiiHNi!  r'  AX  VK,  iiKV   v'  u.w  oiuwiinN  Tiv  IB  Namin'  iiim 
MTIIT  r.   ^■|    ' '  ■' 

TounK  Medical  Man  (r«(///..-  {ihrncd).  "  Olt,  1)»:ai:  NO,  liV  AM.  .A[KAys  — 
'don't  KmjU  \Hi>i  I  ij(i:  CuMrt.lllKNT,  TIH*L'<:H,  IIK's  NOT  A  IJKAITV  TO  I.O(»K 
AT  !  " 

Collier.  '-Mi.i-.ntKs  M.r,  D.k  T"U  ;  in  r— Smami  !~JIi  \,  iii:V  \  l!i.' cai:  m 
Kill. !  :  ' 

39 


"(Not)  Thankful  for  Small  Mercies" 

Cat'a-Meat  Man.   "  What  'a  vki:  (;ot  >'ni!  Dinnki:  To-hAV,  h>v.V' 
CroaainK-Sweepor.   "Oir,    \  i!iT    0*   I'mast  WitAt.,  nkm'   mi;  ii- yisuM  Xu.  C 
IN    Tint  l'KF>ti:Nr   "kkk— an'    vkk   wovi.kn't   ii'i.i.kvk    it  !— not   a  MOh-Hia.   o' 
Stii-fin  — .Mf,  an'    not  »*i»   Mri;ii    as  a  Si.n  k  i»'  Lkmhs  ! -am*  ("vV/i  it  s,t'ft) 

c  AI.I.S  iiitiKNKLV.Ks  l;iM'i:i  I'lii.i:  ri.on.i;,  1  ^  i    nm  ihiihi  ''" 


''i.lll 


i't'"""i|i:'*l1!3'ifl'T'llM!|f|lli!r 


Delicacy 


Edwin  (.nMc  Srimal  ,V /«■«-«().  "  Ah- r'tTTAV  SEP.— Alt— lils.vnoiMAV  BK  XK  ias  vuo  vwoue  a  la  Rikk  ck  Mattasc:— rouii- 

jw>\v  EsKKl; !"  Angelina.  "All  »Kb,  5IAIS  MosiMosc ' 

Parlonr-Xald.  "  Ht;>i  1    IlK".  V"ir.  PAnniiX,  His.*  ;  bit  I  rxnF.ii.-TAsn  tiik  I.AM;viDr.E  I '" 


"The    Servants." 


Mistmi.    "J.I.NK,   TE-.l.  C.WX   I'LI.  C.>;43  ons    ASP    SE3  WUAr    >11F.  WA-.TN    DWS   To   lH.iI   STOVF,    AS  THB   nilLia-.'j  COJIIXS 
TO-MOHROW." 

Jue.   "O,  ri.E.v»E,  'iM,  1  iiMN'r  tiii\k  in;  can  A-tr  vou  isto  the  KlTrHi.vt.  Tu  Day.  Mum,  .«  Cook  a-.d  mk's  i:ot  a  Sm.-.li. 

AND   Eahly   'at  Ojit'  IIIH   AnK(:NtH»N,    ill'Ml" 
4D 


r-\5- 


Retributive  J  u  si  ice. 

Fanner  (yiviu'j   the    Culprit   ft    I!o.r   o'    ///-•    I'-tr).     "  IIn\v    daisf,    you    IIkat 

TBOSE  GoStlNS,    YOU    YOUNG    RascAL  ?      1    SAW   YUU  I  " 

Boy.    "Boo,  00,   oo,   WHAT  Fi'i:i:'u  ihey  Goks-ciitcks  Fkytiiei:  iioitk  i)r 

-iHEN   FURU?!"' 


"By  the   Card." 


Pedestrian.    "  H"\v  iai;  is  ii   to  Si.unGKCOMBE,  Boy?" 

Boy.  '"Why  "nour  twicnty  "undeimj  tiieausas'  Mild  'f  \'  goo  's  y'aiib 
\GaoiN'  Now,  an'  "iiouT  Hai.f  a  Milu  'f  you  rui;N  kigut  reaousd  an'  goo 
t'  oiHEi:  WAY  !  : " 


In    Jeopardy. 


The  new  Boy  was  enjoined  to  tif.  very  CAr.BtUL  now  »k  cA^itiED  the  FinDi,K-CAsr.— "By  nn:  li\xin.K,  and  to  mind  not  to 
Knock  it  against  anything!"  Imagine  the  Honnou  of  Mr.  Pitsey  Cartkii,  iiis  Mastki:,  who  was  following,  to  uosui  uroN  the 
Rarlal,  with  the  Invaluable  "Josemi  "  ox  ni8  IIiud,  RxncVTiNO  a  I'as-Skul  uveii  a  Sku'I'Isg-Uoi'I';  :  !  V 

41 


leresy 


Uamma.    "Yuu  know  wko  BriLT  the  Ark,  GeorckT" 
0«orB«  {promptly\    "Noah,  *ilA.  " 


Mamma.    "And  vteat  did  he  Bvilu  it  for?" 

Qeorff«  {iluhiovaly\   "For.  little  Boys  to  Plat  with,  "IIa!! 


"Oh,     the     Mistletoe     Bough!" 

Or6«nBTocer,  Jun.  iOt  tcfnm  t/tir  LUth  Fiiaul  in  Velrtt  had  a):yUct  for  a  piec^  of  Mi$thtoe  for  his  ctni  prirate  divenioni.    "  I  \  i: 

COT    TEH    a     bit,    MaSTF.R    GeOCGE.       It    AIn'T    A    VKUT    EIG    PlECE,    BIT    TIII:ke'S    LOTS    o'    ReHLIES   OS    IT;    ^.v"    IT's    THS    BERIilBS    .1^ 

42 


Culture     for     the     Workin<>     Classes. 

Philanthropic  Employer  {who  Juis  jxiid  his   Workpeople's  c;t}>fnxs  to  n  Hciyhi/ouring  Fii'-Aii  ErMibilLoif).   "Well,  JoHSson,  what  i»i]» 

YOU    THINK    OK   IT?      TlCK    VP  AX    IDEA  OK  TWO?" 

Foreman.  "  Wei.i,  tep.  see.  Sib,  it  were  a  this  Wat.     Wbex  rs  oot  tiieki:,  wj;  wan  a  cossiuekis"  what  was  best  to  be 

no.SE,    so   WK  APP'lNTED  A   DePPERTATIOS   o'   ThP.EE    ON    US    TO    SEE   WHAT    IT  WEP.E  LIKE  *,  Un'   WIIEV    TIIF.Y    COME    OUT    AN*    SAID   IT  WEUE 
OXLV    PhtXRS    an'    sUfll,    WE    TUOUGHT     IT    A    PITY    TO    SPEXD    Ol'K    ShII.LISs    OS    'EM.      Sh    WK  WEST    TO    THE    TeA-GaP.DESs,    AND  WEtlY  ] 

Pleasant  rr  wkp.r,  too.     Thask  yep.  kindly.  Sir!" 


A     Casual     Acquaintance 

West-End  Man  {ntlrlrfMin(j,  as  he  supposes,  JniKHigciU  Mec'ianie).  "Cas  YOU 
DiRK.rr    me    l"   THE    MOOBCATK  STI'.EET   STATION?" 

Seedy  Party.  "Mo'roate  Siheet  Statios,  Sin  t  Stiiaight  on,  Sin,  fust 
Tuiimn"  t'  the  Right,  and  jt 's  jist  opfosyte.  And  now,  you've  inter- 
inKK  Ell  riiE  Subject,  Sir,  if  vou  could  Assist  me  with  a  Triple,  Sik, 
wiiiiH  I've   ao  sothin'  to  Eat  since  last  Friday- — " 

IfVest-End  Man  not  having  an  anstccr  ready,  fcrks  out,  ami  exit. 

43 


.■ef? 


"  C  i  rc  'J  rr  I  oc  uto  ry  !  " 


Polite  CoBter  {seeijuj  STnoke  issuituj  from  Ilnm'n'.s  ivit-jtocl'-t).   '*  Vuu'li.  e.vcusk 

ME  ALII'KKSSIN'   o'    YOU,    SiR,— CoMMUS    MaS    IS    A    MANNEP.  u'   SPEAKIX'— OES'l.E- 

MAN  LIKE  vur,  Sir— BEntjis"  Pardon  for  takjs'  the  Lihertv,  which  I  should 

NEVER  a'  TnoL'GHT  o'  DOIN'  UNDER  ORDINAKY  SUCCUM»TANl*E»*,  SiR,  OX'Y  VOU 
didn't  seem  TO  »E  AWARE  ON  IT,  RUT  IT  STRUCK  5IK  AS  I  SEE  YOV  A  GOIS 
ALONO,    A8   YOU   WERE  A-FIKE.  SiR  !  " 

lliij  this  time  Brown's  right  eoat-tail  icas  aittrehj  eviisumnl.     ///»  ficets 
had  igiiitcd  by  jtrivatc  arrangeutatU  amoiut  fhnuselrrs. 


AJa  rm  i  n^ . 


Buttons  (Vm  he  bunt  intj  his  Master's  rcHi  oh  tJii-  uijlit  »/  H'tdntSflttj,  t/ic  7th:  he  had  Ji:st  sctn  that  icoiuier/ui  shocLitg  ttar).  *'0u, 
PLEA«K,  Sn:,   riiKM  AtETium;  is  a  koin'  off  ag'is  ! ! " 

Scientific  Old  Ocnt  \\t»rthd  out  of  his  Jtrst  slrtp,  and  uiisimdersta}idin3  the  infe'ligcnce)i  "Oil '— F,:i  I— weat!— TrrN  IT  OFF  at  ttie 
JH.tt.x/!" 


We/^hts  and  Measures. 


vihi',1  irirh  int.f/iijrnf  Pawiffffr,  irhom 
'XoW,  WUAT  8IIUL'M>  VOL'  IIIINK  WAS 


Valet udinarUn  [i.i  tin   .,.,ir\-   ot  (■<•„>:. 

hr   tnl.M  /..  /-■   ,1    J/i,j„H,f,y  ,/  f/ir   ihinxh,. 

IIT  WkiuiitI" 

Oentlemaji  in  BUck.  '*  Wkli,  Sin— i.kt  mk  jsf.f.— you  *tand  Anorr  Fivk 
Fkei  Ki.k\en,  Tiiiinv  I>tiii;-*  mi;,  v^  CiirAT,  and  we'i.1.  s\y  Elevkv  I.sriics 
DBB»- WKM.,  I  MiMri.n  v\v,  >-i-(:aki\(:  at  kaniom,  Yor  wufLii  'Lirr'  at 
AtouT  tLi-VLN  ijiis'  AMI  'I"iii:r:t:  '.'i  m;h:i;-.  ■  " 


"Small  Mercies.*' 

First  Jolly  Angler  ;«r.M    'iwyj/f/  Vfr*l).    '■  WkLI,  WK'\E  HAD  A  VERT  TLEAKAUT 

l*.\\' '.     M'nM  A  I'lriiiiiTH'L  l*L'r>L'iT  ir  is !  ' 
Second  Diao  (i^i/A  (/t/^).  *'Ci.iH;iotM  I     I   sin^  '    i  -i  .1  i    that  Xiiii;Lt  \v£ 

IIAn   Jl»T   AFTF.Il   Ll'NlU,    AS   L'tSI  AS   I    LIVK;" 

Both.  *'.\ii;r" 


^4 


Tyranny. 

First    Rouffll.    "  Wi;'i:f.    a    oois'    TO    BE    Edgicated    XOvr,    c'Ml-ULSORV,     < 
r.isE  r;o  T'»  IMF,  Ti;F.AriMri.L  !" 
Second  Rou?li.  "All !  No  VrNDEU  so  MANY  I'oon  PEorLE's  A  Ejiichatin' 


A     Perfect     Cure. 

Town    Han.    ''How   Joli.y    if    mfst    nr.    Living    down    nr.nE    ly    the 
CoFNTRV  ! "      Country  Gentleman.     "On,    I   dos't  know.      It's   rather 
Torpid  sort  of  Life;   Time  pa-sses  vekv  Si.owlv."    'Town  Han.   "Time 
PASSES  Slowly  I     You  should  gkt  Somebody  to   Draw  oj  you  at  Tiirke 
Moxths  !  ! " 


In     Consequence    of    the    Tailors'     Strike, 

GEORGE   A.N'D    THE   GOVERNOR    HAVE   THEIR  CLOTHES   M,VD3  AT  DOME. 

Oeorse,   "Ar.E  You  suF.E  YOU  TOOK  MY  RioHT  Measure,  CUARLonEr"       Charlotte.   "Ou,  George,  I'm  sure  it  Fits  Beautifully  I ;" 
43 


"As    Well     as     Can     be     Expected." 


Horsey  Faiiah  Sector  [laU for  the  Mccl),    "Well,  JUotiicu,  and  how's  tolt.  Daichtek,  ..no  the  BAniiv— roonf.v,  i;ii  •    An.  wkli, 

GIVE   HIU    A   PlN'Cil   O'    BUIU&TONE   IN   UIS   PaF,    AND   I'LL   LOOK   IS   TO'UOIEEUW." 


^iil',fktoi«h!teito!i!i| 


Penny     Wise 


Rational  Sohoolmalter  {tjoiuff  rounj  irilA  OoTtrnmmt  iHitjieetvr).    "Wu-KlNs, 
How  no  VOL-  ur.iNo  Siiili.inos  into  I'CNrK  f " 
Pupil.   "  TiEvsr,  Sic,  'lAKis  IT  i^orxu  to  ihb  Pitduc-'Acsk,  Sir:!" 
40 


Reminiscences. 

OoverzieBa.    "Snow  Mil  SMrrilKl::)  Yon:  Nkw  iJotL,  AuA." 
Old  Brstlc.    "All— I,ok'— t>E.\r.v   mk.  Him,  ik  it  ai.st    rim    vkiiy   MoCAt. 
OF  uv  Old  Woman  whks  siik  was  is  hkp.  I*miiK  '  !" 


Cxistomer  {worried  into  it).    "Well,  I  don't  mini>  Taking  a  Small  BorrLE " 

Barber.   "Bktter  'ave  A  Two  Siiillin*  ore,  Sin  ;  it  'olds  Fouu  Times  as  much  as  iiin  otheii " 

Ciutomer  [turning  upon  him).    "0,  THEN  IF  I  take  this  Suilusg  Bottle,  I  shall  dr  Done  out  of  Half  my  Money's  wouth  * 
Then  I  won't  haye  axy!"  [Escapes  in  triumph! 


Distract!  ng. 


Customer.  "Whai  inn  you  think  of  the  Ilisimv'.s  Seumon  on  Sunday, 
Mi:,  W'li.NiiY  ?" 

Hairdresser.  "Wklt.,  p.eallv,  Sir,  jheiie  was  a  Gent  a-sktiin'  in  fuont 
o'  Ml'  AS   Ai.  ir:s  'Air  paiited  that  Crooked  I  couldn't  'ear  a  Word!" 

47 


A      Com  pi  i  ment. 


Hairdresser.   *'Anv  off  tuk  Beaiui,  Sir?" 

Customer.    "No,  thank  you.     I've  lately  TiiiMsiEi)  it  mysel*." 
Hairdresser.    '•  ]si>KED,  SiR  '     I  khould   Kor   have  rilOUfillT    ANY    tiKNTLE- 
MAX   out  of   THE   PROKl'JtSION    COULD   UAYK    DOM:    IP  ^0    WELL  I  !" 


XXX     Cellent     Reasons. 

Frea   and   Indevendent    {lo   imvtrinn)    Elector.    "Yoc    pon't   aiimirf.   nis 

rOLlTICS  ?       TOLITK-S     BE    BLOWED  !       LCOK    AT     IllS     PlJSCtri.E..*  I       TUAT     MaN 
MXVS  llfCE^rs  FivE-AND-TwenTY  Bt'SQKLIi  to  tbe  Hogsuead  ! " 


Sympathy. 

Giles  [rurftiUy).    "ViLLlAM,  I've  bees  an'  cone  as'  'Listed!" 
William.  "  Lok' I  'ave  yeu,  xnoi'uu  T    Got  the  ShillinT' 
Giles.    "Yes." 

WiUlam.      "WeI.1,    T1IE.N-,    lET's    CO    ax'    'AVE  A    Cl_l.«s    .VT    THE    '  P.AE    '.T- 

Mow.'    Don't  let's  be  down'e-vbted  1 " 


Liberal     to     a     Fault. 

The  MlssM  i>/(7W»).    "Mv  'ii8B.\s '8  Out  just  .vow,  Sie.    <as  1  oivE  mil  any  MejuaoeI' 

Liberal  Candidata.   "  An— I  uave  Calico  with  the  Hope  that-au— heu  PuomsE  he  his  Vote  at  the  avproach " 

The  Mia.aa.    "On.  VEs,  SiB.    You're  Cav'm  Bilke,  the  -Yallow.'  1  »'i\)se.  Sir  1     Yi«,  I'm  scre  he'll  be  most  'appt,  Sir!" 

The  Ciptain  {'elighiat).   "Ya-as— I  shall  be  MUCH  Obliged  to  him— asu-au— he  may  pepe-sd  upox  mt " 

The  Uiaaus.  "Yeis  1 'u. scre  he'd  Promise  you  ie  b:  was  at  Home,  Sib;  'clvsz  when  the  Two  'Blue'  Gents  called  and 
as'ew  uim  the  othec  Hat,  Sir,  he  Puosiiked  'em  d'rec'lt,  Sib 'I" 
48 


civil     Service     Miseries. 

Uamma  (icho  his  hccii  Shojtpiuj  ai  Oic  Co-Operative).  "(_:ooD  (JiiAcnus,  Dea?.=;,  what  shall  we  do  wtTa  these  Patxels?' 
Toting'est  Daughter.  "Oh,    Pa'   can  take  the  Large   One,   Ma',   and   he]  might    Caury  some  of  tiif  Small  Ones  in  his 
Pockets!  I"  [Pn',  who  his  been  irailiii'j  oiit.sric,  fo^s  he's  in /or  it. 


"Men     were     Deceivers     Ever." 

SveU  (at  the   Civil  Service   Co-Operative  Store).   "lUw!     I    wast   two    oii 

THWKB    POL'NDS— Bacon— AND— AW— 'dLIOE     >IE     by    DOtSO    IT    VV     LIKK    CoX— 
OlOVES   or   I'lOWERS,    oh  SdMETllING  o"  THAT  SOKT  !  !  " 


49 


A     Sinister     Slip. 

Smith,.  "HrLLo,   liitow.s- !    'Been  von   your  annual  Cullis I   mzxs 

Youu  annual  Excursion,  yet?" 

[Brown  was  hijkly  ncrootis,  ani  Otis  mali-jii  sujjcjitioji  qaii^  upset  him. 
He  spent  ki«  holiday  at  hoiml 


Force    of    Ha  bt  t. 

City  Uerchant  {bliss/uHif  dozhij  i>i  liii  Country  Chuixh).   "Skasos  Tkket  ! 


"A/ma      Mater." 

Youruf  Puiuh(onby  "cuts"  the  Attitf/,  nnd  rfoesh  Oxford  to  read  for  "the 
Chittxh." 

Tutor.     "YOL'       AHK       PliErAUED       10       SuUaCLlUE       TO       THK       Tlllin  Y-JClSE 
AhTICLES " 

Puncheonby  {icith  alacrity).  "All  *Til  tlkask  'mi,— ah— iiuw  Ml*-cu— ." 
60 


Embarras3/njf. 

Nerroua  Spinster  (to  vary  Old  Ifnchrhr).  "Ojr,  Mi:.  >Iai:H!mi.ii,  J 'm  >f> 
^Frigiitksed  !  May  I  takk  iiold  <'K  v-'I-'-  M»v-  "Pim  wi  'rr  <...|\ij 
"hitiioucH  THIS  TvysrxV 


A     Straightforward     Vie 


w 


Sigh  Church  Curata.  "AxD  what  do  you  Think,  Mb.  Simison,  about 
Clergyman's  TrnxiNr,  to  the  East?" 
liiteral  Churchwarden.  "Well.  Sir,  my  Opinion*  is,  that  if  the  Clei:ct 

MAS    IS   GOOI»LOOKIN',    HE    KON'T  WANT    TO    TURN    HIS    BaCK    TO   THE  CONCUEGA- 
TIOS  !  " 


"The     Be-tter     the      Day,"     &c. 

Bnstic  {to  Curat/:  icho  dabbles  in  Photogitijjh y).  "I'd  be  Trnu'cLE  iii'cit 
Obliged,  Zui^  if  y'ov'd  Map  off  my  Pictuu',  Zl-r  T" 

Curate.  "Well,  my  M.\n,  I'll  take  your  Likeness  for  you.  AVur.x  will 
Tou  Come?" 

Bustle.  "Well,  Zur,  if  you've  no  'bjections,  I  be  moastly  Cleaned  vi- 
and HAS  moast  Time  o'  Zund.vy  Marnins,  Zur  1 1 " 


A      Dibtinction. 

The  "Good  Parson'*  (to  ApplKant/or  iHatntciUm  in  the  Kigftt  Sc/tooT).  "Have  you  bkks  Cunfikmeu,  mv  Hoy 

Boy  (hcsitatini/).  "Please,  Sir— I— don't  know " 

Parson.  "You  understand  me;  has  the  Bishop  laid  his  Hands  on  you  I*' 
Boy.  "  Oh,  no.  Sin  ;  dlt  his  Keeper  have,  Sir— very  uften,  Sir  !  1" 


ei 


Considerate. 

ChorcliwaTdfcn.  "Tkll  te  what  'tis,  Smi.    The  Cong&bgation  do  wish  you  wouldn't  tut  that  "eke  Curate  up  is  Pulpit 
— NoBODT  can't  HE.vi:  vs." 

Old  Bportlnff  Rector.  "Well,  Bix^t    "^^^  Fact  is,  Tweedler's  such   a   Good  Fkllow  fob  Parish  Work,  I'm  obliqed  to 

OIVK   HIM   A   MOVXr  SOMETIMES," 


82 


Rustic     Recoileclion5. 

Boy.  "PiT-Asr,  Pa-ai:son,  MuTiii:i:  wants  souk  Soup." 

The  Bector.  "But  I  t«ild  tour  Mothkr  she  must  sksd  SoMExmsn  to  put  it  in.' 

Boy.  "Oh,  iLF-vsit,  siie've  sent  this  year  Pa-ail  vok  'un,  Pa-aesos  1 1" 


Not  ai"Siher     Lining"    to    a        Cloud," 


Adolphus  UjrniuUy ;  he  is  <ja\ni}  Jus /utiirc  brothrr-i,i-?<iiv  a  li'.'k  dUncr  down  Otc  river).    "  \VAiTAIt,  TOU  I'AN — .\H— Leave  us!' 
Old  Waiter.   "Hem  !— Yr^«sin — lct — you'll  Pap.d'n  me,  Sir— wii'vE  so  scant  Oknts— 'don't  wrsn  to  Imitte  nothink,  Sin— di't 
Makxeu— 'Fact  is,  Sin~{fi-i(ieiitli/  feels  n  (kJltmij  nhont  mvutioniivt  //)— wi: 'r.E— you  ski:,  Sik— '^POXf/flLS  for  the  Piaib,  Sir.'/.'" 


"What's    in  a    Name  P" 

Walter  (to  nervous  invtlMl).    "Thi;i:e*s  tiik  old  Ciil-rcii,  Sir,  r:i,o>R  nv, 

BUT   sous    VlSITOns    COES    TO    St.    WoBIlLEOK'f,   SiH.      TlIEllI':    TJIK    Clkhovman 
-RCACQES   DlSTBUPERTl  !" 

[Clearly  vot  the placf  for  him,  the  old  gcntlcitifni  Ihtnkty  n:itft.  a  itluuUlcr. 
B3 


A  New  Dtsh. 

Sympafaislnff  Swell  {wxitinj  for  some  chicken).  "You'vr.  got  so  Si'Ceourb 
rnin'.i;,  TiioM  \->  !  " 

Persplrinjr  Footman.  "  Vnr.v  Souuv,  Sir.— lusr  'KLrF.D  tub  last  or  it 
away,  Sir. ! " 


Our     Artist 

IS  NOT  IX  TUK  DEST  OF  TEMPKrS.     HE  HAS  BEEX  DISTURBED  OFTEX    BY   BARGES.  AXD   DOTHEREU  BV  THE   BI.L'EBOTTLES,  AND  THEK 
IIES  ACCOSTED  EV  WHAT  APPEiRS  TO  HIM  IK  THIS  IRRITABLE  MOOD  TO  BE  AX 

Art-Critic  (/oj.)  "The  rimnE  looks  Ucttek  a  Goodish  Bit  off,  Gov'xoi;ii  : " 

Artllt  (lAodJru-J).    "Cox— rorxD So  lo  Yor,  SlE  :  "  [rmiti  mnlr.i  off luulil-i,  " uot  likin]  llic  hoknof  him." 


Hunting      Idiot, 

REIl-RXIXG  FROM  THE  CHASE,  FLOPOSES  TO  'CHAFF  THAT  ARTIST  FELLER." 

Palntar  hriV.oui  the  ii:,jhlca  Imilalimt).  "\  Sxoul  , 


Hunt»m»a.    "Wuatll  vr.R  Take  me  For,  Gov'xolt.  ! 
64 


Bo.xino-Day. 


(Sin.  Busttel/m's favmtriU  Catynum  has  called/or  his  usual  Christmas-Dor  in  a  slatt  of tia-cr  mitid.) 

Mrs.  B.   "Oh,  Sawtee,  I'm  Surpeiskd— I  thoioht  von  such  a  Steady  Man!    I'm  sonnv  to  see  vou  cives  to  Deisk  I 
Sawyer.  "Beg  t'  Par'n  Mum,  no  s'li  'mso  lIi'M  (/«).    Dkisk  'asu  oi'm  t'  me,  Mum,  Vii  Monx'x,  Mum  I!" 


An     Old     Offender. 


■J/'/^ 


rrevoca  b  le. 


Oonntry  Oentleman  (ryeing  his   ilardaier  si  spicituaty).    "Deaie,   keah   MP, 
jEFrniE!!,    THIS     IS    Tiio    liAU  !       AFTER    WUAT    I    SAID    TO    VOU    YestEUUAV,     1 

didn't  think  to  Find  voc " 

Oardencr.    "  Vi.u  can't  Siiay— (/lie)— I  WASH  I>BUNK  Ye6Bt'»av,  Sh !  " 

Country  (Hntleman  {sttrrUy).    "Ap.E  vou  Sober  this  AIoKNINi;,  Sill  I" 
Gardener.   "I'm— hu'-ightly  Shober,  Sum!!" 
B3' 


Customer   {for  U-r  Hot/al  Wcd'liug  jJwtoyntyh).   "Cas't  I    havk  tur  Lady 

ONLV  ?      I    lioNT   SU    ML'CH    WANT   THE   OKSTLKMAN  !  !  " 

Tounff   FerBon   {with   dcciaion).     ">'o,   SlB;   wz  cA^'T   Takt   them.   Sin, 

A'OH'/" 


Mrs.      Jingleton.      Learning      that     Young      M    Skirlygy 

(FuoM  wHosK  Family  sue  Reckivkd  six:i  TolitenenS  whe ."  she  was  is  tiik  Uirhlands)  was  is  T-iwx,  and  having  Hkahd  m 
MLCH  OF  HIS  Playing,  a>ks  him  to  one  of  hek  I,rm.i-:  Pai:tie3  fo::  Classical  Music,  axu  hocks  he  will  'Oblige'  durimg  thk 
KvKMNO. — Ha!  Ha!  Shk  didn't  Know  what  his  iNsriiiMtNi"  was! 


■'  ■     ■       ■  ■     '    -V  Js,      • 


Arcadian    Amenities. 

Llttlo  Rustic  (a/trt-  a  "gttme"  uttiufijU^  friilrntlt/  orciuxiyhit'l).  *'0h,  tlRASR, 
HELP   rs   AIONV;    'nH    THIS    LiNRS   VI'  TO   MOTIIEllK— " 

Aml&blfl  Swell  (nyhnsl).  "Eh!  oh,  RimcuLofs— how  cas  I? — LonK  heue, 
I've  r.or  a  IIao— hkavv  Bao— to  taurv  hvaelf " 

I4ttle  Rustic.  "  I'll  cAUiiV  Yoiii  Rao,  Sin."  Swell.  "¥.n—nvT  {to  gnin  timf) 
WH— what's  Yoi'R  MoTHEu's  ABsunu  NAMKf"  [TkisUultiot  Kclphim  %nud%.  There 
icaa  no  cscnjy  ;  and  uUitiuxUbj b»t  ir:  dmtv  a  iviV  otff  the  h»miliaiing  tetfuel. 

66 


A     Big     Fish. 

A.rtfUl  Dimssl    {wJm   hts   mile   a   swrsttul   Otroic).    '*0,    LoRD    FlUBlbOlIf^ 
IIOWRVKK   SHAM.    I    MaNIIIE  " 

Lord  Penbiffffln  {otujht,  too).    'That   let  he  Show  too!     Ail  OBPimiM  • 
o««  HOW  VOL'  Pl\y   roup.   Fish!"      {Wf  hriraij  eonjidenee  /m-  ona.     This  Pidmrt 
fiimrs  fro-n  a  l/:tL'r  aent   bt/  a  ruichj-nutrrud  Lady  {now  of  title),  to  a  partteulMr 
t'riaii  of  hers,  an'i  is  eatUd  a    '^  Ji^minisefHce  oj  Scotland."     Perhaps  our  Solders' 
am  gtuta  at  the  Story— wt  cnnnot.] 


Playful  Widow.  "Ji'Mr  MF.  Down,  Mu.  Ficciss!  !" 

[The  fi„llmil  liUlc  Man  dUi  his  hat,   hut  fcU—in  lur  cstimrUiov  /or  riw.' 


Artful  -  Ver^  ' 

Uary.   "Dux'r  KEF.P  A  ScilEOUCl!!'  o'  ME,  John!  ' 
John.  "  Wii'oi  iieax't  a  Sckeovcix'  iin  vkk  ! " 
Kary  (i'.i</oii«iiWj().  ''Weli,  y'  cak  i'  v'  like,  .Ioiik 


'The    &rey     Mere'.' 


Mrs.  B.  iidl-i.i'j  at<  .-cnis).    *'Xn,  IJiiows,  I  wii.i.  Nt>r  HAVE  THE  PoNv  rA<  KEit  1    Xo!    That   rr.usfN   mi-st  have  seen  is  ome 
iXT"  THE  Lane  fiust;  and  ir  the  JIas's  cmt  cummun  rul.lTtXKs" " 

2fr.  B.    "ItrT,    MV    1>EA1:,    we've  msI.V  Jl>T  Tl'llSED  THE '' 

Mrs,    B.    *'I   don't  CAtlE,    l!l:u\VN  :      Xo  !      I    won't  r.u   nAVK,    IF  I   STAY  HERE  TILt " 

Farmer.  "All  iiir.HT,  Sii:;— I'll  r.ACK,  Sip..     I've  gov  .ust  .sicn  AsoTHEK  I'lxtx  ,\t  Home,  Siu:" 


How     We    Arrange    Our    Little     Dinners. 

MUtrau.  "Oh,  Vm.k,  we  sham,  want  Uixnei:  for  Foub  thii  Evesiso, 

AVhaT   Wi   AOr    THINK,    IIE'IUU    THE    JulNI.    oK    II\.1A1I    S..rr,    l.iili-ill:    I'aTEs, 
AN1>   AN    KSTI;4e-SAV,    liEEC!" 

Cook.  "  YE.'*,  'M— FuEkii,  on  Aisrr. 

TH*tntM.  "Let'.s  see!    It's  oslt  the  ItuunNs— Tinxeu  will  do:  " 
68 


Co  n  c/ u  sive 

Xiodcer.  "I  detect  ratmru  a  Dis,\GitKEAni.E  Suki.l  in  the  Horse,  Mas. 

JoN^;s,     Ai:E  voir  svi:K  tue  Drains " 

Welah  Landlady,  "Oil,  IT  cAS'i  BE  THE  Drains,  Sir,  whatever.    There 

ARE  .NONE,  Sir  !  '." 


Our    Manoeuvres. 

Captain  of  Skirmisliers    rxs/n.ij  i,t  to  seize  /'u/:c(  .'^ciftki  o/  ihr  £,ir.,i>/).  "HiM.1.0  !    Hk-ai:  ;    Vou  Si:i:rksdei:  ro  this  C'omi-anv  ! 
Opposition  Lance-Corporal.  "IJf.c  Paicdon,  Sir.  I    It's  the  otheu  "Way,  Sir.    We'i'.k  a  Bkicade,  Sir  I!!" 


'I  vv 


'Our    Reserves"—  The     Battle     of    Amesbury. 


Aide-de-Camp.  *' OnoD  Gracious.  Sir  !  wnr  don't  tou  Order  yoi'r  Mkn  to  Lie  T>o\tn  rKhicn  thh  Hili.  ?    Can't  vou  Si:e 

THAT    UaTTI:KV   PlAVIStl   RrnilT  ON  THKM?" 

Colonel  of  Volxmtoert.     "Su  I  hid,  Sir.     Blt  tret  won't  Lie  Down.    Tiikv  sav  tiiiiv  wast  to  See  tiik  Rkview  !  :" 
39 


^^^'  '~-^CT(lllllilillillillilllllllli!iBM  ~r^ 


Nervous 

Look  .' " 

Cabby.  * 


A      Little     Falling, 
Old  Lady.  "Now,  Cabman',  yoc'ke  Sice  Torit  House  is  Quiet?    AVhat's  he  layixo   Back  his  Eaks  likk  that  poi: 

'0  that's  only  hek  Femi-.\7.v«  CfK'osiTY,  MfM.  ■  She  likes  to  Heat:  woeie  she's  a  Coin'  to!" 


The     Connoisseurs. 

Oroom.  "  Wimv'H  Beec  do  you  Like  IJ»:&t — this  "eue  Hom'brewed  o' 
Fisk'b,  ok  that  thkhe  Ale  they  gives  yeii  at  the  Whiie  Ho's?" 

K««per  (critienlhf).  "WELL,  o'  THE  Tew  I  riiEFEibs  this  'eke.  That  theuc 
o'  WfM'fMJD'a  pun't  Fare  to  me  to  Taste  o'  Nawthl'N  at  all.  Now  this 
*Ei:E  pew  Taste  u'  the  Ca&k  .' ! " 

60 


"  lo      Bacche  ! 

JeunM,  "Monsis',  Mr.  jAitvirt,     What's  the  XewsT" 
itr.  J.  (tJu  old  Coachrtuin),  "  Wkli,  I've  'eaed  the  best  bit  o'  Nkwu  this 
MniisiNo  A«  I 'tb  'eap.d  for  waxv  a  Day,  from  olb  Butleb.    He  tell  mk 
the  Winyakwi  h  'a  comis'  RorsD,'  ASO  there's  every  Pbosi-ec'  of  cub. 
CErriN'  SOME  KOBik  oooi>  Madeiry  !  I  " 


^Qi 


A      Veteran  , 

Civil  Service  Captain.    ""Will— he— ah— stand  Tow-dab?" 

Dealer.    '•  'IVwDEr.  ?'    Why  he  was  all  through  the  battle  o*  Watzkloo  that  Charger  wajs  ! 


"What's     the     Odds?'^ 

Purchaser,    "He's  rather  Heavy  about  thb  Head,  isn't  he  ?" 

Daaler  {can't  deny  il).    "Well,  Sik  !  {Ha^ipy  lluughl.)   But  y'bke,  Sib,  he'll  bev  to  Caekt  it  iiisselt  ! 


61 


"There's  Many   a   Slip"&-c. 


WAcr.iRi  SAW  A  srr.KsiiiD  Tiir.i;nroi-.\n  Tkiht  Frxnixo  is  k  Quiet  Puie  os  the  Tii.iMiis  oxe  Evesisu  last  Week.    Down 

HE  COMtS  THE  NEXT  Nr';HT,    MAKING  SVIIE  OF  HIM  !      Bl'T  SOME  OTHEU  PKOri-E  HAT>  SEEN  IIIM  TOO  !  !  I 


-^^"^^^^ 


^'^^ 


ksm. 


<#* 


^.^mw 


M^^^^^ 


w 


Lingua" East  An^lia. 


FlT«t  Anffler  {/o  Country  Itoit).    "1  say,  mv  LaPj  Jl'sr  GO 

TO    MV    KeieSO  uS  THE  BlIfHOE  TUEEE,   ANO  8AV   1   SHOEEIi  HE 
MUCH  Obi.IUEO  TO  UI3I   IF  UE'U  SeND  ME  SOUK  liAlT." 

62 


Country  Boy   ((»  Svuu:!    AmiUr,    In    Ihf    Tiul-rn    r;H,ii:,t 

hll^llirj.-).     "Tha'   TMEUE   R'l'   »AnV    HE   WANT    \    \Vl  I  ii  "     '  " 


^SffiS^Fcl''^^ 


A   Luxurious   Habit. 

Philanthropist  {.to  Uiiilimij  Purler).    "TllEX  what  Timk  DO  TOl'  CtT  TO  Bim!" 

Pcrier.     "Will,    I    SELDOM  wirAT  VEE   MAY  CALL  GKTS  TO   BeD   MVSEIF,    'CAfsE  o'   THE   XlcllT   Tl'.AIXS.      lii  I     MV     Ul.iil  lltl!,    AS 

IVKIi  T"   WOltK  T1!E   P'lVTS   Kl  CTIIEI:  l»n\vx  THE    I, INK.   WEST  TO  BED  LAST  ClIllISTMAS  AlTi:r.   THE   At<  IDEST.  ANI»   NEVET. " 

ITt-ain  riiy/irs  i,i,  and  the  Vaylirs  rifsh  off'. 


The  Go/den  A<fe  Resto rec 


Tounir  Lady  (Th^»-jh  T'nWiKjrry  fil   il't.-it  JU'tiifj  Sfnlioit).    "WllATs  going  ox  iieke  to-i>av,   l'>iiiiEl:f     Has  ihki.k  iill.n  a  KftrE?" 
Porter  {fisloiiMnt).   "  Bles-;  thee,  I.aks  I  TiiBiiF.'s  XEA  Feiohtix'  soo-A-iiAYs;  Va  Aoix  t'  La-aw  !— NoiincT  A  FlooeuSuow  ; " 
63 


"No     Accounting     for     Taste." 

Materf&miUas  (Jusl  drrivti  at  S\rimptille—'M  ClUldrm  hi!  lc:a.  damn  n  UMlh  b-fon).    '"WgLl.  Jaxe,  ii.vve  yoo  fobxd  it  DrtL?" 
Nurse.   "It  was  at  rusr,  M'm.    Tukre  was  kothink  to  Impkuve  tue  JIisd,  SI'm,  till  the  Xiggers  ivme  dows  !:" 


Sold     Cheep. 

lattl«  Brown  (to  " Siggrr  Mixtlrel."  trAo  aUoij/i  addrasa  hia  IMtncn  at  ••  ily  Lord").     "Ah,   how   Din  Tou  Ksnw  MV AH 

-Ili.w  mi,  v,.L   KS..W  1  WAS  A  LoKD  t "  [SoiKiUon  avumg  the  byilandml 

KlnBtr«l.    "BLFiiit  VF.n,  MY  LoKD,  I  KF.vKn  LOSE  Sight  o'  mt  Schoolfellciw  ! " 

( Kmn  n/  ImighUr.     LMli  II.  mra  j  n,  and  botu  • 

64 


Selling     Him     a     Pen  ny  worth. 

Philanthropist.  "Tuki:k"s  a  Fksxy  foil  you,  my  r.Ai>.     Wh.vi-  will  you 

DO  WITH   IT?" 

8we«j»*r.  "What  all  this  at  Once!    I'll  Tuss  yeh  For.  it,  Dovdle  or 

<JUIT8!" 


A     Change     for     the     Better, 

Green^ocer.   "Want  a  Pi^nn'oktii  o'  Coals,  du  yei:  ?    Yol' won't  be  able 
TO  'ave  a  Prnn'ohth   Mi'tti  LONi;i:it.     They're  a  going  up.     Coals  is  Coals 

NOW,    I   CAS  TELL  VEIt  !  " 

Boy.  "An,  well,  Mutiieu'll  be  glad  o'  that,  'cause  she  says  the  last 
Coals  shr  had  o'  Yor  was  all  SLATES  I  !" 


Co  1 1  o  Cj  a  I  al    Ecf  ui  vaJen  ts. 


Papa.  "  Nu\v,  MY  iiK.vn  Ciuls  yovk  yuoTm:u  is  itErKiviNC  a  most  Exp;;nsiye  Eihtation,  and   I    iiiink  thai  wtiiLii  iii:  is  ap 
Hume  Koit  TiiK  Holidays  yol'  should  Ti:y  to  li:a«s  Something  kkom  him  " 

Emily.  '-So  we  do,  'Pa.     Wk've  lcaiint  that  a  IJoy  who  Cp.ies  is  a  '  IIlib,'  that  a  P.'iy  \vh.)  \V..i:k-;  II  \i:n  i-^  a  'Sui.t*"- — 
Plora,  "  Yrx,  and  that  anybody  you  h  -n't  Likk  is  a  *  Cad  ; '  and  wi:  know  thi:  Mkanino  of  '  Cin-ii,'  '  Pl;<>i;,'  \\n  a  '  Wax   '*' 
63 


'The     Meal     Supply.' 


Bftthins-Man.  "  VEji,  Mcu,  ur.'s  a  Cood  oli>  'Orse  ykt.    Asd  he's  bees  in  the  Salt  AVate!*.  so  I/U'c,  iii;"i.l  makk  r.vniAi. 

iiiLKD  Beep  when  we're  dose  wiru  uim  !  !!" 


"Tracts." 

First  MftTvy.  "Tnkw  Mirmonakt  cave  me  this    eke  Ti;a«:k  jist  wow, 
Biu.." 

Second  Navry.  ''Ain't  se»:s  him.     M'hat  ioikk  is  HEf" 
fint  Nawy.   "  I.irrii:  Ciiai*— rr.EACHtJi  Atutr  ekjht  Sus  ten,  I  f>iioi;i.ii 
Gcesk;" 

66 


"A  Ticket  of  L  eave 

Swell  (l'7c»  ^rvHt  I.-  liuiir).  "H'YAr.S  MY  KVAKIt  IK  YOU 'i>— All— LIKE  10 
SimMmS    MV-" 

Cabby  {trho  hit  pulM  up  n.tit  hfttnl  the  tiixjnUr),  "  DoN't  Vol'  take  it,  RiLL. 
It's  uis  Tkket  o"  Lr.Av».  1" 


A      pleasant     Prospect. 

Traveller  [in  Trelaiul).  '"  Hi.— I'ui.i.  iiF.r.  vv,  Man:     Don  r  you  sbe  the  Mai;e  is  RrxNixc  away?" 

Paddy.  "  Hoi  l;i  tight,  vkp.  "Oxtu:  1    Fun  VKi:  life  noN'a^Torcii  the  Reixs  I— sihe  t«ey'j:e  as  i:oiien  as  i-eai-.s  :     1 'i.r- 

TUI:N    her   into  the    RiVEU  at   the    IlKlUnE    DEI-UW    keek.       SlI:E  that'll  stop   her,    TME   rLACYAlll);" 


rtt^trt  I  i-'>^>l^'f^'i^^^^'^)^ 


Reassurin<i. 

Traveller  In  Ireland  (ilimiiiUir,  iind  ,■!■•;  ,mrlicnlnr).   "No"',   I  iJoiT.  rnv.  .^'uf.I'.ts  are  Clean!" 
Kathleen  ((/.<■  VhumUnmUl],  "Cl^ksf,  Sou'    Sirke  tuev'kk  ji'st  D.mr  n:oM  tjik  Masglk,  SuI! 


67 


Woman's    Rights. 


Scotch  Lady  (who  hag  taken  a  House  in  the  Eighloiuls,  hrf  Scrmnts  sudileultj  ijin'uj   "  iraraiiuj").   "What's  tue  Keason   of   this? 
Have  vor  not  am,  you  want?— cocid  Itoous,  and  good  Fresh  Aib  and  Fiwn,  and  Easy  \Voi:k  !" 
Spokeswoman.  "Yes,  Mem— nuT— but  thep.f,*s  so  a  decent  Laau  witims  I'nv  u'  rs!" 


■<^r^;^:^v;^-i,^. 


"Canny." 

Sportiman.    "That's  a  Tofnli  oi.i>  Ki:i.rit\v,  Jr.sivvi" 
Keeper.    "Av,  Siii,  a  tiliAMt  BiiiD  T«t  K».xn  ti>  \itri:  Kimkn 


68 


Stern     Pulpit  Critics. 

First  Scot.  "Kat  Sour  o'  MiNiKTi::t  hae  yb  tJuTTEN,  GeordieI" 
Second   Ditto.  ■•On.  \Vi.i:i,  he'b    x«   mcckI-E  wcctb.     Wk  seldom  get  a 
i;ii.\r  •■   iiiM.    .Sax  Dat>  u  th'  week  he's  t.xVrot'BLE,  asd  om  the  Se\»_vtii 

Uf.'.S    C.NCOUI'ltKllKNd'ULi:  '.  !    " 


The     Commissariat. 

Squire  (to  nnv  RiUl-r).    "1  have  THREE  on.  four  CLERtivMEN  coiuk:;  to  Dine  with  m".  tc-mo^row,  P;;odgsrs,  A^D " 

Mr.  Frodg-ers.   "'Igii  or  Low,  Sir?" 

Squire.   "Weli,— I  hardly But  wht  no  yof  ask,  Prodcers?" 

Mr.  Proiffera.    "TVELt,  vou  see,  Sir,  the  *'Icn'  drinks  most  Wine,  and  the  'I.uw'  eats  most  Vittles,  and  I  must  perwtde 

ACCORDIS'  !  !  ' 


Duty     ar\6      Pleasure. 
Bnrai  Butler  {itc/craitiuUif).     "And  what  do  you  Think  of  oin  Country 

(JlAMIV    liiiWN    HERE,    SiR  ?  " 

Town  Qentleman  ("  in  waiting"  In  Lord 2farylone,  nho  tnia  i-isitintf  the  Squire). 
"■\Veu.,  'f  col  i;sr.,  you  see,  Smitiiars,  I  don't  mind  Waiiin*  on  'eh.— hut— 
'cant  Say  I  should  cai:k  to  Sit  Down  with  'km"  :  ! ! 


69 


"Business  !" 

Bath-Chairman.     "I  s'msK  THE  Duke  of  Edindoro*  and  his  Missis  will 

HE   IlY    DiriKCTLY  ?" 

Policeman.    "No,  they  won't.    They  ain't  in  Town." 

Bath -Chairman.    "Ain't  they?— I  ray,  if  that  Oi.»  Lady  in  .my  Cham 

ASTS    vou,     SAV     'you   don't    KNOW,'     'lAUf-K    SIIE's   A  WAITIN'   TO    SEE  'EM,    A'S. 
]  M    ENCAGED   IlY   THE  HOUK.'"' 


3a  c  rificG . 

Good  Templar.    **Tct— t— t— Rkally,  Swizzle,   it's  DiscnACEFUL  to  see  a  Mas  is  tour  Position  is  this  State,  aftep.  tiii: 
Expense  wkve  ixllrked  and  the  Exektiu.vs  Wk'vk  tsED  to  Tit  Down  the  Liql'op.  ThaffiC" 

Swizzle.     "V   MAY    PREASU    AS   MLSU    AS   y'    LiKE,    OeN'l'm'K,     BUB   I   CAN    TELL  V'    I'VE    MADE    MOKE    PERsirNAL     EkKuI:*!!    TO  (Alc) 

PunuowN  I.iguop.  than  *vv  of  yk  !" 


Ex tenuat ing    Circi msta nces. 

Employer  {uh  hm  imy  to  iu-itiiev  on  Mcwfutj  moiniuy).   "All,  SaUNDEKs!  I'm 

*ti;i:v  Tij  SHE  YOU  is  this  AVay.    1  tholgut  you'd  tik>ed  ovkr  a  Ktw  Leaf  ! " 
Saunders  {rrji(MtitHt).    "Siio  Tap,  Sinn,  but  (AiV) 'tsii  all  aloxc  o*  thesii 
'*jtB  Wa'er  Co'pamj:*— I  'ssiiure  you,  Shiu,  ."tit  wa>hx't  Dvxr  v'  W'a'eu 
4n  err.  Slll^Il^'liN  all  Yk^ht'p.iiay  t ! : " 

70 


A     Defiin  ti  on. 

Shoeblack  {poi>tti»'J  to  U»MmJ'j  Putty  ttj  Ihr  la »}}>■/ vsf).     "  TEX-ToTALLEC  OS 

'the  Stmke,'  Sil!" 


M  y$  tifica  t  lo  n . 

Our  i/ouiuj  Lamhc'ip'-  Fa/iit'-ys  Prcixirations  are  Jlfjit,\lcl  v.itk  Intense  Interest  by  fhr  ViUayc  Juveniles,  jb7io  evidently  cj-pcci  a  Gymnastic 
Entertainmmi — {he  frames  an  Ima'jinary  Picture  with  his  Hi'ntfs). 
Omnes.    "Kk's  a  coin'  to  sav  uih  rr.AYEits  fist:!" 


Excursionist  {to  /ni.i^dj).    "  I'luj  !  'niE's  osE  o'  TiirM  AnTisTS.     'DnSsAV  'i:'r.i.  want  a  (.;i;xti:i;l  Fiur.r.n  roi:    is  Fur.ECiiut'N'n. 

1 'l.T.   jr.l.Vfl   MR  '«f.'/.''* 


7V 


Our     Theatricals. 

Brown  (rehearsitig  his  part  as  Ihc  "Vimnle  de  Chtn'aac").    "Yas,  JIaeif.  !   I've  fcinhly  Loved  vr.     {Sobs  Jntmnlltallii )    "Tis  wpi.< 

-BUT  KO  HAT-TAR-R  !  " 

Housemaid  {to  Cool^  cvltidc  the  J^car).    "  Lavkp,  Xiz'beth,  ain't  Masteu  a  civin'  it  to  Missis  ! " 


Flatter!  n;?. 

Houasmaid  ^1;  Cook;  IxhiHj  llu  laimb).    "He's  a  Haffabi.e  Yoixg  Max,  that  iai'mn  Ldibeh,  Missis's  Biwtiiei:.     Hmv  Becomis' 

he'd  I/ioK  IS  ooR  Livery,  wodlpn't  he!!!" 


72 


Comparisons. 

Barber.    *"'Aik's  exti:'iiiumnai:y  Drv,  Sih.     {t'uitfomrr  •rplains  he  has  been  iu  t/u:  Comttnj,  and  out  o'  doors  a  good  deal.)    An!  jus' 

60,    SiK.       liriSATlOV   TO   TH  K   'Alll.   Silt!     If   I    WAS    HJ    111;    KSiHKlX"    ABOUT   'UnTING   AND    FlMIIx',    Loll",    SiR,    MY    'AlR   WOULDN'T   BE   IK   SO 

nr-HTRr.  Statk  than  viu'ks,  Piu;.'" 


Delicately     Put 

Cuatomer.    "I'm  akuaid  I'm  oEm.N-;  a  i.ii-[|,k  Hald!" 
Operator.    "Well,  Sir,  I  think,  Sir,  wuf.n  vou  aitend  Pitblit  Wuauii", 
IF  I  WAS  YOU,   I'd  Sit  in  the  Galleuv." 

73 


A     Rash     Refusal. 

Caatomer  (flyinij  from  Impurtuunk  TraiPsmaH).    "No,  thank  \oi',  h<txniNc 

MOltE,   Bt,MLY  !      Not   ANOTHEIt   Ar.TICLK,    IlIANk    YOU  !      (_'.00I)   MoRNINol" 

[Uteapa—fui  I  ha!  rf/mntf  h  is  own  Umlritia  1 1 


/\    Guflty  Consc lence. 


Country  Parson  {to  hani-iiti.iK-inj  Ohl  Potijtrr).    "  Wiiv,  siiieiv,  >It't;(u:n»cE,  vol"   ur.iiK  I:k:.ikvk:»   iam    M'kik   fihim   hik  i'nw- 

Uvig-^idse.    "(mmmi-mux  Ahmp,  Sti: !     'S  tc.lk's  I  Stand  heki:,  nkvki:  vas  insii*;-:  tiik  'Oi'sp.   iv   am.   my   I.IK^:,  Sn; :    Xkvki: 
iirnni  xk  ir,  Sn: :" 


"^^^S^i:: 


Equal    to     the    Situation. 

The  Par»on.    "WKti.,  lAr.r.iy\  y«h  r.  MoniKit's  iomk  otr  of  Tr-isoN,  I  iiiixi:. 

Ilt'W     IS   MIIR   NtiW  f" 

X<liaie.   "O,  TiiANKv',  Sn:,  she's  ev'  momltu  Bettki:.     Suk'\b  had  <  Ai-iTAt. 

TiMK"*   IS   TIIKKE.      FaTIIKP.'s    OUT    O"    WuHK,    AND    IIAIIIKII    TooliLV,    fcU    II..    Uul 

TtMtK  IP  Last  Niuht!:" 
74 


T/l€  Con  va/esceot. 

Now   Curate   l,tcti<f<rrl;}).    ".Vv  ci»tD  Man,  \\v\t   isuvvr.D  vol*  TO  Fi:no  ro» 

Oldest  Inhabitant.    'MViiat  ik.ik  hi;  Sav,  IJKriv  '" 

Betty.    "Savs  wuat  iiik  Iillct.  did  viu  Si;m>  F*nt  iinr.  Fon  It" 


Awk 


w kwa  re 


Literal  Servant  Girl  (/</  Itfomtt,    f/io  inia  atllinit  fur  tht  fifsi  llio-'  ^>n  Lhr  i)i/tf!i'''i-i/iM\    "Vi.r.\-<K,  SiK,  Yo:iu  ('viimvn  say  u.i 

PON'i     IIAl.K   IIKE  TllK   LnOK    UK  THIS    lIKIil-:   H  \I.f--fi;ti\VN    VtU'VK  GIVK    HIM  !1" 


"Suit  Your  Ta/k  to  Your  Com  pa  ny." 


Mrs.  CloT«rm*frd.    "Ask,    Has,   vk 'r.i.  smrNfi  mi'.  Tr.AV'—irmitlcitiiUf  hersci/~hrr  /ttshionihU    Cousin,  fi-om    London,    is   on  n 

Visit  lit   t/i'     J','rm)—'\\r.  HBAl.l.   WAST  TMK  ('AUKtAUK  Tt»   DitM'K    INTO  THK  ToWX   AFl'KR    I.L'S'  IIKOS,    DaHIEI.." 

Danisl.    "  Yk<,  Mum— (AcuV-i^Miy— /i-  hal  H>iii'-d  Uk  t4^rfittioii)~Ur.  1— {/h  n  lotit  jrhiHjitr)—UK  I  to  Chanck  my  Tr.owsK's,  Mim  V 
75 


Silly     Suffolk  C')     Pastorals.     Fteciprocity. 


Parson.    *'  I  HAVE  Missed  you  from  your  Pew  of  late,  Mr.  Studding6 ' 

7uin«r  {npologdimtty).    "  Wei.1-,  Sin,  [  HEv'  been  to  MEEr'.s*  LATELY.    Bur— v"  .sek,  Sik,   th;  Kkvkuesd  Me.    Scowles  »»'  the 
Chapel,  he  bought  soue.Pigs  o"  me,  and  I  thought  I  ought  to  gi'  'm  a  Takn  !  !" 


Lap6us     Lingues. 


Oor  Athlttlc  OtumU  iirhn,  \ritK  Hit  ./imnj  men  i,/  Au  fnrM,  had  bttn 
viUtriouj  1,1  ,1  yrr.i(  malck  Uu  .(ay  ^^^c  ;  i,lnuc  ytrjirr  km  Ait  oner,  <mly.) 
"IfB-Att    KnDETH    the   KlBir    IXMNOS  V"    " 

76 


The     Archery     Meetini 


Oarmtfl   [tu  Fmr  Simnjcr).     "I    I-KECRIVE  YOU  ARK   KOT   A  ToxoiHIUTE  !" 

Fair  Stranvtr  {yiv,iiptl>j).    "Oh  dear  ko  !  *Ciii;Rcii  ok  England,'  I  assuhc 
Yoo : " 


Gran  d  i  Iquence 

Captain  of  Schooner.    "WiiAi   'a'  vni-  nui    ihkkk,  Pat?" 

Pat.  {iiiiu  Jfits  been  hnjing  in  svinc  Fircti\ml  niiU  Potniocs).  "Tlmder  and  Fkuit,  YKit  HoNori: ! 


L  e  veiling  Up  . 

Sub.  {Jiist  arrived  hj  mil).  "How  much  to  the  Bahuacks?" 

Car-Driver.  "An,  siivuK  this,  Cai-tin,  niu  Masest  ov  'em  rives  mk  Tree  and  SixienceI 


77 


Rural     Simplicity 


"Ckex  to  Suiool,  I.11T1.I'.  Lassie r"  "Ay,  Sin."  "Good  Cirl— tube's  a  Pexsy  fob  tov." 

"TuASK  vor.  Sin.    I'll  iiae  to  iie  sTEprix'— bct  awm  o.vcx   to   Skkixl   i    riir.   Mok.\is'— mill  ve  be   imis  wav  i'  tue 


EfTEr.SEis ; 


Catechism    under  Difficulties. 

Fr««  Ktrk  Elder  {jtrrjifieatorti  t>}  prr»r»tunj  n   Trfi-t),   "SIv   ri;lK\r>,  lio  YOU 
Know  rut:  ''hike  Enk  iif  JIan  r" 
Piper  (Mtftoorit//>/>.  "Ka,  I  PiXNA  MiMt  iirE  i'lirsL!    Can  ve  ,\i.  M'iu-:«TLr 


;! 


In  Vino  M emo na 

Kajor  Portsoken  (.(  i>rrllij  nmliiiil  GHrti).  "I  ,av,  liinrASAN,  rlll^  isxt- 

{niiotJicf  at/i  —  IIIK  SAME  L'lrAWI-AU.VE '." 

Scotch  Batler.  '•  Xa.  tii.vt  s  .i'  Dixr:    Thcke  \va>  Tiiiiitia  I>izze.v;  anu 

VE  '\  K    MAD  VEKi:  SlIAUE   o"T.    M.VJuE  '.  '.  " 


78 


M I nd  and  Matter, 

Augustus  {j>o*-(>'.->iI).  '-Look,  Hunn  !     How  Lovr.i.v  \ur.  thusk  t'LEEi-v  Cutdlkt-s  daitled  over  Tin; 
Edith  [jhosftii).  *' Ves     'Xactlv  like  Ckavy  wues  it's  Gnrnso  Onrn     Tss'r  it?"!! 


^/^•;-:  5i//v>'<cv:a;?  %r^ 


Perspective'" 

U  l-iimcisixo  Asi>  Conr.KcTisc  ins  I'liKnv  Coumns  rKi;si'Einvn,  ok  corusc  KiiEBHuiCK's  F.u-k  .Mr,T  ni;  as  xi:M:t.v  as  kissiulk 

IS   JliE  SAME   I'LACK  AS  HEnS  !— TABLEAU  I— Pa  (fX  TlIK   liACK'-lllOl  SD)   IS  EVIPESILV  MAKIXG  UP  HIS  MiSU  TO  SEB 
ABOUT  THIS !    jVi'/c.  Fl:Kl»  hasn't  o  rnp! 
79 


Those  D readfu I    Boys! 


Algernon.  "And,  dearest,  if  the  Devution  of  a  Life "    [At  this  momcui  his  hit  is  Inockcd  onr  Au  ctfcs  Ifj  a  commuix  .Star- 

fsh,  or  IXrC'^ngcrs  {^Astcrias  rubcuj),  fliromi,  tcith  considcrahlc  fvrce  ani  }irccisioii,  iy  one  of  those  it^*m* high-spirited 

littic  ftUatcs  her  younger  IrvOters,  Tommy  and  Ulutie!  ! ! 


Pro  fan  at  ion. 


Oent.  "I  LEFT  A  Lock  of  Hair  here  a  few  X'ays  ago  to  de  Firrtn  iv  a  Locket,  is  it— An~RE.U)T»" 

ATUst«.    "VtRY   SORRY,    SlR»    IT   BAS   IlEEN   UULAID.       BUT   IT  "S  OF   SO   C0N8»JUK>'CE,    SlR— WE   CA>'   EASILY    GET   IT  MaTCOED,    Si».  "  M 

80 


"Turn      A  bout." 

Ooorre.  "I  SAV,  T<»M,  do  take  (.are  I    You  nearly  Shot  my  Fathep.  then  ;" 

Tom.  '"Sh  !    DoN*T  say  anvthixg,  there's  a  good  Fellow  :    Take  a  Shot  at  mine  ! ! 


Making     Things     Pleasant 

Irishman    ^lo    Eaglish    Sjtortsman).    "Is    n     Th;:olt!.I     Be   jaders,    the 
AV'ArniF.K  '3  stikf  wid  'em  III" 

['*  Jicgnrdlcjs  0/  strict   Irtitfi,    in  his  love  of  fii/perloh  nud  ffcnerowt  tlcsire  to 
jilaisf,"  <xa  onr  Friend  r^cordeJ  in  hia  Diary  a/ivr  a  bln.tk  ilny. 

81 


Angling     Extraordinary 


CiMtomer  d.i  n  'jmil  huirij).    "A  Small  Box  iir  Cestlf-s,  tlease.    And  lo«« 

SlIAUl' !      I  *ANT  TO  CaicII   a    '  Bl  8  '  1  ! 


"  Happy    Thought." 

KistreBs  (irho  hful  eoiir  dotcn  to  »fe  a'*out  thr  Ba.ts  Voic^  sU  had  heard  in  titc  Kitchen— Gnard'>inn  diiu-orcrcd.').    "  0,  you  Deckitfi'i. 
Girl,  to  say  there  was  Xodody  here  I    And  aftci:  I'd  gives  tod  wstin'CTLY  to  understand  I  dius*t  allow   'FoLix)WEr^'  ;  and 

HERE,    YOU   UAVES'T   BEEN   HERE   A   WeEK " 

Cook.     "  I.M'KS,    M'M,    it   ML-Sr   EE   ONE   O*    THE    FoLLEKERS   AS   TOE   LAST   CoOK    LEFT   Hf/INH  'EU  !  !  " 


Romance  of -the  Kitchen 

Cook  (/nwi  the  Arai\    "O,   'Liza,  ci'  mb  mv  AVinicbettc— I've  'ad  a- 

OFFEC— Fr.>ll   T«K   DCSTITAX/.'" 


82 


"Com pi Im  ents  of  the  Season." 

Comely  Housemaid.  "O,  Mi:.  Jauf^,  I'm  80  Frightened  in  the  Railway  t 
ScpiHiSK  Tnr.  lJii.ri:  \v,\s  tu  Bust  I " 

Kr.  James.  "Then,  my  Dear,  yul* 'd  be  a  Singin  auong  the  Angels  ik 
ABoiT  Ten  MiNi'T&t :  !'* 


Emily.    "What's  Capital  Pi-nishmest,  Mamma?" 

Master  Harry.   "  Wiiv,  BEING  Locked  up  is  the  Pastry  !    /  should  considlu  it  so 


Dear,     Dear     Boy  ' 

Qeorffe.    "Oh!  Shouldn't  I  jrsT  like  to  sen  Somt-body  in  that  Den,  Aist 

Serious  Aunt.   "YE-Ed.     Daniel,  I  suitosk,  deai:  !" 

Oeor^o.    "Oh  no,  Aint;  I  mevs  'Old  Twkimiv,"  lui:  IIi;ai>-J[asteii  ! :  ' 


83 


^.^^>^     NT 


"Brother     Brush" 

Eblp  Painter.    "  XiiE  Dnvi.N'  \VE.\THr.B  For.  ovr.  ElslXEss,  ain't  it.  Sir.!" 
Am«t«ur  frf.jcuirtrtcrfl.    "Va-as:" (r<ii«  <i  rfi«/iiv  (u  (/«■  )./■<,■•. 


The     Compliments     of     the     (Sketching)     Season" 

Pap*.  "TiiEr.r,  IIlnk  !    If  voi-  conn  do  liks  that,  Id  have  vol-  rjce.ir  fniirae,  mv  Ecit  ! 


Hi 


A      Pleasant      Prospect. 

Eng-lieh  Tourist.  "1  say,  Look  hekf..     How  fai;  is  it  to  this  Glexstarvit  ?    They  told  rs  it  was  only- 

Natlve.   "AriQOT  Forp.  Milks.' 

TonrlBt  {offhtiitt),  "All  Bog  likr  this? 

Kative.   "  Kii— n— THIS  is  just  Naetbin'  TtLr.'r  !  !  " 


Compliments    of    the    Season. 

Squire  {*rho  interests  himseJj  vilh  the  Moral  and  Malcii"f  Cinnlitioii  of  Lis 
J'>'nnt,itri/).  "Hullo,  Woodulff  1  what  an  eye  you'vb  got!    How  ihd  you 

CKl-  THAT?  !" 

Labourer.  "O,  it's  nawtmin'  Tautic'lar,  Sir..  LAt^x  Nicin— at  tiik 
AVim-E  'Aijr,  Siu.  Hut— (/»  ''.,f,„,uttwii)~Ciuimiyi.\sii  Time.  Sir— o.v'v  Onti: 
A  Vi:au  !" 


Two    Sides    to    a    Question . 

Squire.  *'YotjK  Na.mk  S,\[nii  ?" 

Smitb.   "Yessik." 

Squire.   '*Air,  I  v'.ndehstaxd  vuu'jik  the  Mas  who  cives  so  much  Tnoi:hLE 

TO  MY  KKEPEKS!  " 

Smith.   "A.v  YEii  rAKDo.s',  Sgiirir,  yolk  KEEPEns  is  mlcu  moke  Tkouulk 

in   ME  !  *' 


Suspicion ' 


Stout  Visitor  {on  diKoixrimj  that^  Uttring  his  usunl  ICap  after  luncheon',  he  has,hten  suhjcdcd  to  a  grossly  personal  Practical  Jolx).  "It's  one 
o'  THOSE  Dasbrd  Aktists  tuat  are  Staying  at  the  'Loud  Nelson'  'a'  doke  tdis,  I  kxuw  '." 


KM  mij^i 


r^   y 


Depression. 


Scene— 7/"-  Ejrhn.tgc.     LuUistriat  Centre. 

First  Commerciml  Kan  i'lnjly).  "Mohmn' 
Second  ditto    rvMhr.   "JIuUNlsV" 
rir»t  C.  M.     '  .     ■•''!').    "OwtT" 
Secoud  ditto    -  ■       .'"''?').   "Xowi  !" 
Plrst  C,  M.    v/  .    i/v.  "MonMN*!" 
Secoud  ditto  '■/.  v-'.,.  , '/  :.  "MoiiNiN*"" 

8e 


in-ri-iw. 


Reductio  aa  Absu rdum. 

Stout  Party  ,//*'•  jinti  time  he   icciit  for  hii  DuiitcmU  .li.'^c  his  Annt  left  him 
thni    L-jnoj).     "W'nr.Mt.   DO  YOf  Go  FOR  THESE  DlVlDENU   AVaUKANTB  ?  " 

Bank  Beadle.  "What  Stock,  Sir?" 

Stout  Party.  "W'eli,  Three  ier  Cent.  Souetuiso '* (//-e  irord  stuck  in 

his  t/i.vat). 

Bank  Beadle.    "Ah!— (yniM^  him    Ute  In/vrmalivn,   n»d  snijiuQ  the  irortl  fur 
him\ — r^EDOOCBO,  Sl»^  \  "  [Stottt  J\trty  ri'jhx,  ami  c^if. 


iaste  the    Less    Speed.' 

Intelligent  Peasant  [icko  has  been  overlooking  oto-  Artist-i  u-ith  much  interest).   "  Vak  Mate  s  a  Stainin    o'  jiis'n  a 


READY,  Sir  ! ' 


My.  A 


T/)e  Po  I  n  t  of  View. 

Tomkins  ^/i--  has  /ifftnt  his  friend  Stwlgc  talk  so  iiiucit  nloiU  that  lo\-:hj  sjiot    It'M'l'-Attri'k,  Khillifi-  he  IC(W  (joiiifj  sktUhiitfjt  Ihat  /<«■ 
trtiK  iudncat  to  acoy.ujxiny  him.    A  <l(ty  Jias  elapsed,  and  he  is  aimking  to  the  hortvr  0/  his  siluativu  !)  "Skems  to  me  an  IXFEItx 

I   CAI.I.  IT  KAl'ltKI!  A  DUM,  Pl.AlK  '.  " 

Stodge.  "Dii.i,,  jiv  Deau  Fellmw  I    How  CAS  You  .Say  60?    LuoK  at  this  Beaitifii,  Bukeiy  Common!    And  the  Lixis 
"F  TiMsi;  Old  IIi.ises  on  the  Healh,  Di'.EAKixn  the  Hoi;izon.  and  the  CcLoni!    A.vi)  THE  ,lou.Y  Qi'iET  of  the  I'LACE  !    XilSi; 
■  1'  YoiT.  Beastly  l!Ai;r.Ei.-OE(;AN.s  un  Caiiso  TonusTs  .SnAKMixo  aiuht  :     I  THiianiT  yoi'h  Like  it  1 1 " 
87 


Visitos  "Hiin  I'iXi;  has  voir.  Masteu  deen  away?" 
Irish  Footman.  "Wr.u.,  Soi:r,  if  he'd  come  Homf.  yistiiei^dav,  he'd  a' 
i:rrA'  Go>*E  A  Vake  TO-Mniii:i'W  1  r.VT  F,v  HE  doesn't  i:i:Tn:N  the  Dav  afthkii, 

SIII|:i;  JIE'ir.  a'   I'.KIX  AWAY  A    K"I:T.\M.MT  SEXT  Tin.ir.sIlAV  !  I '' 


H  vperb  o  /  e. 


Saxon  Sportsman. 
Pat.  '*SNirF>,    IS 

llEKEABOl'TS!" 


**,\NY  Ssn'E  AnoiT  iiehf,  my  Man?" 

r?!      FAIX,     THKV'r.E     HINKUAM-Y     JOSTLfN' 


ACH     OTIfEK 


Irish  Uodcl  ,,-.,«../.,//..  j.,i 


Real    Irish   Grievance. 

.,1  .  .,  .1.1 ;.,;.-,;  ,,„(, I.,  '•Till   nll^s^■.l)  Saints  hkict  we  into  Tins  Coat,  Sup' 


.■^S 


■    w 


C^-: 


Our     Inspection. 

Uentenant-Colonol.    '■llfl.l.o:     t'uSFol'ND  it!     TutKLs  A  Mas  m.owixi;    llis   Xose-and   wnil   a    I'.u  Klii-llAXnKr.r.cniEl ,   roo ! 

Tur-T-T-T-T : " 


Hunting    Appointments- 


Scientific   Colonel.    "j\kK  YOU  GOING  TO  TIIK   *  KltlEGSrlKL'  TO-MORROW  ? '" 

Cavilry  Sub.   (//iiudiij  itim).    "AuoK !    'Tiiixic   NOT,  Sin.     Arnii  I     Meet  tbeake,    m.   tiievI    Xevai:    heauu   op   thu 
Clace:     WHKItWE  o.v  Kautii  M  1— t?"!! 

89 


.i!Nliite:^n!f:fe:i 


E^n  CO  u  ra ^ i n^ ! 

Biding^Uaster  \li  Si'b.  l.eh,ir,l,i]  to  i>;k  n/  ttt  iiric  J/oioifcf  EaUcria).    "Wli.i,  Siu  :    You 'r.E  am.  'of  a  Heac'  ox  tKf.  Hmkses  N'fXK 
— Yoi-vi:  Lost  voiru  S«iii:n  axu  yuii:  FoKACE-CAr,  axd  you've  Lost  yolk  SriiiKire— axu you'll  Lose  Yolkself  xext::" 


pl''i|!;|li|'l|i!l|l^jli|j||!| 


'ii'il'hi';i 


•'Ifs  an  HI  Wmd'&c. 

Sportlnff  Sub.  "  I  hiiol'LD  like  to  have  hv  Leave  as  wiox  as  i-osmi  \:.\ 
CoLOXEL,  Eoi;  I've  ju»t  heard  my  Father's  had  a  dad  Fall  oit  IIuxtino 

ColoneL  "Dear  me  I  I'm  sorry  to  hear  that:  I  hove  He's  xotIUrtI" 
.  Sportlsc  Sub.  "On,  IT  isn't  that  ;— oxly  I  wast  to  have  his  1Iol£e:  :' 
90 


Pa.rtlcular! 
AiUut&nt  of  Voluntoer*  (t^  RtanU].    "  WEir .  Sic,  axd  w  hat  Compasv  do 

Y03  WISH  TO   BE  IX  .'  " 

Seoruit.   "Alou  I    1  ve  reix— .>u— i.-ed  to  the  Co'iasv  o.-— ah— Ce'tle- 
mex.  Sir  \'.\'." 


The      Last      Word. 

Cabby  {(..  /.Iiilcli/  Tartij,  irko  lias  gimi  him  his  tvjal  Far  ).    "  Makis'  vek  For.TUNr,  Sin,  no  doubt  '." 

Swell  [ind  rj-aethj  mtcltiug  Uic  Jlcmarl-).   *'Eh?" 

Cabby.    "yni-'i;E  A  L-vvis'  UY  A  oooD  DIT  o"  Mo.NEV,  Sn:,  I'll  he  bou.nd  ! " 

Swell  {rniliijmiathj).    "What  u'you  mean,  Sin?" 

Cabby.    "Wllv  vou  dos't  Si'End  mviii,  sleminiv  I "  [Drives  off  in  Iriuuqilt. 


A     Dilemmd 

Cabby.   "Erk's  a  co,   r'i.irEMA.N  !     What  am  1  to  ro?-I  vos  Ourr.r.Bi.  to  take  thesb  'eee  Okxts  as  'a  hees  a  Dinmn' 

T0U-8r.E,   TO  TIIE.K  'SPECTABIE  'OMES,   VUS  VOS  KO.l  'AsoV,  K  SjlAP.r,   ANOM,E:=  KT.  IIIK  HAl.RANV,   AS.l  THE    TOTKEUS    EI.SEVEr.r.s 
V„LI„   TIIEV  VCS  ALL  rAnunM.I.V  SollTBD  VEX   I  St.MITEI-,    An'   SOW  Tin  V   'VE  ILEX  AS'  OOXE   AX'   Y.XED   TlIKL.SELVES   UI-,    AN 

don't  k^uw  vicii  IS  vrcH  I !" 
91 


Too    Tru e ' 

Xamma.    "Mv  ]»e.mi  Ciiii.n,  wirr.iiK  11:1  Yor  Cfrr  iiiAr  itiiiiAi-n  1.  Shiakii  » >■  yovp.  Ai:m?" 

little  Ada.    "Oh,    Ma,  it  was    j  isikth's  wt;  lIli'.^s  Br.  k»lii  wnu  Tin-:  Gi:kin  Class  ix  m,   iiiai-  tuk  T.'.r.i.  S«  i.uir.i:  oavi:  tii:i; 


"Once  -for  All." 

MlatrMi.  "Bv  Tiic  Way— Anna — IIanxaii— 1  m  xot  .Si'ke.  Is  vo;k  Xamk 
*Annv.    uu  'Haxxaii    f" 

NaiT  Cook  {tttrtlj).  "  WuiCH   MY  >i*ame  is  Asna,  Mim  -M  \icii,  II  v,  IIks, 
Hk\,  Ha,  Hakh,— ' Anna*" 

Mlatreu  {jiti'ij  it  uji  m  tie^air).  "All!     Thank  yol'.' 
92 


Up  and  Down  Statrs 

Toanr  lCi«treu  (a.'  £^  Parlour  Djjr)^   *'Eur.\  \ya\x  is  tuat  Brll  Hins- 

IVO    fin  bO  VIOLENTLY  !" 

Cjolt  I'Wmr).  '"It's  os'v  me,  Sl'trji.    I  want  you  ur.vs  ix  tub  EirciiiNa 

A    MlNlTK  1  :  " 


Laiy   Bountiful,    '*  Hi:r.E,  |my  gj)d  Mvs,   ii::?.E'i  a  TiciiEr  For.  the  On^vst-Jisi   CiriniTULc   Hi:i-tEF    and    Ui:rr.EiiiXii 

JInNni " 

Prof©33lonal  Bayjar  ('C.^'i  a  5/r;r).    "0,  Tii\s;iv  TOR  Xonnys,  Mf\i,  II )i\ti  i>  j  RF.Aur  Mox£r  Bcsiyuss:" 


Gratitude 

Fastidious  Vayrint.    "And  Tiir:v  ain't  'alf  Butteued  !    I  could  'a  Donk  a«  weu.  if  i'u  Oom:  ui-  the  Lave  to  the  'Union  ! 
93 


Music     of     the     Future.     Sensation     Opera. 

Uanaffer  {tu  his  Prima  Taiore,  triumphanthj).    "My  peau  Fellow,  I've  bkouoiit  you  the   Score  of  the  kew  Oi-eua.    We've 

AnnANGKD   sum    A   SlEXA   FOE  YOU   IX   TUE  ThiRD   AcT  !    o'    DOARD   OF   THE   PiRATE  ScKEW,    AFTER  THE   KeELHADLING   SoENE,  YOU    KNOW? 

Heavy  rollixg  Sea,  eh  ?— Yes,  and  we  can  have  some  real  Spray  pumped  on  to  you  from  the  Firk-Enuine  !  Volumes  of  Smoke 

FROM   the   FUNNtL,    CLOWE    BEHIND   YOUR    HeAD — IN   PACT,    YOU 'LL    BE   ENVELOPED    AS   YOU   BUSH    ON    TO   TUE   BRIDGE  !      AnD    THEN    YOU 'l.I. 

Sing  that  lovely  Barcarolle  through  the  Speakixg-Trumpet  !    And  hind  you  hold  tight,  as  the   Ship  blows  up  just   as  tou 

COME   UPON    YOUR   HIGH    D   IN   THE    LAST   BAR  I  !   I*' 


Club     Law. 

Waiter.    **DlD  Yoc  Rixo,  SiRf" 

Member  [trutnij  to  U  calm).   "Yfa    Will  Y<ti-  Wake  this  Gextleman,  axi* 

BAY    I    sIHill.D   BE   OBLIGED   IF   UE*D   LET   ME    HAVE   THE   SPBCTATOR,    IF    HE'»   NOT 

Keauing  it." 

\Olti   tl'aclleihorjK  has  been  nslc>-j>,  irifh  (ht   Pitj-cr  /irmiy   fUitchri,  ft;-  thr 
li'it  lira  flours. 


Ma«t«r  {xHt'^iig).    "There's  a   most  extkauruin.vrv  Smli.i.,   Jaml.^-.     I've 

SOTKEU   IT  SEVERAL——" 

Hall  Porter.    "I  nox'T  wonder  at  it.  Sir.     I've  spmkf  aihhv  it  Down- 
Stairs.     Tiik  Butler,  Sir,  you  bke  is  ''Igh  Church.'  which  hk  *as  fit  vp 

A  HoRATORV  IN  THE  PANTUV,  AND  BURX"*  IIiXCKX.hJ:.  Wk  lOl  I.)»  STAXK  THAT  J 
BUT  THE  Cook  IS  THE  'Low  t'HUIlCH  '  PEIlSUAW'oN,  AXIf  Mil  BURNS  HicriWX 
r.\PEi:     To     Hoin  lAir     TIIK     IIlXlEXSE.         1 1 's     lT.Rrn.KLV     HAWH  I      OX    SAISTb' 

Days,  Sir!'!" 


vtii^'* 


Wages    and     Wi\/es. 

Fbilanthropic  Farmer.    "W'Ei.h,  Tomkixs,  after  Tins  "Week,  issteab  of 

I'aVIS*:  you  I-AILTI.V  IS  ClliEH,  I  SHALL  CIVK  YnU  TwO  SniLLINClS  EXTRA  WaGES." 

Tomkins.    "No,  inANKv',  Masteu;  that  won't  do  fou  Me!" 
Fanner.  "Why,  Man,  you'll  up.  the  Gainer;  for  the  Cider  tou  dad 
wasn'v  uokth  Two  SniLLiNua!" 
Tomkins.  "An,  hut  you  see  I  DriNKS  the  Cidek  bjyself  ;  but  the  Ow'd 

*JUMA.N    'id.  'eV  IHE  Two  SHILLVN'  !  I  " 


Pursuit    o'     Knov/ledoe 


First  Agricultural  (quite  a  Year  n//cr  our  Branch  fiad  been  Opened).  ""WHAr 
BE  they  i'osT-r,s  vui!,  Mas'r  Sam'l  ? " 

Second  Ditto  (Jrtuj  of  tJie  Village).  "Why,  to  carry  the  Telegbaft 
"WoinKs,  Gi;aii*;e  !  "  * 

First  Ditto.  "What  be  the  Woires  vun,  then?" 

Second  Ditto.  "What  be  the  Woinp.s  Fur?  Why,  to  hoold  |op  thb- 
PosT-Es  sari's'y,  Gearge."  .' !  ! 


/     Nice  Prospect .' 

Traveller  {heniyhtrd  in  the  Bhuh  Coiinlry),    "Nut  A  IIedroom  DiSFJfGACED  !     Tut-T-t-t  ! ' 

Landlady  [irho  is  eiittently  in  the  Coal  Business  as  iccll).    "Oh,  we'll  accommodate  you  somlhow,  Sii:,  if  me  and  my  'Usbaud 


CIYES  YOU    Ur  OUR  OWN    BeD, 

93 


Sin  I 


^-../^- 


Boon    Compan ions' 


2arffe«.  "Wnir!     Ge-akkk  :  '  [I^u.stie  (jrins  ia  rcxiwisf.] 

SarK«e.  "I'm  au.is  main  Ci.ad  to  sek  tiiev:,  Oe*ai:CE!" 

Sustio.  "  WiioY  ? " 

3argee.  "'Cal\k  1  know  niKi:F,  mvst  ni;  a  rinur-'OisE  close  nv  !" 


Bereaved. 

First  Pitman.  "Tiiou  iit-wEVT  dees  at  tde  Tors  lately,  Geordis. 
II>n)'s  THAT,  Man  ?" 

Second  Pitman.  **Thou  knaws  the  Dog's  deed,  axd  xvr  kennet  cett£X 
ANOTUEit;  an'  a  Chap  lei'ks  sa  Fond  wivout  a  Doo  !" 


Geo/ogy. 


Scientlflo  Pedestrian.   "Do  you  Find' any  Fossils  iinr.ET" 

Excavator.    "  Dinno  wuat  yoi:  Calls  'Vossft-*.*    We  Finds  youT  heke  nrT  Milk  am*  'Aud  Wokk  ! 


96 


|^5s=^^|^ 


The  Morn  i ng  Concert 


SweU  {ihicsiit  ciu'  !•■,■  .V™,;  /ii'jnsc!/).       -Mv  w.sv.,   is   jMcs— All— (le/ir-t) 
— Ti:-Dr'M  o\'Ai:  T'  I ! 


A   Cool    Card. 


SwtsM  ihniidiaij  "  Ximlitfj  Lifr"  lu  CUilrfl  Piniij).  "  Aw— W"lI.Ii  Ym— AW — 
rn  ME  IIIK  ?'AVnLK  TO  WEAB  IIIB  I.IST  OF  THE  AVaCES  TO  JIK  WllII.E  WK'RK 
WfNXING   DOWN  ?— I've — AW— FOEGOTIEN    MY    KVEIJLASS.      TJon't  MIND  WAISINQ 

Yon:  Voice— I'M  I'wr.ciOL's  deaf!" 


"Relapse." 


Squirfl.  *' AViiv,  Pat,  what  are  you  doing,  Standino  cv  Tltr,  AVai.i.  of  the  rrni-ic-lIoLsn?    I  thought  you  were  a  Tee- 
tutai.i.ei;  1  ■' 

Pat.  "Yes,  yek  Honnok.    I'm  Just  listemn'  to  them  Imi'Enitest  Coys  Dr.is'Kis'c  Inside:" 
97 


^1 


^-^;,;.i^^.->:!'i,.vt^ 


'/  n     Coniidence." 

Hungry  Customer.  "'Taint  Ti.\r>.'* 

Chet  "ClLAU  Yoi*  Like  it;  for,  to  Tei-l  vn;  hie  Tr.fTii,  .v'Tnorcn  I've 
rKF.s  A  Makin'  o'  this'  S»iir  roi:  Fiftkex  Yii.\i;,  I  ain't  never  T.isted  it 
Myself  ! ! " 


"The    Struggle  for    Existence." 

Savwinlan  Coster  {lo  thn/iij  ffoHsetrijc).  "Well,  Fisn  is  dear,  Mc«;  vou 

SEE  II  S  A-GErriN'   IVEf.Y  SCA'cK  IN  COSSESENCE  o'  THESE  *Kr.E   A<jt:ERn;ss !  * 


A  Satisfactory  Character. 


Mr«.  Brisket  ^ubout  the  Stiiiiir*  neic  Hiu'Jf).   "Oil,  YE;»,  Mi'Jt,  Shr  iumr  (N  'i:i:k  VtaTERnAV,  MiM.     lii.ESS  Yki:  !   A  ifFFEtT  L.\nv, 
JIiM  :    Di'n'i  know  one  J'jnt  u'  Mkat  n:i'M  asottikr,  Mi"M  ! :" 
08 


Hard     Up     on     a     Wet     Day. 


Ilicliard.   "What  ai:k  vof  Ringixi.;  fui:,  liiic:  " 

Robert.   "TheBkkf!" 

Richard.  "You'iiE  never  coixo  to  eat  Beef  ahain,  Bi»r.,  at.e  vou  ?    Why  ir  isn't  HAi,y-AX-uoun  since  Bkeakfast  1 

Robert.  "Well,  I'-m  not  ex.\,ctly  Hinguv,  elt  one  mi'st  jjo  Somethixc  !." 


Incom bi nable    E ( em ents . 


First  Medical  Student.   '■What  ade  you  SiciiiNo  Koi:,  Ja<k?" 

Second  Ditto.  *' Ucju  !    I  was  thinking  of  that  infeunal  Cuemistuy  Cham  to-Morhow,  and  what  a  heuced  ruirnv  V.iva. 
SAW  IN  CJower  Street  just  sow  J  I" 


09 


A     Desperate     Case! 


Tint  Driver.  "IIow's  vnor.  B"l:  ■  ' 

Second  Driver.  "Oil,  he's  X  cooD  i>kvt.  niiTrir.  -  jakis  ui^  Aorro.v-  jp.i:j: 

IlFo'i-vr. '■ 

First  Driver  {fiossuraT).  *'All  !" 


"Bon     Voyage 


Bas-CoBductor  ('o  PoHli/  FcmaU,  xcito  icas  iittlitpmitt  ai  fiaving  beat  cfrrUd  n 
tlltlc  heyvml  licr  dejtiimthii).  *'  V7ELL,  THERR  y'auk,  Mum,  Fl'st  TO  YKP.  Left. 
Y'ai.vt  coi  so  vecy  Far  to  Go,  and  tue  W/.vd's  at  vex  Back!!" 


Persona  I  ' 

Driver  (i?«;m/(V»/).  "Xow  thkk,  Bill!" 

Condaotor.  "O,  looK  Ai.ivr,  PLEASE,  M'a  I    {To  the  Drirtr.)    Cas'v  i:Ki.r  it!    All  ix  the  'Amiqie'  Line  this  Moknix' ! 
'Eiik'»  Thbee  Mor.E  o.s  'em!"  [•••JnHqtlr,'  imitril'     A'""'   n't-rlrhl"  lltiui/lil  OIK  n/ Ac  parlia  alluded  to. 

100 


"The  Conscience   Clause" 

Rector's  Wife.    "  Ast)  \Mi.\rV  Yol-j:  Faiiiki:,  my  Buy?" 

Boy.    "My  Fatimmi's   a    '  llAulTAjni!,'   as'   hi:  says  ilr.  wus  r  have  me  i.eaksf    no  Catechism,  'k  et^e  you'll  all  op  yeu 
EAu  «iv  IT  :" 


E  d  u  ca 1 1 o  n . 
Squire.  "  Hoiisos,  riiEv  1'i:i.i.  MK  Yui;'vE  lAKEs  Yoin  Uiiv  A^v.lv  rr.uji  T[ir.  Natio.nal  School,     What's  that  for!" 

ViUager.    -C'AUSF.  THE  JfASTELI  AIS'T  Pn'  TO  TEA.  H  in!"  Sauire.    "O,    I'VE  HEAIID  HE's  A   YEnY  OOOD  UA3TER." 

ViUarer.  "Weli,  all  I  ksoty.s  is,  hb  wastku  to  Ti.mh  my  Bov  TO  Spell  ''Tatbiis'  with  a  '  I*  ' :  I  :  " 


'     ->  > 


"Exem  pi  i     Gratia." 

Ancient  Uariner  {to  cr.tlulous  YaeJitsman).   *'A'.Mir..\L  Loi:d  Kklsos  !    Bless 

YEB,    I    KNOWEI)  HIM  ;   SERVED   U.NDKU  HIM.      JIaNV's  THE  TlJIE   I  'VE    As'ED    HIM 

FOB  A  Bit  o'  'Baci'o,  as  I  might  he  a  Astin'  o'  yoi:  ;  and  says   he,  'Well, 
I   "ain't  cot   no  'Bacco,'  jest  as  you   uicnT  SAY  TO  jJi;;    'BfT  ueke's   a 

SUILLIS'   iVR  YEll,'   BAYS   HE "  !! 


D  igni  ty. 


Shipping  Clerk.  "Ar.K  vr  rut  SIate  n'  the  '  ifAOGiE  i.(FZ)£«,' of  Stose- 
haven  ? " 
State   Utfrultf).    "AsK   IK   I '.M   the   Fir.-B-n-si  OKKirEr.,    yovnc    Man,   as' 

II  VTKE   I'll.   OIK    VK    AN    ANf^WKi;  1  " 


A     Woman-Hscer 

Spltaful  Old  Party  (ic/io  u  (..r.inj  lAe   Xtnijs  of  Uif.  Flagtlaf).     "SlBU'EO  Gi)W.\l.i  SKHSl  All.  Illl  'liu'  WITH  'KM.  KU  !    (C*i/ci7fi.> 
I'LL  SriiiiE  'EM  !    Pit  a  kxtua  STi:r_VK  o'  Ii.k  ix,  o'  I'i-rtose— wos't  Dry  pun  a  Mi'Mii  :    C«m>;  L'M.ioris'  AiwLr  hbbk  with  theiii 
<'iiis'l\.vei)  as'  Ts'ixes,  iHty  must  take  tde  Coksekesses  I !  " 
102 


When     You    are    About    It. 

Mafflster  Famllias  {i?arliiij  with  his  Bn(kr),    "Heue  IS  THE  Lr.TTEn,  Flavacan'.     I   c.\s  coNsuiENTiorsLV  say   you  auk  JIo.nksi' 

AND   .AtTF.STIVF.,    ULT    I    SlIiil'f.D   HAVF.  TO   STHETCH    A    PoiST  IF  1   WERE  TO  SAY  YOU  ARF.  SoiIEU." 

Mr.  Flanag-an.   "Thank  you,  Sou.     Itrr  wuen  you  are  AJTUeu  sthhitchin'  a  Point,  Soi:,  woui.PN"r  you,  m.asi;,  .vniuiTdi  n  a 

TITTr.K    FlkfirKi;,    ANO   SAY    I'M  AFTKx\  SOBEU  I  I  " 


S  ympa  thy. 


Epicuma.    ''Pah  :    O,  good  ciiacious,  Uivin.s  that  last  Oystep.  wa«  - 

UGH  !  " 

"BMXltx  {xcilh  fccliH>j).    "T-T-T-T— DEAR  WE  !     CORKED,   SlR  ?  !  I  " 

103 


THq  Run  of    the    House. 

First  Flunkey.   "Wi.ni-  you  co'mi;  in,  John,  asjj  take  SoMnrmsu?" 
Second  Ditto.    "Thank*,   no;   1 'u.    look   you   vv   next  Wei;k.     'Iti:  ox 

RoARD-WaoES    IHEV,    You    KNOW!" 


"What  Next^" 

UistreBS  {lo  Xnr  Uotisfiiwlil).    ".Ianh,  I'm  quite  Srp.rnisED  to  iikat.  ynu  ias't  Read  on  AViiiri-:!    I'm  mt:e  oxk  of  mv 

l^MT.lliKCJ;   wnrLD  CLAni.V  VNDKl'.TAKK  TO  TeaCH  Yof " 

Maid.    "O.  I,ou',  Mi'M,  IF  THE  YoiM;  Ladies  wovi-D  be  so  Kind  as  to  Leai-.n  me  anytiiing,  1   mioim.d  so  mke  to  Play 

I  UK  CiANNEl;!"  ;  ! 


"The  Servants: 


COOIC.     ■•'i'F.S    S|»A\,    I'm    a   WkITIS'   to    .\1a1;Y    IIaS.V    mIcGS.      She'VE  AIIUKD  to  me  FuU  the  CllAr.KTEK  or  MY    LAST   Misiis, 

MHiiii  she's  Thiskis'  of  takis'  the  SiTiwATiox "  Suaan.   "Will,  you  Give  heu  One!" 

Cook.    "Weli,  I've  Said  this.     (llraJs.)   'Mns.  PEnKslTS  piiesests  hee  CoMrUMlSKs  to  Miss  Mines,  and  nEr.s  to  Isform 

HER  that   I    lU.VSIDEIl   Mes.    DUoWK    A    IIE^PEK'AIILE   VOtNO    PeBSOS,    AND  ONE  AB    KNOWS    HEI:   Pj0TIF.S  ;    HIT   SHE    CAS'T    COXSIIENSEY 
RetoMUEND  her  TeMI'EE,  which  1  HAD  TU  PaET   with  deb  O.N  THAT  ACCOr.NT.'     It  S  ALLVS  BEST  TO  BE  (.AilDIEU,  Tol  KNOW,  SlsAS  '." 

I04 


Quite    Superfluo  us . 


Stont  Passenger  (.;WrcK«.a»!»).    "Huv!   Hov  !   H..V  ! :  •  , 

Bus.Dri,er.   "Au.  li,n.,T,  S,n,  «K  ,AS  Sk,-:  vn,:,  S.u  ;  wk  can  S..  vsn  v,n,  vnr,  >AK,.n  h,  ,„  !=.r. . 


ijiii'i  |j 


"Noblesse  Oblige." 

«„,.  („.  „„.„,. . ..  ,^-«.cv>.^  i^^^ofu.  cv,^.,).  ■■^VK....  n..,  vouu  R,,..  ^-^^  ^ -^  "^^  ^;;::^,i:  ;;t'" 

C...,.   ..00  :  .„,„■  r«  W.LL  .w.„P.  o.  THAT,  S,„,    B.T— (••..««  ."  -...  «-»  m  .,„.  )-As  *^.  ^^.^^^^  ^^^_^^^^^^^^ 


105 


The  B^a  rd  Movem  ent. 

Policeman  (invidionshj).    ''It's  ruFFK<TLV  IIoj-rroxAL  vith  rs,  vor  know  :" 

T"  The  Hairs  tJinn  F'h'caticn   fjiix  thcirsclccs^"  John  remarked  oftcnctmh, 
in  tlic  Scrranti  Hall. 


Too     Late. 

Departing  uaeat.    "  BcT  JTY  Hat  was  a  bran-new  onb!" 
Greengrocer  (Fool  ma  a  /or  Our  nonce).    "Ou,  Sia  !     Thk  SEC0M>-B£HT  'Ats  A*. 
BEtN   GUNE   'ALF-AX-HOUK  AGO,    SlU  !  " 


Music   in  the    Midlands. 

InteUlffent  Youth  of  Country  Town.    "Au  SAY,  Bill,    vll  tu.vt  le  t'  Elijah  cois*  oor  l'  that  Biu  IloxM" 


loe 


*  A     Perfect    Excuse. 

Bector  {to  his  Keeper).   "'Morning,  'Woodgate.    Didn't  I  See  vou  at  Chl'kcu  vissterday  J" 
Keeper  {apolojcticuUy).    "Yes,  Sir.     But— I  felt  I  was  a  coin'  Wrong  all  the  Time,  Sib!" 


"Fahrenheit." 

Hector.   "Ah,  wv.  siiai.i.  in;  LOMFoiiTAKi.n  this  moknisg,  Grufkles,  1  seb 

you've  gut  TUE  TkMI'ERATURE  up  JCItELY.      Sixty,    I    IlEtLAREl" 

Clerk.  "Yes,  Sm,  I  allus  iiev  ^  TitOL'ui.E  to  get  that  thino  ur.    1  took 
AND  ■Warmed  it  jest  this  misuteI" 


107 


Pleasuring  I 


Vicar  {lo  Old  Liubi,  whu  is  rctfrniiuj /ivni  a  FtiMral).  "Well,  Martua, 
I'm  akiiaii)  you've  had  a  sad  Aftebnoon.  It  has  bken  a  long  Walk,  too, 
Fun  \<,v " 

Martha.    "Suue-i.v,  'tis,  Sir!    Ah,  Sih,  'tain*t  much  Pleasure  now  for 

IIB  TO  CO  TO  FUNEUALS;   1    nK  TOO  OlD  AND  FULL  O'  RhRUMATIZ.      It  V.  AS  VElllf 
DIFFERENT  WHEN    WB  WAS  YoUNG^TUAT   'rWX&  !  !  " 


''>x  ■y//:///^.{r/////y'''/////'///'///'7^ 
Aw  k  w  a  rd  ! 


FUTlIEnS  SPENDS   HIS  C'HnisTMAS  AT   A   Cul'NTrv  Ht.rsr,   AND  THE  FIILST  IiAV,   ox  THK   I.ADIES   I.E.\VIN.:  TIIK  T.vtLK  AFTtr.  DiNSEI:, 

HE  JTMl-S  L-|',   ANI»  OfENS  THE    It'ttOXG  LWJK  ' ! 


He  Thought  He  vi/as  Safe 

Xmdbls  Old  0«ntleinan.   "  BiY  A  Cojin!    What  the  DEVir    »uot'LD  I 
iiL'v  A  (..'Mn  rtir. '    Y'-r  i-'n't  see  any  Haik  on  my  Head,  do  vor(" 

T7iiUc«ni*d  Hawker.    "Iaii;'   Bliss   YKK,   SiU.'— YEE   don't  WANT   No  'Ale 

ON    YEi;   'V.XD    ri'U   A   TiNiTH-L'nMD!  !  " 


108 


ws^^  y.'^\-.v."'^f' 


^yS 


t  en  €. 


Hearty  Old  Ottntleman  {to  ihis}>rj<iic  Prifnd).    "Doesn't  A(;nEE  with  vou  ?! 

OU,  I  NEVKIt  I.CT  ANVTIIIMi  VV  TUAT  SOl'.T  BoTIItr.  HK  !  I  ALWAVtl  E-\T  WHAT 
I  LIRE,  AND  DkIXK  WHAT  I  I.IKE,  AND  FlMSII  OKF  WITH  A  *U)OU  .STIFF  Gl\S3 
O'  Ck<.>«    at    Hbl'-IDtK,    AND    lio    FAsT  A^I.KK.l',    AX'   LMT   'jf  FtUIlT    'T    OCT    'MOSQ 

'msmltes/  '-■" 


Con  siderate   C'r/t  icism. 

Bastic  'J^  his /rirjitf).   "\\'\—m,  tux's  Bctteh  tiias  DOlN*  o*  Xawth'n*,  I  s'r«>"V«',  GFAr<:E ! 


"  Th  e  Finish  i  n^     To  u  c  h  ! " 

F&rmor  (irAo  /mi\  \ta-n  mtssl  Obtigiurf^  amt  (alcn  tjrfof  Interest  in  fUc  Pictiur).    "(iooP  Mor.s'N^  Siij  I     \\VT—{a(jhnst)—\  s.VT.  WHAT 
ARK   VOU    A    DOIS'    OF,    MlSTEUl!      A    P'INTIN"    AM.    TIIKM    UKASTI.Y    PoITIKS    IN    MY    CoP.N  I— '  A    BIT    O'    CoLOURT' — WllAT  "OII.D    MY 

Landlord  say,  ii'  you  Think!— ani*  ArrEr.  I'd  mt  off  Ciitin'  cavsk  yoi:  hadn't  Finished,  to  odmce  vEt:,  I  didn't  Think 
Yor'D  A  Done  it!    You  don't  Come  a  P'jntin'  on  my  La.nd  ant  motjk:"  [Ej^i,  in  ffrtnt  diidfftou. 

109 


A     Fortiori. 
Ticket  Collector.  "Now,  then,  make  Haste!    "Where's  youk  Ticeet!" 
Bandsman  [yfixsh^l).  "Au'vE  Lost  it!" 

Ticket  Collector.  "Xonsf.nse!    Feel  is  your  Pockets.    Ye  casxot  hev  Lost  it;  " 
Bandsman.   "AwrAworM     "Whv,   M\^-,    \r  vr  \ '^^r  trw.  BJO  Dltvu f" 


"Nae  That    Foul" 

Country  OSDUamau  (.tv.o  llwa;M  he'd  got  svrh  a  lixiuiin  of  a  wic  Uorttciicr).   "TlT.  TlT,  Tul !     Bless  MY  S.HI,  Saimiers  ! 
Hgw aviiat'6  ail  iiiisl    DiicnACEFCLLY  Intoxicated  at  tuis  Hovr  of  the  MoitMSC !    Ain't  vor  Asiluied  ok  VouhselfH" 

Saunders.    "  SlIllAUrUJ!     (//.V.;      Na,   NA,     M   nae  SAI;  UniNK  As    rilAT  loMES  T' 1      All   KEN  VAHUA  >VEtL  WIIAI    AM    ACOOii:" 

no 


Hibernian     Veracity. 


PaterfamlliaB  {uiih  hli  Family  in  Irchm'f).  "IIavl  vol*  any  "West  India  Pickiks,  Waiter?"  Faddy.  "We've  noi»  Sou. 

Paterfamilias,  "iso  Hot  Puki.es  of  any  Descrh-tion  '."  Paddy.  "Vo;  shuee  they'iie  all  CorLD,  Son." 


■V^vf^  x'^i 


Quite  Another    Thin^. 

Paddy  t^tht  '  '-r),  •'AniiAH,  o'al<»n«  1    1  sAii*  I  j»  lAV  you  FoivE  to  "Wan. 

IVT    I    WASX'l        JIN'    TO    Bki'    MY    lU'F-CnOWS    AGIX    VOUB    TATn'BIN    IITTLE 
S'Xl  SSCE  : "  [^Ezmiit  ftghUiij. 


A     Fair     Offer. 

Athletic  Barman.  "  Noiv,  if  i.j^  l..;,i  t  ,i,u  voruSKLF  Oil',  Vu.  rr.EOlous 
Roos  Tuns  Yor  Ol*t!" 

Pat  (inW  a  yell).  "TuB-n-BX  «E  Oir!  Is  it  Ttc-R-RS  mf  Or:  ;  Thik. 
Bedad!  come  Outside,  a.n'  Trii-r.-i!S  me  Out!  I" 


m 


"The     Way     We     Live     Now." 

Swell  Coachm&n  (wUh  his  eye  on  Uu  Brougham's  eocka^).  "YOCR  Guv'xer  in  the  Army?" 

BroUffham   [artlessly).    "NOT'ZACTLY   IN   THE   HaHMV.       BUT   MI8SW   SAT   AS   THEY   SoLD   MiLISGTARY   CUR  OSITIES  WHEX   THEY  KEP' 

A  Shop  in  'Olbors  ! !" 


l'\l'^^1|4|,!fl'fiirii'ill?*^f^i; 


Re-  Assurin  g. 

Ntrroua  Old  Lady  [Band  in  the  DiManrr).  "Oh,  tiiehf.  are  iuosk  dreadful  Volusteers,  JosErn  !  I  know  the  Horse  wiil 
T.IKE  Foioni;    Haun'i  vor  better  Ti'ES  iiix  Rocnd!!" 

Caaehmui  (ir*o  iri7(  han  his  ou~n  irny).  "Oh,  let  'im  AIOXE,  'M  ;  he'll  Tcrn  'issELF  RolXD,  ASD  PBETTT  QLItK,  TOO,  IF 
he's  Frightened:  !" 

112 


We//   Meant. 

Shoeblack  {to  daily  Ciisfoin-'r),    "Srrir   a   Tnr.\T  uk'vr  got  to-nioiit,  Sit: 
Tka  as'  P.i  ns,  an'  Si*i:kciii:s  at  Kxrtki:  '.\u.  l  \Vi)ri.iiN"r  Yt>u  like  jo  go,  Sh;  V 
City  Magnate.  "On.   iiri;Y  w.-rLns'T  i.kt  iii;  is,  mv  IJoy." 
Shoeblack.   "Um  I    f Pmulcis.)    "  Wei,i.— louk  'li:i:.    I  ihisk  I  coild  Ssiri, 

YEll   I.N    AS   MY   FATULR.'/" 


Naiure     and     Art. 

Pedestrian.  "Tim 'a  an  Extraordixary  Looking  Doc,  my  Bot.     Wkat 

no  vm   I  AM,  HIM  ?" 

Boy.  "Fi-.-T  UP  Air,  uf.  wtt.'  a  Orey'ouxd^  Sir,  an'  'I8  Name  was  'Flt,' 
AN*  thi:n  thev  err  'i»  Kaus  an'  Tail  off,  an'  made  a  Masti'  Doo  ok  'im, 
an'  no\y  'is  Name's  'Lion'  ;" 


Natural    Advantages. 
T«»oher.  "What  Bikd  pin  Noah  send  out  or  the  Auk?"  BmaUeit  Box  In  the  Clau  {afli-r  a  Paiut).  "A  Dovi,  Sia." 

Te»oher.  "  Vkhy  Wr.u..  lii-r  I  siiovld  have  TnonsBT  some  Of  voii  Bin  Il'.va  woi-i.r  itaik  K.nown  that  I" 
Tall  PuuU.  "  Please,  Sir,  that  Bov  oucjut  to  Know,  Siii,  'cacse  his  Fathei; 's  a  Bibd-Ketcueh,  Sir!  !:" 
113 


/^/'      /IvM 


The   Restraints    oi    Society. 
JuTenile  Bohemian.  '*Hat£  coin'  orr  to  Tea  !    'Have  to  ee  Good  such  a  Prccioi's  I^ong  Tiue  : 


Simple    Add  it  ion  . 


Kew  Govemea*.  "Why  auk  tou  Starinii  so  Ivtkvtlt,  Bian'chf,  hearT' 

Blanche.  "I  was  TiiYisu  TO  Coi'.sT  the  Fuecklm  os  vock  Face,  Miss  Saxottoie,  lvt  I  cast; 


114 


Secrgts, 
Int«Uisent  Housemaid.  "On,  please,  Miss,  tiierk  was  a  young  Gentleman  called  when  you  ivas  or 

CaCD,    SIiss;    bit   I   IAN  show   you   who  he  is,    'cause  TUEnt'«  THHEE  of  his   PHOrYGRAVlIS   IN 


r.    He  ixdn't  i 

VulK   Al.CUM." 


"A    Parihian  Shaft." 

Cook.  "Now,  I'm  a  Lkavis'  or  Yrn,  Mum,  I  may  as  wtm.  Tki.l  ' 
Ti!K  Key  o'  the  KiTCiiiNc-Duur.  nrs  Youit  Stohl-Koom  I" 


Sweet    Si m pi i ciiy. 


VlBitor.  "Jast,  has  vovk  MisTiiiB'  COT  A  Boi)t-.Iai-k  T" 

Maid  of  iiU  "Work.  "Kn,  Sin;   :*LEA'iK,  Siii,  1  clean  all  the  Booi^j,  Sik!*' 


Master    of    the     Situation?! 

ScF.NK — Mr.  TetlicrsJtoft's  Sanctum.    Entei:  J/rj.  T.  and  her  Cool: 
Cook  (if ilh  hrr  iismi  pTom]tlUudc—snt  >icr.-r  kciJ  nny'/oWy  }pail!itg).  "Oil,  ir  vou  please.  Sib,  1  wish  to  Complain  of  Missis  ! 

WHICH  SHE  COME  A   nilTATEKIx'  AND  A   HiNTELFEHIX'   IS  YOUR  KiTCBISO   IX  A   WAY  AS  1   JI   SIKE  YOf   WOULliX'T  AlPEOVE  OS,"  *C., 
ic,  4c.  !  !                      [r.  mi/rssea  he /ctl  I/or  the  Jinil  and  last  tittu)  a  deliciout  Knsation  of  Umj  apimrcntly  maattr  in  his  oicn  kotof. 
She  xrat  an  admirable  Cook,  and  altogether  a  most  cjxcll Frr  iloirsrsR  sHi  'MO  ro  so/ 


Manners  I 
Toonc  Xlatnw.  "Jane,  I'm  scrpkiseh  that  sose  of  too  Stood  ip  whes  1  west  isto  the  Kitchex  just  kow  !" 
jKne.  *' Indeed,  Mt'M  !  which  we  was  sc'ritisED  ofRSELVEs  at  your  a  comin'  isto  the  Kitchisg  while  we  wa8  a  'avis* 
OUR  Lu.vcaiON9  f  t  " 
116 


A     Regular     Turk! 

Adjutant.   ""Well,  Sergeant,  Howte  your  Phisoner  getting  on?" 

Serjeant  of  the   Onard.    "  Bedad,   Sor,    he's  the  vi'lentest  Blaggtaed  I   iver  had  to  do  wid  ! 
OUR  LoivEs !    Shuke  we  're  obliged  to  Feed  hcm  w:d  Fixed  Bat'nits!" 


AVe're  all  is  Tir.KOR  iv 


"Incidit     in     Scyllam/'     &c. 

Enslffn  Mufllea  {ailmiing  to  his  Mmutachr).    "You   sek,  some   say,  'Wear 

IT,'    YOU     KNOW  ;    AND    SOME    SAY,    'CUT    IT     OFF,'    TOU     KNOW  ;    BUT    IF    I    TOOK 
KVERYDODY's    AnVIfE    I    SHOULD   BE   LIKE  THE  OlD  MaN   AND   HIS    DoNKF.Y." 

Serjeant   0'Bo\irk«.    "Your'h    Hos'rb   WOULD — (but   not   WISHINO   TO   HE 

rERSONAI,    AliiiUT   HIS  OfKICEIi's   AGE)  THAT  IS — LA8TE-WATS,— BARRIN    THE  OULD 
JfAN,     yitlR    HON-R-B-B  I  !  ]  " 

117 


What     H.  M.      Civil     Servants     have     to     Endure. 

(BESIDES  THE   RIDICULOUSLY   LOW  SALARIES.) 

Mr.  BeiriBtrar.  "What's  the  Number  of  your  Deed,  Sir?" 
Attorney's  Clerk.   "H-eight,  H-ought  H-eight,  H-ouoht,  Sevin,  Sir!" 
Mr.  JLegiBtTUT  (Jnintly).   "  Oh  DEAR  !   Oh  dear  !— (notes  down  the  number) 
— that  WILL  DO."        [And  is  so  up^el  Otat  he  taixs  a  m<mth's  holiday  oti  the  spot. 


Curious. 

Eneliah  Tourist  {in  Irdnnil).    "Tkll  mk,  \\"Airt:r;,  AT  WHAT  Hoi'R  DOES  thk  Fir.ht  Ti:ain  le-\ve  for  Ci.osmf.i,?'*  ', 

Waiter.    *' Is  it  thk  Fi:uiist  Thuais.  Sou?    I'm   sot  ninniLY  shurp.    The  Noisk  Thrais  cp  vskd  to   i.avk  at  Ha'f  past 

XOIXK— BL'T   FAIX    IT   UUUS    AT  TiS    NOW.  >XD  THEUKS    NO    FfRllST  ThRAIN    SOW   AT  ALL   AT   ALU      BUT  I'LL   AX   AT  THE    HaR.    SOP.R  '.  !" 


Anything     for    a     Change. 

Artiat   {Ui   Old   FettowStudeiU).     "And   what    havk    yoi:    ukkn    doing    ai.i. 

THF-SE   YEARS,— WHAT   ARE   YOU    PAINTINOt" 

SwelL  "Oh,  I  gave  up  PAiNTiSfi,  my  Dear  Fki.i.ow— thbn  I  took  to 
Tkachinc.  !  But  you  can't  find  Pui'IM  in  GKNtis,  vmr  knuw,  so  now  I  no 
IN  roil  Art  Criticism  !  I  know  1'«  Stkonu  in  that  !  l*iu  you  see  uv 
Articlk  in  this  W£F.k'd  ' Now  A  Days!'" 

118 


Appearances. 


PluBhinrton.     "I     s\v,    Sni|t.;>;     Sis.it.Ai;    THING— Yi'UP.     Lasi'LADY     Alt- 
hRE-i-KKD   ME    'My    lAtRh'    WHEN    I    ASKI'.K    IF   YoU   WERE  WITHIN:" 

ArtlBt.    '•  XoT  AT  AM-,  MY  i»KAU  Feli.hw.     I r 's  YOUR  Hat  anh  Pkr-sonal 

All'EARANCE  !      If    YuU    IKIS'T    MIND,     WE 'tl.     ENCOURAGE    THE     Il>KA.       It    WILL 

otvK  UER  Confidence  in  hk,  and Enf"        [VlmhiiigtoniciU  U  deU'jhi^d, 


From     One   Point   of   View. 

Slt.se— £riUh  JilTi/  r.oom.     All  (fjrccd  o,L  tliclr  Vcrdic:  c-mpt 

IrUh  Juryman  Ucho  JM  o,.,\    "An,  THIS,  iLiy-.s  MOKE  OBsTIS.I    Sta  I-SIVI,.  m.:t  is  all  »k  lo.vk!-- 


Our    Art-School     Conversazione 

„   .„K:„   „>•   CONSEQUENCE  OP  TI.E  INXBEASED  Sr.CK  ANTIC.P.TKD   AT  THE  ..A.   EXUmiT.ON,  THEUK   ,S  A  CI.EATEB  C«OWD  THAH   USUAU 

Model  (..*<,  7,^  cnar,r  of  0.  Bats  ani  C«U».  No.  97.    Y.......     T,.E,-,H  .ow :    Ir  I  n.nx'x  skb  that  ■;.^-^-^";;  «;';^^^'' 


119 


Between    Two    Shoeblacks    We    Fall    to,"    &c. 

Flnt  ShoebUok.   "I  cotchzd  'old  os  'ik  Fust!" 

8«ond  Umo.    "Yoo'eB  a '■"  [Old  Genlkman  is /ujij  *<■<"'. 


I  m-  pert!  nent. 

stout  0«iit.  inaluraUy  tiapicmu  0/  lie  Street  Boi/).    "Gn'  orr  o'.  hi  Wat, 


v.ii:  Yol-so  Rascal  !  " 
Street  Boy.    "VicH  TAT  noKXD,  Got'sohr!" 


Register      Register  :  ! 

Aunt  Bort.7.    "Noxv  supro...  0«.l.o«,  as  a  Sinolk  Wo«a.v  I  6,iou,.l,  iiavf,  «v  Kamk  .it  os  t,:e  IIeo.^kb,  wbat  8B0»u,  I  OCT 

"   'f.I  Hwh«r.     "OH,    A   GOOD    DEAL.      T0»'D   «  ALLOWED  TO  SERVE    OX    CoEOSEK  JUEIES,   CoWlOX  J.n.tS    AnNOYASC  J"™-   '" 

PowDEP  T«  A.VO  AaxoEiAL   Beae.xo.,  act  a.  PAr.»H   Beadle  a>d  S.a.n-  Ooscta-le  ot  the  Cascal  \^aed,  an»  In.pecto.  or 

HOISAKCE*,   »«rOKT  ON  FeTEB  DlCTEKHl,   AKD  ALL   JOLLV  ThiXOS  OF  THAT  BOEI." 

ISO 


"  Not      Proven/' 

Pre3byt«riaji  Uinlster.  "Don't  you  know  it's  "Wicked  to  catch  Fish  on  the  Sawbath  It" 
SmaU  Boy  ynol  having  had  a  rise  all  the  Morning).   "Wha's  catchin'  Fesfi  ? ! " 


An      Evenings      Fishing      (Bet'ind      the      Distillery      at     Sligo). 

First  Factory  Lad.    "  UoJi'SICK,   DID  \0V  GET  e'er   A   BlTE  AT  ALL?' 

Second  Ditto.  "SoitoA  wax,  Pat.    Only  wan  small  wan!" 

Tir*t    lltLtO.     ''YriiUA'J  ;      i,AVK   IV  TULRE,    /.N"    tOMK  H'JME.      SHUKE   YOU  _LL  OKT    MuKK  THAN   THAY   IN    BeU  ! 


121 


'iv^^J,,. 


"The     Harp     in     ihe     Atr" 

Irish  Gentleman  («7«»  An*  raiitly  ertdcnvoui'd  to  eyrnih  a   Ji'j   to  th>-  fff"^ 
Mtis..-  of  OiC   Telegraph    Wifcn).    "Shike:   wiiuivri;  y"ai:k  ve  (  axt  Ti.ay  a 

nil   !      How   CAX    A  JiNTLEMAS    DANCE— (A.V/)— IV   YK    PONT   KAPE   ThIME?"  !! 


Irish     Idea)     oi    Themis. 

Biddy  {/•>  Put  in  clinvgr  n'joiU  a  difUuHtj).   "Xevep.    fe.\p.,    Pat!    Siicuk 
y'avk  got  an  rmuJiiT  Jidt.e  to  Thry  ye!" 
Pat.  "All,  RfnnY  pAni.ix*,  the  Divel  an  Upright  Jidse  I  want!    'Ti* 

WONK  THAT  1,1,  L.XXE  A   iirrrv  '  '■' 


" Ca n  ny' 


'3  ^v 


First  North  Briton.    "  T  s  K  Fine  Pav,  this?" 
Flrat  North  Briton.    "  Veil  UK.  Ti:.»VElllN' !"    ... 
Flrit  North  Briton.    "Gau.s  iAbekokes,  uaydk!" 


Second  Ditto.   "  S.i  li.i.  ava. 

Second  Ditto.    "  Weei,  vay'be  I'm  no." 

Second  Ditto.    "Ve'kb  x.i  kaii:  afk't:!" 


122 


Irish    Architecture 

Antler  (*'.»  //v'ci/;.   "Hii.Lo,  Tat,  wii.vi   swv.  vol'    mwut  nu«' 
Pat.  "SHVitK,  I'm  Raisin"  me  Hoof  a  hit,  vf.i:  HoNoun-i:  ;  1" 


Thrift 

Peebles  Body  {.'«    7wh  nwman  who  v-.as  su)tj)oxd  to  le  in   Londui   ini    a   visit). 
'■  K~EH,  Mai  I  vk'ke  sink  Hamk  again  !" 
Kao.    "K— EH,  rr'«  .irsr  a  iti'isou3  Placb,  that!    Min,  a  hah  na'  bken 

TI:K-KHIIK   AllVNK  TWA  HouVIlS  WHLN— iJjAC— WhNT  Sjxiexcb.'//" 

123 


Scrup/es. 

English  Tourist  {httiiiiif  arrircil  at  (7rfC)ioct:  on  Sunday  moniiiig).  "My 
Mas,  what's  youu  CHARtiL  ran  liowiso  me  Atrnsis  the  Fkith?" 

Boatman.  ""Weki.,  Sii:,  I  w,\s  .tist  TnisKis'  I  c.vssA  Bkm.\k  the  Sawhath- 
Day  yaii  NO  less  than  F'ukkn  Siuli.'n's  1 ! " 


A      Bad     Season. 

Sportsman.    *'l   can   abi-vrf    voi',   what  witu  the  Rest  of  the  Moor,  and  uy  Expensfs,  and   *what  kot/  the  Bibds 

HAVR  COar   ME— AH— A   SOTEBEIGN    APIECE  I  !" 

Keap«r.   "A'  weel>  Sia!    'Deed  it's  a  Mairct  ye  didna  Kill  na  uaip.  o'  'em!!" 


"Familiarity      breeds     Contempt.' 

EMper  (ifA*  vanU  to  drin    he  lUitaiUt  to  Ou  Squiret  comer).    "  Hooo-o-o-sH  !    Hmie,  Bill,   come  behe  I    Thlt   on  t  oet  VI' 

roB  he!    Tuey  know  he  too  well!" 


I 


124 


Intelligent  ! 
Arti,t  ^.cho  t'u,Uc.  /«  has/ou,ui  a  go.<l  MoM M  ki,  Tou.-asToyE.)   "Have  vou  ANT  Sesse  op  Humuur.  Mr..   B.sole..!" 

Model.     "TUAKK  Y'  ElR,   No,   SlR,  TUASK  V.      I   ENJ'VS  pnmV  COOI.  TaLTH,   Slli,   THASK  y'  .Sir. ! ' 


The     "Nimble     Nmepence.' 


City  Oent  {n/ttr  a  critical  Tmjicctmi).    "  What  BO  YOf  WANT  For.  THAT     Mooxuoul    f " 

Picture-Dealer.   "I'LL  SiiELi  YEK  TCE  Two  A  llAnoAis,  Sii.R  I   CiiBAr  AMI  Dmr,  Si.ir. !   SiiEv.:sTY-FivE  CnNEAsii  Arr.icsiiE, 

SiiiK  !    I  'i.i.  Warrant  'em  usdouiited  .SMETiir.ns's.    Siii;vesty-Five " 

City  Gent.   "0,  COME,  I  DOXT  siixi)  Grvixc  YOf— Thirty  Siiillikos  for  the  Pair." 

Picture-Dealer  ^closing  villi  ahcrity).    "Doxk  I     Willi  \or,  Slim!  !"  \<-"'"J  C'"'  "  "'  '"'   ""' 

129 


,. :^:^y^o^  ^,^X  N 


Menace 

lattle  Anffler  {lo  ha-  n/iactonj  Dait).    *Kkep  Stilt,  Tor  tiresome  littlk 
Tuiso  I    If  vol*  don't  lcavib  off  SKniocLiNO,  I'll  Throw  you  away,  and 

TAKE   AXOTHKR  !" 


■A     Th  I  ng    of    Bea  uty  " 


"Visitor.  '*Wf.i.l,  CEor.fiE,  and  what  ihi  vuu  Mkan'  to  df,  when  yoct 
HAVE  GnowN  Cp?"  Oeorffo  (jtrompth/).  '*As  Artist!'*  Visitor.  "Well, 
THEN,  voir  SHALL  pAiNT  MY  VoRTnAiT."  Oeorffe.  *' Au !  BIT  I  Mfus  TO  Taint 
PRETTr  Things:!'* 


1 


I 


Mixed     PicWIes. 

Domaatlo  (.;!  Irrrijiat  arrrati).    "0,  Ml'M,  iikiik's   Mastit.   Pi.asta<.'x'i,  ')I,  has    UEEX   ami   Ucokk   Ills   Ciian'ia's  InkIImiti.k  is 
TIIK    L|Ii"a1;Y,    and  Cl'T  HIS  FlSr.EU  DREADFUL,   'III:" 

Grandmunma's  Sarlinc  {glrr/ullti  tilludimj  to  hia  A'lual  Crunii).  "AsD  cot  a  JlAr.nuE  li-  BY  Ucizr,  Cuaiica'  '  •' 
126 


The     Trials     of     a     District     Visitor. 


The  Honourable  Sliss  Fuzbuz  (luq.).    "Ls  Mns.  UiGClXS  WITHIN?" 

Mrs.   Tomkins.    "I'll   Call   'eu,  M'um."    {A I  the  top  of  her   Yoke.)     *'Mi:s.  '\v.- 

{To    the   J/uiiOumblc  Miss.)      *'THE  LADY  WILL  CE  DOWS  rUESENTLY,    M'UN  !  !  " 


-(;ixs!  Erf. 's  THE  Person  with  the  Ti:ac's  I 


Legitimate 


Crit 


icism. 


Agpd  Villaff©  Matron  {to  Si/mixithisitnj  Visitor).    "It's  A  'CooKKiiY  IJooK,' 
AS  Mus.    ri-.sr.wi^i-'.,   on:   'I)isritiCT  Lady,'  oivk  me  this  Christmas,  Misa, 

I'd  A    DF.VL  SOUNKK  A'    HAD  THE  InGRIDOIMENTS,    MiSS!!" 

127 


"The   Servants: 

Old  Lady.  "Thky'iu;  au,  Aliki:,  my  Dkak.  There's  oit.  Svsan  (ii  *> 
TRUE  sjie's  a  Disskntki;),  hit  I've  allowed  hep.  to  go  lo  Cuai'F.l  Thi:ek 
Times  eveuy  Sl-xday  since  she  has  Lived  with  mk,  and  I  AJvsniE  vol'  she 
doesn't  Cook  a  iut  Betteu  than  she  md  the  Fiilst  Day!;" 


^<^v\V>\    ^^\N  .;\.   V -x. 


'Pleasant     f  o  r     S  i  m  p  k  i  n  s  I 


Photographer  (to  Mr.  Simpkim).  "Keep  tour  Head  Steady,  please,  Sir,  axd  Look  in  the  DiREcrios  of  rnosr.  vousc  Ladies. 
Steauy  now,  Sin  I    Dun't  Wink,  Sir!" 

Mn,  8.  (f'y  a  look  that  Mr.  S.  quite  understood),  *'JrsT  let  me  See  him  ^VI^K  \  !" 


A      Misnomer. 

CoontzT  Vftletndinarl&B.    *'Ah   ye«,    Mc'm,    I've  had  the    'LvuBAnKB 
tvrk'blc  nw,  Min  :    Kktches  he  in  the  Shall  o"  the  Back  'hue,  Mu'm  !  I" 

128 


"Winkles!" 

Philanthropic  Coster'  (who  tnu  beat  eryiag  **  Peny-teitd- — mink — unnk/"  till 
ke'thoarte — and  »o  bupera),  "I  wonder  what  THE  r'oB  usfobt'nate  Cbaetei* 

IN   THESE   'ere   LoW   NeIGHB'b'OODS   DO   LiVE   OX  !  I  " 


'The      Last     (Co-operative)      Feather." 


*  My  Lady.'   "Just  take  asd  Tie  vp  a  Cocple  of  those  Sacks  Behisd  the  Careiage,  James.     There'll  he  Room,  if 

ONE  OF  Tou  Rides  on  the  Box  ! ! " 


D  isaffection  ! 

Adjutant.     "What's  the  Matter,  DiiUM-M.uoRt" 

Drum-Major.    "Please,  Sib,  the  Drums  is  in  a  state^of  Mltixv,  ani»  these  ake  the  Risoleaders  I 
123 


Zoology. 


Bailwa7  Porter  (fo  Oil  Lad»j  tmvilllihj  vrilJi  a  Maingerk  of  Fets). 
IS  'Docs,'  AND  so's  Paubots  ;  but  this  ebe  'Tortis' 


'"Station"  Master  sat,  Mc«,  as  Cats  is  'Dogs,*  axd  Rabbits 
IS  A  Insect,  so  thebe  aint  xo  cdabgr  for  it!  ' 


Extortion. 

Porter,  s.  E.  E.   "Ticket  for  Ml'sical  Instrument,  PLi:.\et:,  Siu." 

Amateur  ViolonoallUt  {fcho  nnrr  tmvcU  witfmtt  his  bags,  indignanthj).   "  Wuat  !  Pat  for  this?    1  vr.  ^zyzt.  nAi)  to  Pav 

O.N    ANY  OTHER   LiNE.      Tills   IS  MY   'CeLLO!*' 

Port«r  {calmhj).    **NoT  Pebsosal  Ligoacf^  Sir.    All  the  same  ir  you'd  a  HuRnY-CuRDv,  Sir  I! " 

[Oiir  Amattur'9  feelings  art  too  mitch  fvr  Jiim^ 

130 


"Any     Ornaments     for     your     Fire-Stoves''' 
Uttle  Flora  (;,,  pml  ,>,yra.).  "  0„,  Ma«ma,  look  i..nr  !    Jack  s*v-s  ,i's  Avxt  Fanny  !    Sh.  s  cor  on  hep.  E.a.t.fcl  Ball- 

DEESS  WITU  THE  EOSES  OS   IT,   AND  SHE 's  StVCK  IK  7nE  CHlllMi  ■' 


Cornpiimeiits     of     the     Season 

Fond  Parent.   "I  HOPE  YOU  wiix  BE  VERY   Caukfii,,   Mk.   Stimpsos.     1 

HAVE  ALWAYS   BEEN  ACCISTOMED  TO  CCT  THEIP.  HaiB  MYSELF." 

JKt.  Stlmpaon.    "So  1  should  have  TimucilT,  Madam!" 
131 


On     the     Face     of     It 


Protty   TeaohM.    ■SVovv,  JonNNV  Wells,   cas    you   Tell   ml   «iiat   .s 

MkANT    nV    A   MlltACI-E?" 

Johnny.  "  Ves,  TEAcnrn.    Motiiei.  savs  if  tov  dvnt  Maery  new  Pauson, 
'twull  bf.  a  Mubbacle  ! " 


Obvious     I  nitiati ve. 

{A  Hvrhj  Xatirc  of  Ote  I>rfp  .Sat  seizes  hold  of  a  SlicphcriCa  Dog  by  the   Tail,  vho  maX-cs  off  as  fast  as  he  mh.) 
Fisbmonffer  {in  a  rage).    "  Whi'stle  ON  yeh  Doo,  Mux  ! " 
Hiffhlander  {cuollij).    "Wiil'stle  ok  m'  Dog  ?    Na,  na,  Fiuexd  !    Wuvstle  you  on  your  PABTAif/.'" 


Ipt 


Driv!  ng     a     Bargain 


Economical  7>roTer.   "A  Tkeck't  tab  Faakiuk." 
Polite  Cleric.   "  Five-and-Ninepesoe,  ple-vse.' 
Brovar.    "Aii'll  oie  vr  Five  Suillincs  !" 
Clerk  {(Jstonishfft).    "Eh  !" 

DroTer.   "Weel,  ah'll  gie  ye  FivE-AN-Tiir.ii'PENCp,  an    Deh.  a   Bawhrs 
«aib!    Is'r  A  Bacgai.nI  !" 

132 


Candid, 

Tain  {rcry  dry,  at  door  of  Counh-y   Tun,   Sundajf  Morning).    "  Aye,  ilAX,  *^ 

MICHT  CIK  UE  A    BIT  GiLt  OOT  IN   A    BoTTLE  !" 

Landlord  (from  trt/Aiti)-  '*  Weel,  ye  ken,  Tammas,  I  daurna  sr.LL  ONY- 
TriiNc  THE  Day.  And  roRnvE  ye  cot  a  1Ialf-5Ii*tchkin  awa'  wi'  ye  last 
NiciiT  (aftep.  Hoors  tae);  it  canna  be  a'  dune  yet!" 

Tam.  "Dune!  Loku,  Man,  d'ye  think  a'  could  Sleep  an'  TVjiuskey  i 
THE  HoosE  ? ! " 


A  n      I  rish      Model. 
Mrs.  MaffilUcuddy  (/o  her  Daughter),    "Wuv,  why,  Hosekn  :  what's  been'  i>elayin'  ye-    "Why  I  and  me  waitin'  this  Hora 

PAST  TO  CO.ME   IN   WID  THE  illLK  !  " 

Bose.   "0,  suBE,  THIS',  Mother  deab,  os  ue  Way  back  from  the  Meada*  I  met  sl*ch  a  pauus'  Exglish  Jjxtleman— a 
n\LK  Artist.    "Why,  a>1)  he  axed  me  to  Allow  him  to  take  me  Laxdskii*;  and  0,  Mother  uaviionu,  it's  a  "NVonder  how 

MliK   ME  he's  MED  IT,    GLORY   BE  TO  THE  SaIXTS  t  " 


A      Benediction 


Irish.  Beffffarwoman  {to  our  friend.  Dr.    O'Gorman,  whose  Nose  is  0/  the  slwrkst).    "  Won't   yf.   give   me   A   Cori'EU,  DocTUEtt 

I>EARt     TnCY,    now,    if   YE  HAVEN't   WAN    PbNNY  CONVANIENT  ! — AND  MAY  THE   BlISSED  SaINTS   INCJLUE  Yfi  !" 

Dr.  0'Gh>rm&n.    "Stand  *»ide,  my  good  Woman.    I've  nothing  for  you." 

Begwarwonuui,    "O,  thin,   the   Laru  presarte  yer  Eyesight,  for  the  Divil  a  Nose  ye  have  to  Mount  the  'Specs 
UPON ! ! " 


18S 


Mr6.      Frummage's     Birthday     Dmner-Party. 

Krs.  F.  {"  eomituj /rvni  Mtiiid  the  Snwti,  siuaXia  JMt  like  her").  •'Tuki-.e!     Oh  vol'  Goodfoiinothin*;  Bov,  noxv  I've  found 

YOU   OIT.       How    PARK  YOU   TOUCH   TUB  "WlNE,   SiR  t  ' 

Bobert.  "  ]'i.kasf,  'M,  I  vas— I  was  only  just  a  coin'  to  wish  Yours  as'  Masteu's  wkry  good  'kai.th  'M!" 


Confession. 

OH  I,ad7  liMo  ran'l  sitiiul  her  Pagt'$  datructiK  tanUsmas  nay  lonyer).  "Kow,  BoBEKT,  I  WA>rr  voc  CIEARIT  TO  r.vDEBSTANO 
THE   Rkasos    I   TART  WITU  VOr.      C.VN  YOU  TELL  Im!" 

Bob«rt  I  ../ecfarf  lo  tors).  "Yes,  'M." 

Old  Lady.  '•What,  RoBEBTr"  Bobcit.  "Cacse  I •»!—<«((>)— 'cause  I'm— 't-AusE  I'm  so  VaLT'l" 

134 


r^'iT''^,.^ 


A     Stroke     of     Business. 

VUlagre  Hampden  {"  ic/u)  trith  duuiUkss  trcasl"  kus  undertaken,  Jot  su;pcncc,  to  keep  oj?  the  other  hoi/s).   "If  any  of  YEr.  wants  to  SEE 

WUAT  WKJIF,  A   PaINTIN'    OF,    IT  "s  A   'AlFPENXY  A   'EaD,    BVT  YOU   UAUN't   MAKE  NO   KemAI:KS.' 


P  roper     Reproof. 

Fussy  Party.  "WiiY  don't  vou  Touch  vouu  Hat  to  mf..  Buy!*' 
Country  Boy.  ".So  I  wur,  i'  yf.aou'i.i.  howd  the  Ca-ai.f!" 

133 


Little     and     Good. 

Oentleman.  "Who  do  tuese  Pios  bklonq  to,  BoyT" 

'Chaw.    "Why,  this  'eke  owd  Zow." 

OeQtleman.  "Yes,  Y'Es  ;  hut  I  mean  who  a  theib  Master?" 

*Chaw.'  "Why,  that  there  Little  Vn  ;  he's  a  Vabmun  to  FoiohtI" 


Mistakes     Will     Happen." 


,  {alarmed).  "What  is  it,  mv  Darlisg?" 
Pet.  "Ya— AH,  Boo— oon— ah!" 

Kamma.  *'What'8  the  Matte!:,  then!    Come  and  Tell  its  owx " 

Pet.  "Ba — H-oo-H— She — She  did — Wash  ub  once — .v>' — say3 — she  didn't — an'— Sue's  pees — as'  cose  an'  "Washed  mk 
ovF.n  aoatn  ! ! " 


^^■r''''il,!''f'''i(i,(!i:i'?;ii:a:ii!iMll;jiiii|i 


Brushing  '  Pa's     New     Hat-. 

Edith.  "Xow,  Tommy,  ■you  keep  Ti'nsixo  slowly,  till  we've  Done  it  au.  eouxd." 


lae 


More     Than     One     for     His     Nob. 

Irritable  Old  Oeatlem&n  \ir!io  is  rather  jmrticititir  uboiit  his  ajyjmtrujicc).  '-Iwisii  yui;  U  Jii;  CArj;fL-(,.  TrlAi  "i  illF.  Thiijd  or 
Foi'RTH  TiMi:  voL-'vK  Prkkkd  mk  with  yocR  Scissor.^  I" 

Tounsr  Man  {from.'' Jtouiid  the  Comer").   "HEa>Er.  PiRDOS,  Sin,  but  the  Fact  is,  Sir,  I  'aven't  reex  ix  the  aiut  o'  Cuitis' 

'Am,  Sir.  We're  bather  Short  of  'Akds,  so "  [Old  OciU  crjihda. 


i(.Siii|)iil| 


A      Passage     o-f"    Art>TS. 

HairdroMer.    "'Am 'a  VEiiY  Dky,  Siii!" 
Customer  {n^ho  knows  wkaCs  coming).    "I  like  it  Dkv  ! " 
Hairdreaser    {a/Ur    awhile,    agiiin,  advanciwj  fv  ihc  alUtck).    "'Ead's    VEiiV 
SCUUFV,   SiC  1" 

Customer  {still  cautiously  rctirin'j).    **  Ya-as,  I  rnsFKU  ir  Scurfy!" 

\^Assxilant  givu  in  dt/cated 

137 


Flunl^elanum. 
blaster.    *'TaoMPSON%  I   iiF.Lir.VK  that  I  uave  rkpkatedly  BX?BrasED  AH 

OllJF.<-TIo;f    TO    BEISa   SlCftVKD    WITH    StaLE    BitEAD    AT   DlNNKB,      HOW  IS   IT    MY 
AViSIIKS   it  WE   NOT  UKRV   Al'JKN'DBD  TO?" 

Thomiison.    "  Wiit.i,,  Sirt,  I  itEKLY  pon't  know  what  13  to  be  Dosz  I    Ir 

WUNT    I>n    lU    U'AyTr.    iT,    AND   WIS   CJA"*!  E-Vf  IT  DOWII-STAIRS  M " 


A     Dilemma 

Auxiliary  Becruit  {to  himset/).    *'Mi-i:pf,k!    MiRDtu  !     ^Vn.u 'i.L  I  do   now!    'Di:ii.t.-SAr.JiNT  lorLD  >ii:  always  to  Salute  mk 
Officer  wid  the  fac-off  Hand,  and  hei:k'»  Two  iv  em  !    Faix,  I'll   make   it  Straight   fok   mkself  anyhow  I" 

[Throics  up  MA  ffatub. 


Lessons  in  the   Vacation- 

Public  Schoolmtn.  "Hear,  Caobv,  we'll  orvK  tou  EicuTr.E.v-rENCi  to  take  h  T'i  Bcixton." 
Cabbjr.  "  Well,  I  cesekallv  do  cadry  Childcex  "alf  tkice,  bit  I'm  ExcAoaD.«»Is  MucsiNn,  Cexts  ; 


138 


Wimbledon. 

The  IrrepreBSible  'Arry  (to  5,«;;-,S'»,«»-!»«  Ma„-ul,o  l.as  j.u,> /„r,l).    •■Va-a,.!     N.vui:  Tr  ,r! 


Wimbledon. 

Volont^r  Mounted  OOcr   (Midni^U).    "Hl-l.o  ..ekk  !  W„v   .,.,s't  v.,f  T,nN  Ol-t  thk  Cua,.u  t    I'm  the  F,E..D.Orr,.-,-... 
or  THE  Day  1 " 

Volunteer  Sentry.    "Then  wiiat  the  Dix'ce  ace  yov  Doin'  out  this  Ti.me  u   Nii;>n?" 

130 


A      Hardship. 

Uistresa.   "I  TinxK,  Elizabeth,  I  must  .isK  you  to  go  to  Chuiich  thi? Aftersoox  instead  of  this  Morning,  because " 

£lizabetb  (iHttufnantiy).    "  Well,  Mum,  which  in  my  last  Place  I  was  xever  As'ed  to  go  an'  'ear  a  Curate  Preach  ! " 


"Like     har    Impudence." 

HiMit  and  the  Touue  Ladlai  ((w^cr).   "Goodness  Gracious,  J'mima!     what  have  voc viicns't  voiii  Ck'.n'i.in'" 

{This  |ry,l/  attifl'l'l'ltfit'/,) 

Jemima.   "Ou  M,  I i.k.vse  '.M,  which  1  Usotbstwd  as  tmev  was  a  Cuis'  Oct,  'M "  [Rmira mmluj on  Ih;  t^ 

140 


:p5  ^fhm 


"Too     Bad!" 

Coxnlo  Man  {in  an  audible  WJiispert  while  ?iis  Friend  in  **obliyittj"  uiOi 
"Adelaide").  "Look  ottT !  He's  coming  to  the  Passionate  Part  njw. 
You'll  bee  niM  Wag  his  SnouLDtRS  !" 


^IMmm 


"l-t's     -the     Pace     that     Kills." 

Miss  Rattleton  {icho  means  IVaUzin<j).    "Oh,  I  did  not  sat  'Stop/^Me. 
Pf.iMi'i.rv.  " 
Mr.  Plompley  (lUterlp  hlcncn,  in  gosps).    "'usl'RE  you — mu8TBEtib.ei>— '* 

[ATid  Joins  the  Card-players. 


The     G-amu*t. 

Jack  Bowbell  {U./inni^tg  his  Song).    '"Api-v  Land,  'Aity  Lanp-^" 

Tom  Belfrrave.  "Onk  Moment — excuse  mp,  my  dear  Pellow — but  dos't  vou  think  the  Soso  would  go  better  if  you  were 
TO  Sound  yolr  ITc  just  a  little!" 

Jack  BowbelL  "Eu?  Soukd  my  JTsT"  {Chuckles.)  "'Snows  now  much  you  know  about  MusicI— No  sucn  Note— only  uoks 
UP  to  O/"    {Continufs.)     "'Aity  Land,  'Ai'fY  Land " 

141 


0-arr'ison    Instruction. 

InBtructor  (talunaj).  "Oextlkmf.x,  a  Tubee-leoged  Tuestle  is  A  ir.EiTLE  wrTU  Three  Less.  Vou  uad  better  make  a 
Note  of  tii\t,  Gentlemen."    {LiIciik  xfi'ibUiuj.) 

Oeneral  in  Embryo  (fiul  not  nl  pMf.U  Holcd  for  Miorfaai),  afln  a  jnus:  of  aj„K  Mim'cs.  "I  be  :  voir,  pardox,  M.vjor,  bit 
now  jiAsv  I.ECS  vio  vof  say  the  Trestle  had?"    (if/!  siUUg.) 


Cavalry     Criticism. 


Adjutant     lo    BMng-Uaatorj.     ■An,     nitiits   Mr.    QflCKSTEr!"    (»•>()  had  jiat  Erduinjc-t  into  llu  JtljimeiU /nm  t)u  Infantry.) 
"  H')\v   1>"HS   lit  i;KT  ON?" 

Kl<Un«-M»«t«.   "  Well,  Sir.  I  think  he's  the  Hossiest  Ge.\'lesian  afct— and  the  Flttiejit  Gxn'luian  on  a  Hos  that  Evrr 
I've  met  with  since  I've  bkk.n  in  the  Kec'sientI" 
142 


'■  "  The  Wa y   we   Had  in    the    A  rm y.  " 


ColoTiA  (fif  the  prC'Exami nation  period— to  siitdioiis  Sidt).    "1  SAY,  YousGSTEU,  YOi; 'l.L  NEVKi:  make  a   Soldiei:   if  you  don't 

MIND  WHAT  TOU'UE  ABOUT!"  Sub  {miMllj).    "I  SHOULD  BE  SOKEY  TO  THISK  THAT,   Siu:" 

Colonel     "  I   SAW  YOU  SXEAKINO  UP  THE  HiGH  STREET  YESTERDAY,  LOOKING  LIKE  A  METHODIST    PaUSCiS    IN    REDUCED    CIRCUM- 
STANCES I— HoLD  ur  YOUR  Head,  Sir!    Buy  a  Stick,  Sir!    Slap  youk  Le::,  Sir!    And  stare  at  the  Cikls  at  the  Windows:" 


'/\n     Officer    and    a     Gentleman!" 

Volunteer  Captain  {fmmptiomly).    "Officer's  Ticket!" 
Considerate   Clerk.    "Oover'mest   Tariffs    hioh   ox   this    Line,    Sm. 
You'd  isetter  ho  as  a  Gestle«an  !    Cheaper!" 

[Tfte  Captnin  is  s/weketl,  Ivsa  his  presence  of  mind,  aiut  tafics  atlvanitfge 
of  ttic  sufjijestion. 

143 


"The    Service    ^oin^    to ,  &c '■  " 

ENSIGN  BROWN  SnARES  A  TEXT  AT  WiMni.F.UOX  WITH  lIlS  FBIEXD  JONES, 
I'llIVATE  IN  TUE  same  COMI'ANV. 

Ensign  Brown.   "Oil,  I  say,  Jo— Mr.  .Ioses,  there's  one  of  those  Peos 

I.I.USE.      llEM— WILL  YOU— I   WISH— JUST  Jl'MP  OUT,    AND  MAKE  IT  FaST!" 

Private  Jones.    "Oh,   uaxu   it,  Br— SIli.    liRowx  !    Come,   I  Dox'r  mind 
Ti)S3lxa  vou  ! !  " 


Presence     of     Mind. 

CoMtablM  (in  cAflTOj).   "Hoy!    Hcllo  !    Stop!    Tcrs  b.vck  there  !    Cax't  cojce  thbohok  the  Pabk  ! ' 

Eldeilr  FanuUa  (in  n  hurry  to  calch  a  train).    "  P'ucESIAX,  I'm  the  'Ojfl  SucsKTARr .'.'.' " 

S«rgeant  of  PoUc«  (toitn  atacl).   "On,  1  BEO  touk  Pabdos,  I'm  sbre,  Mirs  1    All  rioiit— doive  ov,  Caobt  t  " 

[Oid  Zady  savea  the  train. 


Brae." 


Hgmma 
S&otfhtera 


)  r  i  s^ui ! 

>  toiutlicr  i      "Goodness,  Gracious,  < 

J  (  I  Pa'  .'  ■ 


PapK  (irV)  »<ij  a  fostioK  far  AnliqMta).  "My  deaes,  I  TBoroBT  it  wofLD  uo  so  sicEiY  eoe  the  Landikg  at  the  Tor  or 

THE  SrAinii,   EH    '■ 


^^^^ 


Encou  raging. 


First  Bystander  i,,ulc.,„,  nU.rj.  Sd.«l„u^Ur-ii,.ora,a  .t  of  ,copl'.  f  «'™"i';);  ."  f  °f ^MMV^roor    «E.M.s-«  '  1 
Second  Bystander  (,„,.■<(  ;««  </.».oW  luM  an  inUtUrnt  F.r„ur.  h.j  (U  hok  0/  lam).      AMMV-roor.  -E.M.S 


MAKISO  Ml-'':n  0^  ''■'■   ■">  '^'" 


Tine      Art. 


aural  ConaoU.ear.  "  Hk  's  a  P.ct.s'  Two  r.cruua  .u-  Osce,  d' 

•U.s  AS  he's  oot  '"s  Tuomd  TUllOUOn,  IHK  BL>1 


VER  SeeI    'Blest  if  I.dos-t  l.M;r.  vn,r  iheue  Liitlk 


143 


-  <:^ 


Our    Reserves. 

(AUXILIARY    FORCES,    NORTH    OF    IKELAXU.) 
Lait  Joined  Supemamerary.  "Now,  THEN,  Sentrv,  why  don't  vol'  SaiA'tk  Ytiri:  Oi'VKKn  ^" 
XlUtU  S«ntry  [M  r.nilc.-c  IrUh   VeUmn,  icJo  A<m  bten  through  /V  " Srfctii"  War).   "S.vl.UTB,  is   IT?     DiVKi,  A  Salute  yol'  'Lr, 

CET   ONTILL  YE   PaY   YEU   FlTTIS"  !  !" 


Badinage.. 


Facatloiu    'Bui-Driver   {igtriaii   lit   prill   ii;0     "'Ele   y'are.    Sip..     Look    sHAn^    lin.L    AM)     ELI'   THE    Gex'leman    l.-i    wjiu    lii» 
LuooA'iK : " 

Obimney-Sweep  (irAofr  stlf-rtspcd  it  Kurt)  uses  atrvH-j  Imujiiatj^  t 

'Bue-DriTer.    "Bet.  Pard's,  Sin.    Ces'ijmax   ain't   tin:   is,    liic.T,    He's   a    loosis'   iit  For.   a    MIatlas.     Ooin'   to  Mapam 
Toosawk's,  to  *ave  his  St.vtty  done  in  ■Wax-Work!!" 

148 


Particular   to  a  Hair, 

Irate  Major  (to  hairy  Sub.).  "Whex  next  you  come  ox  Parade,  Sit.,  have  the  Goodness  to  LEA^-^  those  confounded 

"WeaTHEKCOCKS  behind   vol"  ! " 


C h ro  nol o4 y 


'Bus-DriTor.  "Thev  Tkix  me  theke've  nKEX  some  Coins  eoinu  in  these 
|£KE  'KXKVXAnoss  TilA]  'a  IIEEN  BllMEU  THEnE  A  JIaiter  o'  Fofll  OR  Fn  B 
UNDltriD  Yeai:  \\" 

Paasenrer  Priond.    "Oil,   that's  Xothix' !    Whv,  there's  some  ix  i he 
Brisk  Mlstrji— ah— moke  than  Two  Thoisasd  Veak  tH.D!;" 
_  'Biu-Drlver   {.afler  n  jniix).    "  (.■.imk,   Ge..1!i:k,  that  won't  no,   ver  know  ! 
CaDSE  \VEI:E  only   in   EIUUTX  'L'NDRUJ  AS'  SlXTT-KlNI.  Now  •  '  I"    • 

147 


"Bus  -Measure." 

•Bus-Driver.    "Ne\er    see    the    foMET?!      Whv,    wherever    could    YOlf 

'•*' "  (■V"(iV'-.<  Xharlnas  0/  ••  Oc'ilmmn's  "   luitr,  i-c,    and  kaitalea).     "How- 

SOMEVKi:  " 

Fassonnr  UtUmnii  liia  tm'jarmsamtnt).   "Whereabouts  was  it!" 
DrlTM.    ■Wem.,   I'm.    TeM   YEll.      Ir   was  about  the   LES.iTU  0'  run  TIRE 
V.l>    EU'-ll     IH.'    FoKEAIIDEtT    LkAUEU    IN    ItlE    (;UE.KT    Ueak'" 


Tricks     upon     Travellers. 

Bonsor  (limni  ii;»«  liUU  Sliimfij/,  irAo'j  <i  fnal  loaslcr  ulmil  /.i»  "SKtU"  iKguainlaitrf,  aiid  his  r-rlnaixr  "  Tmir/,  "  oiul  thit  <Knr 
aycMllij,  rff.ira  PaUaliM  imy).  "DlB  Vou  SEK  IliE  DAKDAKKLLES  !" 

Stannary.  "  Eu  '    The— eu  !    On,  y»'— yes  !    Jollv  Feelacs  as  evef.  I  met  !    Dised  with  'em  .vt  Viesxah  '.  " 

ILilllf  S.  *<M  ir/l  /«'  Cluh. 


Quantity     not    .Quality. 

Brown,  S«nior.  "Well,  Fked,  what  did  you  see  DVRiNo  YOfR  Trip  Adroai>!'' 
Brown,  Junior.    "Aw— 'pox  it' WORD,    'don't  know  what  I    saw   'xAtTLT,  'oxLY    know    ?    i" 
Eight  Towns,  and  Foi'k  Mocntains.  than  Smith  did  in  the  same  time:" 


iiv    Thi;ki     I  ilI'NTRIK-*, 


A     Vyoman     of     Business' 


Hn8band  (wlio  hia  Iccn  m  A'.  CmUiimil, 
Oteiidrawn  at  the  Bank  !" 


and  Irjt  Im  Wife  some  Blank  Vlu^qufs). 


"MV    DEAr.   LOL-ISA,  I    flSU   VOU    HAVE   CONSlUEIiABLY 


Wife.    "0.  K0>.SES»K,   W,....V,    HOW  CAS  THAT  BE?     WhV.   I'vE  TWO  OK  THO 


.sE  Bla^-k  Cheques  left  yet  :  I 


"Reason      in     Woman." 

TOM,  wife.     •■GK..UOE.   BEAK,  TVE  HAD   A  TaI.K    WITH   THE  SeKVASTS  TH13 
MOR°^'    AND    rVE  A<n:Er.D  TO    1U.SE  THE.n   Wa.KS.      THEV   SAID    EVERVTB.SO 

w!b  Jo  Deab  .now-Meat  was  so  H.qh,   and  Cua,.s   had  R.SEK  TO  SCCH  A 
P^cTaHI.   EVERTH.N..—     1   THOUOHT  TH.»   WAS   KeASONABLE,   BECAME  1   VH 
SO  OTTUI  «»APn  TOC  COHPLAIK  OF  THE  SAME  THINO. 
149 


MAKE    THIS   MlNT- 


"Our     Failures." 
Hu.l>and.   ■•!   SAY,  Lizzie,  what  os   Eabth  did  yo 

Sauce  of!"  „  „.,„.,  i  ■> 

■Zouiit Witt  {<oho!,«^bcc^'- helping"  Cock).    "Pauley,  to  be  sueeI 


"Where  there's  a    Will    there's  a    Way/" 

Cook.    "Please,    M,  I  wishes  to  Give  Warning "  Mistress  ,s^(l•J^,■iMf^),    "  Whv,  what's  tue  MATren ?" 

Cook.    "Tub  Fwt  is  Mi'm,  I'ii  uoi.va  to  ket  Married!"         Mistress.    "Why,  Cook,  I  did  not  Know  you  were  Engaged!" 

Cook.     "WlIKH    I    HAM    NuT    A2ACTLY    EnGAOED   AS   YET,    MlM  ;    HIT   I    Fi:i;i.S    .MYSELF   TO    DE    OF   THAT   'ApPY    Disl-OSITION    AS    I   COCLD 

'oY£  HANY  Man,  MlM  :" 


^^i^f^L*^^^ 


"Sat/s  factory/" 

T^iatnn.  "Wkll,  Jt-ssii:,  I'm  coino  into  Kaiiinb,  and  will  sti:  yolt. 
UuTiiKi:.    Can  I  oiVE  ueii  any  M^issaci:  fi:om  yolm" 

Jusla  {Iter  frst  •' pliKx"),  "Ol-,  MtM,  ye  i  an  jcsr  Say  I'm  is-u'  weel 
Pleaded  wi'  vk  ! ; " 


1EO 


"Ha^    Ha'    The  Wooi n'  O't I" 

'  Toonff  MlstroLi  (yrnrcltf ;  she  had  seen  an  affyxlivtuite  jinrting  at  Ute  tyinJkn.- 
gaU-).    "I  Si'.K  You '\  B  COT  A  Yofxo  Ma.v,  Jase;" 
I  Jane  ("i^l.ojtticnitif).   "Oxly  Walked  Oct  with  him  Once,  M'u'm:" 
Kistress.    '-0,  BUT   I   Thought   I   Saw— didn't   you— didn't  he— takk   a 

Kl--.    JANKf  ■' 

Jane.    "O.  M'm,  only  as  a  FnnNn.  M'm!1" 


"The     Way     we     Build    no\^. 


Indignant  Houseowner  {Itc  hutl  hmnl  it  u-as  so  much  citatjicr,  in  the  en  I,  tn  hinj  your  Housi),    "  \Vu'  Wll\r's   rni: — what   An 
-Wfl.v' — WHAT  DO  VOf  SL'rroSE  IS  THE  MEANISU  OF  THIS,   Ml:.    ScAMI-LIXG  I  f" 

Local  Builder.   "T'  Tcr,  Tut!    "Well,  Sin,  I  'stect.^  sums  uneN  be;;:,-  a-Leanin'  agix  it:  !" 


"In     the     Long     Run" 


Town  Oent.    "  Kow  Do  vou  ri.\D  KEGn.vu  rouuiiv  assweks!" 

Country  Oent  {hidy  retired).    "0,  'ta,  s'l'osHD  T«   AXSWEll.     V  ^E^;   TllEr.E's   THE  OIIICIXAI.  C'osr  oy  THE  Fuwi.s— 'r  cciuilsE 
THE  Kuou  i;uES  UOIV.N  TO  ME,   l'   KXOW.      WeI.I.,   TIIEX,    I   I'l-UUHASE  THE  ElltS  Fllu.M  THE  ClIILDKEX,   AXD  THEY  Eat  THEM!!!" 


Rather     too     Li^teral. 

Country  Oentleman  (m  a  rage).    "Why,  what  uave  you  beex  up  TO,  YOU  Idiot  !    You've  let  biu  down,  asd 
New  Groom.   "Ye.*;,  yer  Honn'er,  ye  tculd  me  to  Break  him  ;  ax*  Bcue  he  is,  E^ees  an'  all,  wokse  LrcE! 


"  Bon     Voyage 


Xoaan  {shot  into  a  nkf  soft  loam)  txuUiwjly.   **A— ha— a!     I    am   safe    0-viRE :    5ow    it   is    yuL'E  Ti-RM,  SlKF-rrEtt   Timbre 

JOMVRI !      COMS  ox,    SaAE ! " 

182 


-;s«f^ 


\>^ 


'Fiat     Experimentiim,"     &c. 


TO  Trt  him.  Sib;  " 


!  r  reverent. 
P„u..»«  («,,  «K  .™..»  o/»ur  ..C-.»/n,.<.-o.").  "S.-..!  STor!  Go  ..ck  ■   Yc.  must 

o'  lUt    HliHOP  EVKIY   MiSUIEl"  , 

C^bby  ,M,^,mo).  "AIL  B.ouT  !    VThVve  oot  tue  old  Bukfeb  .ns.de  . 
1S3 


HTC.MK.X    HEUEl     WKUEEXPKT.y 


Wet     and     Dry. 

Cakreful  Wife.   "Abe  tou  very  wet,  Deab?" 

Ardent  Angler  {turning  up  his  jUak).  "No;  DRY  AS  A  LiME-KiLN— nAr£.\'T  had  a  drop  these  Two  Hours: 


'Not  so    Fast.!" 

Old  0«at.  (KMajKoitxj,  in  ilu   U'ilda  c/  GlrHmucHe).  "All,  wkll,  this  is  VKKt  Jolly!    Weilth's  a  cceat  BLUsma - yor 
TBAT  I'k  A  Rich  Mas-  uit  ajtcr  iiii:  Tikmipm.  am.  W.ip.iiv  or  llLsisiiss,  to  dk  adle  to  RmKE  to  thlse  cuaumiso  SoLiTiont. 

THE  SlLBSTE   ONLY   BlloKIIV  UY  THE  CEATKri'I.  iJ'irNDS   OF  THE   EIPl'LINO   StKEAM    ('  HuilN,"    I    MEAM.      AU  !    I    WKAr.I.Y   UAU   HISI   TUE.N  '.)^ 

AMD  THE  IllM  or  THE  I!ec  ;     To  BE  ABLE  TO  LEAVK  LOSDOS  XSO  ITS  Tir.ESOME  MILLIONS,  AXO  roKorr  ALL  THE  U)W " 

ToiM  from  th«  Brl(lc«  (<*t  uliquUaua  •"Any").   "Colli)  YEP.  'liLlct  US  WITH  A  VTolul,  Gov'soUB  !"  ! ! 
1S4 


Banting      In      the      Yeomanry. 

Troop-Serff«ant  Major.    *'  It  comes  to  this,  Captain,  'a  mun  e'thzh  azv' 
X  New  Jacket  ok  kkock  off  one  o'  my  Meals  I" 


Something     fiom     the     Provinces. 

ExcoTBionlst  (polUchj).     "Can  YOU  KINDLY  Direct  me  the  Nf.akest  Wm 

to  SLAfM.EY  ?" 

Powerful  Navvy.     " Ah  CAN  PooNCH  th'  Head  <>  thee!" 

lExcursioiiisi  Tctircs  hastSjf^ 


■■  Ways     and      Means/' 

First  Country  a«ntlemBn.  '"Mean  Hustino  THIS  WiNTEii,  Chahlie?" 
S«coiid  Country  Qentleman  {dmM/uUy).  "'Shall  thy  and  'Work'  it.' 
First  Country  Gentleman.     **HowT" 

Second  Country  Gentleman.     "Give  up  the  Uxder-Nurse,  I  think." 
153 


B  la  tik      Firing. 


Ancient  ^iwrtaman  (ir/u>5«  Sight  it  not  what  ii  tucd  to  be).     "  I'lcK  'eu 
James,  ikk  'j;m  irl    Why  don't  you  pick  'em  uri" 
Veteran  Keeper.     "  'Cauu  thkre  bean't  Kxnc  down,  hy  Lord  I " 


UC  SOUTHERN  REGIONAl  LIBRARY  FACILITY 


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